"Life is tough and children need to learn how to deal with it."

[Bubble99]

We're considering home ed for DS1 when he finishes primary/junior school.

This is one of the comments we've heard against home ed and the more I think about it the more I disagree.

Why should children be subjected to even low-level bullying? Employees don't. Why should children?

I suppose it depends how 'tough' the experience of school is? Children need to learn how to fit in, but not at any cost?

In that case Bubble I can see exactly why you started the post.As people will have noticed I am an enthusiastic supporter of schools! However I wouldn't send my DCs to a dire school. Are there no possible alternatives? If not I think that you are right to go down the alternative route.
I was so pleased to read your post riven, it is the first time that anyone from HE has admitted that it isn't always perfect! My one point has always been that schools range from excellent to dire but so does HE. Human nature is the same the world over,and HE has its share of bullies and unpleasant personalities. A good friend has been HEing her DCs for the last 12 years has been active in her EO group and been on summer camps and can tell a good few stories about difficult parents and children! They are not all 'little darlings' although a lot are -probably the same proportion that you would get in school. I suppose the advantage is that in HE you can avoid the ones you don't get on with whereas at school you come across them everyday.

MsDemeanor- There seem to be some really strange ideas about schools amoung some home edders. No wonder some are so terrified of schools!

please dont try and belittle me it may surprise you to know I work in schools as well as H.E so it might just be that perhaps I do have more than an idea of what goes on ........btw before you jump to conclusions 2 of my childre are at school.

"Are there no possible alternatives? If not I think that you are right to go down the alternative route."

You shouldn't say that, AbbeyA. HE is not just alright as a last resort if there are no possible alternatives. HE is a legal choice JUST AS valid as school. Not second best, not last resort, just a different choice. The schools in the area might be all-singing, all-dancing mini-wonderlands, but HE is still a perfectly valid choice if that is what is right for a particular family, and the only people in a legal and moral position to make the decision about whether it is the right choice is that family.

In private, you can disapprove of HE (except under certain extreme circumstances)as much as you like, but this sort of comment in a public forum is inappropriate and misleading. I would expect better from someone within the education system.

Of course it is a valid choice, but I got the impression that OP would send her DS to the school if it was reasonable so it seemed sensible to see if there were alternatives before exploring other avenues. She is not choosing HE on its own merits but because she doesn't like the designated school-therefore it seemed a pefectly reasonable comment IMO. I wouldn't have made it if they had a lovely school but thought HE might be better.

i couldn't disagree more with the comment in the subject line.

life is to a large extent created by our internal reality. of course life throws challenges our way, but if we were given a sense that the world is a benign place and our needs will be met when we are very small, then generally speaking we have the resilience and capacity to face those challenges without crumbling in the face of them. also, people that believe that life is easy and they are lucky, generally are, and vice versa (lots of research into this).

you are absolutely right to remove your ds from an environment where he is learning early on that life is tough. rather than pretty wonderful.

applauds sophable very loudly

Bubble FWIW my DS is at InterHigh and we've generally been very happy with them.