"Life is tough and children need to learn how to deal with it."

[Bubble99]

We're considering home ed for DS1 when he finishes primary/junior school.

This is one of the comments we've heard against home ed and the more I think about it the more I disagree.

Why should children be subjected to even low-level bullying? Employees don't. Why should children?

I suppose it depends how 'tough' the experience of school is? Children need to learn how to fit in, but not at any cost?

Who's saying they are afraid to send their child to school just in case they might be bullied?

I don't believe the 8 out of 10! I have 3 DSs all at the same comprehensive. One was bullied on one occasion and the school had dealt with it and phoned me up to tell me about it before he even arrived home! Schools take bullying very seriously these days, they have playground buddy schemes and peer mediation. I would insist that schools listen riven-they have to have anti bullying policies.
I would agree that if all fails and your DC is being bullied then make alternative arrangements but to HE because you believe your DC MIGHT get bullied is bizarre in the extreme. I agree strongly with MsDemeanor, I have written before about a little boy that I taught, very poor academically, cleft palate, bad speech defect, the coordination of a 2 year old and so thin that he looked as if a puff of wind would blow him over! That child would have missed out badly if his parents had assumed that he would be bullied. He was outgoing and friendly and he was loved by the whole school.I have to say that he was one of my all time favourite pupils, he was always positive, always tried and never took advantage of anyone.Children respect this.
I had a part time job recently with a lovely group of year 5 children and I really miss it-they were a joy to teach. Schools are not full of bullying yobs!!

The OP said why should her child be subjected to even low level bullying. Which implies to me that she thinks bullying is an inevitable part of school life. And the word "rife" was used by another poster.

I don't believe the 8/10 figure either.

Forever Cleaning wrote: "We all do our best, for our children, whether educated at home or school, and if avoiding hypothetical bullying is a reason to Home Educate, good for them."
I disagree this is a good reason to HE.

How can you avoid hypothetical bullying? It's fine to say that you dread the idea of school because you're frightened of xyz happening. But it is illogical to say that xyz will happen simply because you fear it. Your anxieties don't make xyz a reality.

I'm not sure that anyone has said they wouldn't send their child to school just in case they get bullied have they? Or maybe I've missed something. Some have had big problems with bullying and then chosen to HE, and some are considering HE for the same reason. Others HE for a whole variety of other reasons but just disagree with the idea that children need to go to school to be 'toughened up.'

I disagree with that idea too.

I supply teach in quite a few primary schools and none of them would expect a child to put up with low level bullying. If any parent is going to go down the HE route purely because they think their DC might get bullied they are being overprotective and controlling.I can see many reasons for doing it, but that is not a valid one IMO.

The longer I work within education the more convinced I am of the benefits being educated outside of the 'system'

however I don't think that bullying (or fear of) should be the reason for this choice

instead it should be because you don't want your child to be shunted around in a system where no one is really interested (or has time to be truly interested) in instilling a love of learning

rather than just coaching them to pass exams so that schools can be judged as 'good/excellent' etc
as these exam results do not signify intelligent children who can independently problem solve, love learning new things and do not rely on a teacher to supply them with the answers.

where as home schooling can give your child these things, with the help of associations such as Education Otherwise, group learning with other children, lots of sports and other enrichment activities.

But one thing you must consider is how much you trust your own knowledge and ability to learn as teaching takes a lot of planning and constant improvement of your own skills/knowledge.

If you do decide to home school, I wish you very good luck.

I can't agree with you ten10. Maybe I have been exceptionally lucky but my childrens' school is wonderful. A love of learning, independent learning - they are receiving a fantastic education. Their teachers are kind hearted and warm and they put a great deal of thought into the lessons. They are very very fortunate indeed and being home educated by me would have been a much poorer experience.

I know schools can be dreadful and I know some children have appalling times in them. I can acknowledge that even though my own experience is different. But to listen to Home Edders, you'd think there was no such thing as a positive school experience.

Hear hear nkf. Schools cover the whole range from excellent to dire, HE is the same -the whole range from excellent to dire. Some give their children an excellent start in life-some I feel very sorry for.

nkf Can you make that "some Home Edders" please? My DS's experiences of school were good, and I don't consider that to be unusual (not universal either, but common enough).

Yes, AMIS, I can make that some home edders.

I agree to an extent with the thread title. Life can be tough at times and children do need to deal with it. I just don't think that they need to go to school to do that.

I also think that if a child is having a really tough time at school then the statement in the thread title is very dismissive of that child and how they feel.

I wouldn't home educate my children because (a) I believe that school serves a social purpose that is just as important as its educational purpose (b) I am able to foresee having the means to pay for my children to attend decent schools - be it by paying fees or living in a good area.

However, were i by some misfortune unable to ensure my children could attend schools that were fulfilling their social goals, I might consider home educating.

"Low-level bullying" is a fact of life in any social environment. There is no better way to ensure that children learn basic, fundamental self-defence skills than being out in the world,

"There is no better way to ensure that children learn basic, fundamental self-defence skills than being out in the world,"

And this can be achieved without going to school.

I think that if a parent wants to HE they should be doing it for the positive benefits and reasons not from their own negative views of school. They should also make sure that, from home ,their DC comes into contact with many different types of person. They should let their DC go away on scout camps etc.and allow them to take risks, make their own judgements and sort out their own problems. I accept that those people who HE well do this, but some are very narrow in outlook.

I don't think low level bullying is a fact of life in any social environment. Not unless you stretch the meaning of bullying to include disagreement.

In the beginning of this thread, the OP asked about home ed. She is interested in taking her DC out of school at the end of primary years.

She did say she is concerned about hypothetical low level bullying and had expressed interest in HE because of this.

We fellow HE have agreed that bullying should not be tolerated and as HE'rs do, have tried to give her and others who have joined the thread and expressed interest in HE, some positve advice on where to get further information. i.e education otherwise and trying out local groups to see what their DC's think of it.

As a mum of a DC who is happy with school as well as home educating, I have encouraged people who have concerns about schooling to look into HE.

It may not be for them or their DC when they have gathered all the information, but equally it may well be just what other families are looking for.

This was not meant to be a HE against school thread, as they can become extremely heated and actually don't get anyone anywhere!

I appreciate I may have very strong views about bullying, and hope that I can get the word out, that if parents are concerned about it, whether it is happening now or not, that there are alternatives to school.

Amen

juule - I think that depends on many factors.

If you live in a country, like I do, where 99% of three year olds go to school, if you choose to home educate your child will have exceedingly limited experience of social normality. It will be extremely difficult to engineer situations where your child is "out in the world".

I don't think low level bullying is a fact of life either. Perhaps you mean that in a social environment there has to be give and take and someone can't always get their own way? Children have to learn that they are not the centre of the universe-if one child is chosen for a job that means that another 20 or so are not chosen-I suppose they could call that unfair -but it is life.

nkf - don't you think that little children use low level bullying more routinely as a way of illustrating difference of opinion than do educated adults? Reasoned disagreement is a learned skill.

I think that if a parent wants to school-ed they should be doing it for the positive benefits and reasons not from their own negative views of home-education. They should also make sure that family relationships are strengthened and not weakened by school peer groups. They should promote family values. I accept that there are people who support their children even though they go to school but there are some who just want their children out of the way for a few hours.

"They should let their DC go away on scout camps etc.and allow them to take risks, make their own judgements and sort out their own problems. "
This applies to school-ed children as well as home-ed.

I don't think that this is an anti HE thread. It is just pointing out to OP that HE is not the obvious solution.