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Original poster

Am I the only HE'er who is glad that the others have gone back to school?

181 replies

singingmum · 03/09/2007 10:19

Having watched the behaviour of local school children over the hols,I am so happy that they are no longer going to be running riot on the streets all day while their parents let them cause havoc.I know that not all parents let their ds's run riot but a large majority have this summer on this estate and personally I'd like to kill them.Harsh I know,but we've had bored dc's everywhere and have suffered from bullying to our dc's and also damage to our fencing.I'm sick of parents(and it's a couple of families inparticular who are responsible)letting this happen.It's as though they have switched off to their dc's behaviour or aren't used to dealing with it as they don't see them enough or something.
Ok so I know that some people will take offence but we have had bored dc's since the second week of the hols and I just am so glad that these dc's are now off the streets and finally will have something to keep their attention.
I'm not saying that all parents who send their dc's to school are like this but the estate I live on was so lovely until someone started letting houses to tenants that the council and others had evicted etc. and now we have to put up with the side effects of this.
Apologies to anyone who is interested in their children but why can't these parents get a handle on these dc's????
Rant over

OP posts:
Isababel · 04/09/2007 08:28

I still believe you can't really draw conclussions from such a small sample. The truth is that although we can not say that school is the best option for all children, we can not say, either, that it will be better for all children (and their families) to home educate.

The social side of it is one of the main points for me to send DS to school, we can easily support DS academically from home (we all are involved in education) but I doubt I would be able to provide as many oportunities for him to meet with other children regularly, for him to develop friendships and to learn how to get along within a bigger group. I know all this can be provided by home educators but unfortunately, being a shy person myself, I wouldn't be so good at arranging for that interaction, hence HE is not for us.

However, I respect the method and the people who follows it, but what I can't respect is the polarised views some parents develop thinking that only their own choices are correct. Those dogmatic attitudes I consider idiotic (be HE or regular schooling). We are all different, and the fact your neighbours don't care much for their own kids' behaviour doesn't mean everyone outside is following the same pattern, you ended living in a bad area, bad luck, but please don't assume that all children are like that because they are sent to school.

juuule · 04/09/2007 08:54

Have just read the op. Singingmum, it sounds as though you have rotten neighbours. Nothing to do with home-ed. Your rant doesn't belong on the HE forum.

Original poster
singingmum · 05/09/2007 10:40

Yes it does as I wondered if it was just rotten neighbours or because we HE that the prob seemed so annoying.
My question was is it just dc's in our area.Also it is an HE question as in-Has anyone else noticed the differences I am noticing in the behaviour of school dc's compared to what I know of HE dc's?
Also I am not the only one who has noticed these differences.other family and friends(most of whom send their dc's to school)have noticed the difference to.
I stated in my original post what I meant but apparently have been mis-understood.As I say I know HE isn't for all but I also know that a lot of parents would rather not deal with their dc's that much which is a shame.

OP posts:
juuule · 05/09/2007 12:52

I still don't see the link with home-ed to be honest. You seem to be saying that the problems are due to lack of interest by the parents. Are you saying that parents who home-ed take more interest in their children than parents who send their children to school? Or are you saying that the bad behaviour is caused by what the child deals with at school?
I think that the havoc near you sounds to be being caused by anti-social families (or that's how it sounds in your op). Whether those children were home-ed or not probably wouldn't make much difference to their behaviour.
So, again I'm not sure what your point is regarding home-ed.

aloha · 05/09/2007 12:53

"I'm not saying that all parents who send their dc's to school are like this"

Hulababy · 05/09/2007 12:58

I agree with others.

Sorry OPer, this is nothing to do with HE and school ed children. This is happening bcause a minority of parent sin your area are not looking after their children properly. You have just got horrid neighbours by the sounds of it.

And I was quite by your last statement. Hmmm - I would imagine that all the parents on MN are interested in their children!!! As are most parents in real life, it is just that minority, like those you are experiencing, who aren't.

Hulababy · 05/09/2007 13:01

My DD, I don't believe, would want to be HEd. She loves her little school, and adores being in class with her friends and teachers - and probably enjoys having that time away from me too at times, lol

HEd may be the solution to your situation, but it does not mean it is right for everyone and every child.

LIZS · 05/09/2007 13:15

This seems unnecessarily vitriolic towards those who choose not to HE and their parenting. I wonder if your dc's do any activities to develop social circles outside of HE. It may be they find little in common with school educated kids (fair enough) and have no easy rapport. However those examples you cite , while unpleasant, could come from all walks of the community however they are educated.

Bikermum · 05/09/2007 21:11

Hi Singingmum
Totally agree with you.
Also would like to know why so many parents who have nothing to do with HE'ing are the HOME EDUCATING section and if they don't like our views why not sod off!

Hulababy · 05/09/2007 21:12

The HE section of MN is not just for those who are actively HEding, but for anyone interested in the thread topic surely?!

Bikermum · 05/09/2007 21:21

Hulababy

Fair enough but it does seem like some people come on this section just to criticise and not have any other interest in HE,ing!

juuule · 05/09/2007 22:05

I home-ed 4 of my children. I still don't think that singingmum's op has anything to do with HE as others have also said. If you can see the connection, Bikermum, then perhaps you could enlighten me.

juuule · 05/09/2007 22:10

I'm also not sure where anyone has criticised home-ed on this thread

Bikermum · 05/09/2007 23:17

Juuule,
Don't you think that Home Educated children tend to be better behaved and brought up because they have parents who are guiding them in the right way rather than letting schools do the job, I know that not all school educated children are badly behaved but the ones that are come from parents who seem to think it is the schools job to teach them right from wrong so come the 6 weeks holiday all hell breaks loose! You are perhaps lucky enough not to live near these sort of people if you did you would understand what we are saying. Hope you feel enlightened!(hmm)

TooTicky · 05/09/2007 23:32

Perhaps it's just that some parents who guide their children in the right way HE and some don't.

aloha · 05/09/2007 23:49

It is plain DAFT to compare all home educated children with all school educated children. Home educated children are tiny weeny minority - between 0.09% and 0.42% of school population!
The 99.1% of children who go to school come from every type of background and they include every type of child from deeply dutiful A* swots to feckless criminals in waiting.
It is idiotic to say that school makes children into monsters.

juuule · 06/09/2007 07:16

"You are perhaps lucky enough not to live near these sort of people if you did you would understand what we are saying."
That's a bit patronising, Bikermum. I live near a major city. The secondary school some of my children attend has 1500+ pupils. We have our share of 'wild' children in the area. However, I wouldn't say that their behaviour is purely down to going to school. And there are plenty of well-mannered children who attend school. So yes I think I do understand what you are saying and it doesn't make sense.
Also, as Aloha says, it's a difficult comparison to make given the difference in numbers between school children and home-ed children.

Blandmum · 06/09/2007 07:27

There are also children who have been de-regestered (to to prressure from the schools, wrongly IMHO) because of their antisocial behavior.

These children are called HEdded, But in fact are really not being educated at all.

This is a way of schools getting rounf long exclusion policies. The parents of the children are not entusuastic home edders, but parents who very often cannot control their children, who are left to roam the streets and cause mayhem. Estimates are that these may make up to 25% of the HE community.

And before anyony else say it, yes, i think the schools are wrong in this.

But the rioting child in the street mat well be technically a HE child.

juuule · 06/09/2007 08:10

MB do you know that as a fact? 25% of home-ed children only 'claiming' to home-ed?

fartmeistergeneral · 06/09/2007 08:20

Wow!! The superiority of singingmum's posts is overwhelming!

Dare I suggest that the kids on your estate are just being kids? Running around, screaming, crying, bit of fighting, kicking their heels - bored, playing loudly, shouting across at each other???

LOVE that your kids are so perfect!! Bless their little home educated socks.

Hulababy · 06/09/2007 09:58

Was coming on to make similar point to MB. Yet again MB says it far better than I could have

TigerFeet · 06/09/2007 10:06

So if we all home educated our children then there would be no kids roaming the streets? Is that what you are saying?

DD is not school age yet but when she is she will be going to school. I do not have the money, temperament or the will to stay at home and educate her myself. Of course if she is unhappy at school and it can't be resolved I will look at it again, but my hope is that she gets into the school we want for her and she will be happy there. I resent being branded as uncaring because this is what I want for my dd. She will still be taught right from wrong and how to behave well, by us as well as (hopefully!) by the school. She will not be a nuisance when not at school (I hope anyway, if she is it will be despite my best efforts).

Surely, there are HE children out there who play up when not being taught. Don't they ever go out and play, make a noise, occasionally cause trouble etc etc???

Bikermum · 06/09/2007 10:39

So what you are saying is that it is acceptable and the norm for kids to be complete little arses and that is just kids being kids to bully,damage property,and being gobby little ferrel brats, well thats not my idea of a well brought up kid and with these attitudes its not surprising that school holiday times are a pain for the rest of us. And I still can't believe how many non HE parents are on this section, some of you haven't experienced school life yet, so I suggest you go and have a look on sites that you are more suited to!

juuule · 06/09/2007 10:47

How on earth have you arrived at that conclusion, Bikermum. Are you reading the posts on this thread? Nobody has said it's okay for children to " bully,damage property,and being gobby little ferrel brats" as far as I have read.

donnie · 06/09/2007 10:48

the trouble with the title of this thread is that is draws a distinction between home educated children and all other children.It basically says 'thank God kids are back at school and away from my home educated kids'.

Home educated kids are no different from any others. Stop being so patronising and superior.