Are there any benefits of Primary school that HE can't usually provide?

[carolinecordery]

Hello all, I haven't registered my DD for Reception, which she would be eligible to start in September.
I was just wondering if you thought there were any benefits of primary school that HE can't provide. What things are good about primary school that are only available through attending?
I'm planning to HE and am convinced of the benefits of doing so, but want a rounded picture. It's easy to think of loads of things that would be, relatively, a bit crap about primary school, but is there ANY really good reason to go? DD's non-resident dad would rather she went.
Thanks, Caroline

Oh, and for there to be an anti he consensus, the
Majority of post would have had to be anti. They haven't been!

At the end of the day every school is different. Every child is different. All us parents are different. What works for one does not always work for the next person.

But we all have one thing in common and that is we all have the enormous task of bringing up our children so they can go on and, hopefully, lead happy fulfilling lives. Whether that be placing a child in school or HE-ing is entirely down to the parents.

With one in school and one HE I can see both sides of all the opinions expressed on here. :)

Yes, we want to know:

How long you were HE'd
Was it from the start
We're you ever in school and when and was it successful
What HE methods did your parents use
Are you a successful and happy adult
Did you receive any qualifications during HE or was that at school
Do you think you've underperfomed academically or socially
Has HE made you bitter?

P.S. I am trying to be friends...

I think that she has explained why she doesn't want to answer the questions-probably very sensibly.

Why does home education have to occupy some sacred space where it can't be challenged, questioned or even- heaven forfend- remotely criticised!

This is really the only thing I have against it. Anything else can be questioned. I suppose the other thing-only from a few- is that in an ideal world all children would be HE because it is the best start in life for them. I don't happen to think this.

I regularly argue with one particular person about selective education -I don't agree with it. She isn't in the least threatened by this because she is 100% certain it is the right thing and will happily debate it in a good natured way.
We don't get into taking it all so personally.

Sorry-I must take that back-I have just realised that with someone else on the subject of selective education my post was deleted for the first and only time-and so was her reply!

Perhaps education in general is a sticky subject!

I was home schooled by mum for a year and did extremely well, far better than I did when I finally went back to school (which was still considered above average) but I was utterly miserable. I had no friends, I had no social interaction with people my own age and when I did meet other children I was incredibly uncomfortable and unsure of myself. Now I know other home schooled children however who often socialize with children educated in the same way and think it is some compromise- however I would never do it for my own children. Academically it can be brilliant, but school is about so much more.

Exotic fruits, she asked me - not you - if I wanted her to add anything so I did. I don't think she needs defending or are you insisting a them v us in all aspects of this thread?

Lastofthepodpeople. I know your dh is working really hard and I appreciate what you are saying. I personally don't have any problems with teachers per se. I am pretty recently qualified myself though and don't think I am very academic and also found it easy to pass, so I don't agree with your difficult criteria statement. I do think some teachers do a good job with the resources they have. However, the issues I have with schools in general are obviously affected by the fact the teacher delivers the lessons and is mostly responsible for dds school life. As I said before I see teachers as being part of the problem, not the solution. And for this reason my dd is out. (soon, anyway) I don't mean to be nasty to you and I hope your dh has a good school and his efforts are appreciated by the schooled population.

I think if Seeker posts her details here it's like laying open those details to scrutiny when it's her private life that she (justifiably) wants to keep private; that's how I'd feel.

I also asked her if she could put her experiences on here-several people did. She declined and gave reasons.

I am not defending- but I think her question was rhetorical-or that is how I read it.

Sorry, I just realised I posted that on completely the wrong thread. My apologies, didn't mean to hijack.

Godallfuckingmighty! I give up on this thread I really do. It's just petty fucking bickering and point scoring and I don't feel that anything is being achieved at all.

I am sadly aware that I contributed to that by snapping at exotic in a childish and unreasonable way, so I can't hold any moral high ground.

I'm really interested to hear both points of view because I am constantly assessing, reassessing and evaluating what I'm doing with DD and whether that's the best thing for her at this time. I value all the different points of view but honestly some people just seem entirely focussed on arguing the toss with others rather than actually contributing.

Seeker I'm going to say it here for the last time and PM you the same, despite you ignoring me completely. I would be very interested to hear your experiences of HE. Whether or not they have already been covered by posts on this thread is irrelevant to me; I am interested in hearing the experiences of someone who was actually HE, not the projected experiences of people who haven't been HE. I don't think that HE is all wonderful and school is all crap. Very far from it. I constantly question whether I'm doing the right thing for my DD. I would not judge you, question the validity of your feelings or contradict your opinions. It baffles me that you would not even acknowledge my request with a 'no I'd rather not thanks'. If you would be so kind as to respond to this or a PM, my response would be a simple 'thank you, you have helped me understand how my DD may feel in the future'. That's all.

And with that, I'm off. What a fucking shame that something that could be useful to people on both sides of the argument just turns into a bitch-fest.

Hi all! I'm the OP!
I am astonished at how big this thread got, particularly as I've only ever started about five and am not experienced with forums.
I have only just managed to finish reading to the end. First, I would like to say to nfk that my post certainly was not designed to provoke a fight and that I did respond with thanks after the first few replies came in. I haven't been able to keep up with reading the whole thing since then to input any more.
In amongst 'everything' there has been some really useful information for me as a beginning home educator. For me, the points that have really stuck out are:
Yes, a nice primary school probably would provide certain opportunities and facilities for my DC that I probably won't end up offering them in their HE. I'm OK with this because I'm happy that a decent education is made up of SOME of the very many activities available to children- local schools will choose some and me and the DC may choose some of the same, and also others the schools won't be doing.
Primary school provides these and other opportunities and facilities for free and without effort from me while I will have to pay for similar and make more effort to provide these in their HE. I think this was a very important point to have very clear in my head from the outset.
I have become a bit concerned, where I wasn't before, about the sibling relationship (my DC 3 years 11 months, and 14 months). I do want them to have time apart, I want to have time individually with the two of them, and I want them both to be going to places and spending their time in ways that are appropriate to their ages. Saracen's description of HE with 2 different age groups was helpful here. I'm sure there are other threads I can search for that discuss this specifically.
I would like to read more in depth about socialisation and social life of children; comparing school social life with HE social life. I know my own experience of secondary school was that it was purely a social adventure. I didn't need to work hard to pass my exams. I learned well how to flirt, snog, chat, have a laugh, and didn't like holidays where I couldn't see 'everyone' (mainly the top 3 boys on the list). I don't remember primary school being that important in terms of friendships- friendships for me really took on importance at age 11-12.
To reiterate, the point of my OP was to ask home educators ( I did initially expect responses from them) if they thought primary school was good for anything. I guess I was thinking, and should have said, good primary schools. Although I have done a lot of reading about HE and have decided to do it for Reception year (taking it year by year but could see myself going the whole way if DC are into it), I wanted to be able to have an answer for DD's non-resident dad when he says 'what about x,y,z?'. After this thread, i feel confident that I say 'Yes she will miss out on x but that's OK. X is not essential.'

Sorry Caroline, it did rather get hijacked - which it shouldn't. I think the problem was that some people think you miss things and some that you don't.

Anyway - I think there is a lot to be said for starting school the continental way at 6 /7yrs and that gives you time to see how it goes. Good luck with it all.

Thanks Exotic xx

In retrospect DS2 might of been better at home because he is August birthday. As it was he stayed in the nursery attached to the school and started when he was 5 yrs - but that was straight into year 1. A big disadvantage with schools is that they are not very flexible on dates - keeping him back a year would have been the ideal.

What difference do you think it made going straight into Year 1?

Yes, we want to know:

How long you were HE'd
I was HEd until I was 15

Was it from the start
Yes

We're you ever in school and when and was it successful
I was in school from 15 to 18. Not sure what you mean by successful- I achieved very highly academically and made lifelong friends. But there were things that I found very difficult, and had to work very hard at- working in a group, doing stuff to a deadline, accommodating other people's ways of working - I took these difficulties with me into the world of work, and struggled with them for some time, even though I was outwardly very successful indeed, both academically and career wise.

What HE methods did your parents use
They were autonomous home educators before the term had been invented

Are you a successful and happy adult
Yes

Did you receive any qualifications during HE or was that at school
No- I took O and A levels at school, and graduate and post graduate qualifications at university

Do you think you've underperfomed academically or socially
. Academically I was streets ahead of my peers. Socially I had a lot of catching up/learning to do, but I did it without any huge trauma

Has HE made you bitter?
Not even slightly- probably the opposite.

Thank you very much seeker, I'm very grateful that you took the time to reply. It's given me a lot to think about - lots to feel relieved about and some things to worry about. I'm glad that, on the whole, it was a positive experience. :)

They weren't the questions I would have asked me, though!

Are you going to honour me with some sort of response?

What questions would you have asked you, seeker?

Very long time lurker here: Seeker, if you don't mind me asking, why did your parents decide to HE you? I'm really interested to know how they decided to do it, and how they found out about it was possible. Thanks.

Sorry Caroline-I had gone to bed.
The difference in going in in year 1 was really the same as going into reception as a 4 year old when the vast majority were older. In his day he would have started after Easter, mornings only, and the school suggested he was better staying in the nursery- which I agreed with. It would be far worse now that they all start in September and he would have been just 4 years - so I may well have kept him at home until year 1 or possibly year 2. I'm not sure - reception is all learning through play now.
They are not easy decisions - I asked the question about different age groups because if I had done this my youngest would never have got time alone with me in the way the older 2 did. Someone mentioned taking older DCs to toddler groups with a book, but my very good toddler group decided they didn't even want any DCs over 3 years and so we couldn't go for DS3.
Ideally I would have liked DS2 to have started reception after his 5th birthday and been a year behind all the way through - it wouldn't have mattered- he was less than a week older than a neighbour's child who had the whole extra year.
Maybe one day schools will become more flexible.
I think that you just need to keep reviewing it all the time - make decisions for the moment, but accept that they might change. Make friends with DCs at school so that it isn't 'them v us'.