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Original poster

Are there any benefits of Primary school that HE can't usually provide?

613 replies

carolinecordery · 03/06/2012 19:52

Hello all, I haven't registered my DD for Reception, which she would be eligible to start in September.
I was just wondering if you thought there were any benefits of primary school that HE can't provide. What things are good about primary school that are only available through attending?
I'm planning to HE and am convinced of the benefits of doing so, but want a rounded picture. It's easy to think of loads of things that would be, relatively, a bit crap about primary school, but is there ANY really good reason to go? DD's non-resident dad would rather she went.
Thanks, Caroline

OP posts:
seeker · 09/06/2012 16:50

"seeker....its the general consensus of this whole thread....esp from those who put their children into school."

No it isn't! I don't think a single person on this thread has said, or implied that it is wrong to choose HE!

nelehluap · 09/06/2012 17:00

Agree to disagree then because you only have to skim over this thread to read such negativity about HE all of which comes from those who don't HE. But hey ho, those that do HE are doing a might fine job of it I salute you all for sticking up for what you believe in. :)

teacherwith2kids · 09/06/2012 17:01

neleh,

I currently have children in school, and I don't think that I have anywhere in this thread stated that choosing to HE is wrong (has anyone said it?).

There have been many very sensible contributors (both HE and school parents) who have put forward the view that the relative merits of each depend on the family, the child and the available school at a given point in time.

And there have been some interesting views on what the merits and issues could potentially be of each approach - always bearing in mind that those merits and issues will depend very much on the individual.

I agree that this thread has occasionally become nasty in tone - mainly when a comment has been made which "paints everyone with the same brush". It is not true in all schools that a child who wants to do well is labelled a geek - DD is in school, wants to do well, wears immaculate uniform, and is extremely popular in her school. That does not make your experience 'wrong' and mine 'right', it just shows that schools vary, and means that 'that's school for you' is an inappropriate generalisation. 'That was my daughter's school for you' would have been absolutely accurate and a completely reasonable comment to make.

Equally, I know from experience that HE families vary very widely - from wholly autonomous to extremely structured and everywhere in between - and therefore any 'broad brush' comment is likely to cause offence, which is why I was careful in my post to say 'absolutely purist autonomous HE' (which it is clear is a small subset of the total) rather than any comment which implied that it covered all HE families.

morethanpotatoprints · 09/06/2012 17:02

Both me and my Dh went to school, albeit he received a far grander education than I did. I don't think that having to do things we didn't want to had any bearing on how we are as adults. In our working lives there have been avenues we could have taken that would have brought us both (individually) great wealth, a decent pension, better standard of life. etc. But as it was what neither of us wanted we stuck out for what was important to us. We could both see that we would have to do things we didn't want to do to achieve the above. So having the attitude of not doing these undesirable things we have both been succesful in achieving self actualisation and satisfaction with our lives. Answer that and be fashionable!!!!

Sirzy · 09/06/2012 17:03

So show the posts (in full!) which are saying nobody should HE.

Discussing cons of it isn't saying that nobody should do it.

nkf · 09/06/2012 17:05

Schools vary and so does home education. But there are some things that some schools do well. That's what the original post was about. There are, I'm sure, many many things that HE does well, better than schools. I think the OP was just looking for reassurance that her child wasn't missing out on something. Chances are there are things but that's life isn't it? You can't have any of the good things about schools if you home educate or the good things about home education if your children go to school.

exoticfruits · 09/06/2012 17:05

but Seeker I really would find it valuable to hear about your experiences of the pros and cons of being HE. If you've talked about it before and can't be arsed to go through it again, maybe a link to that thread?

I have realised that seeker was HEed as a DC, but I don't recall ever hearing about the experience. Could you tell us what you liked and didn't like about it?

The most valuable thing is hearing from the HEed DCs themselves. On the few occasions I have seen interviews on TV or read an account I have been very impressed. I think it is mainly because they are refreshing-they have no axe to grind and nothing to prove, so they stick to the merits of the experience and are able to mention any downsides (not that they generally appear to have many). They don't mention school-and they just discuss why it suits them. They don't have to justify it in any way.

seeker · 09/06/2012 17:07

"Agree to disagree then because you only have to skim over this thread to read such negativity about HE all of which comes from those who don't HE"

This is just not true. And very unfair.

teacherwith2kids · 09/06/2012 17:09

neleh - is it perhaps that it might be possible to read this thread being sensitive to any possible anti-HE comments and thus take it one way, to read it being sensitive to anti-school generalisations and take it another, and to read it without any particular sensitivities and to see a balance of both views? (Always bearing in mind that the OP was about benefits of school that HE can't provide, so the first posts in particular might focus on those)

I mean, I could pull a number of 'anti school' generalisations as quotations out of context, and indicate that this is an anti-school thread. Equally, you could pull a number which come across as anti-HE. There was a very good post somewhere in the middle which said that of course we argue strongly for the choices we have made ourselves - it's human nature, if we didn't feel like that we wouldn't have made those choices. Could it also be that we are also more sensitive to points which are made against ourr own choices and do not register those which agree with us to quite the same degree?

Standing on the fence here, as have a foot in both camps....

nelehluap · 09/06/2012 17:10

teacher - I didn't actually say HE was wrong?...where have I said that?
I have merely said that those that don't HE have provided some very negative (and quite honestly incorrect) comments about HE.

Those that don't HE seem so keen to bash those that do. Presumably you have all HE your own kids at some point in order to be such experts at relentlessly criticise it?

nelehluap · 09/06/2012 17:12

I should've said that I haven't actually quoted anyone as stating HE was wrong????

teacherwith2kids · 09/06/2012 17:18

Neleh,

I have not relentlessly criticised HE - could you possibly point to a post where I have done so?

I don't want to endlessly repeat my personal history as I have posted it earlier on this thread, but yes, I have HEd my DS, and my children are now both in primary school.

Which is why I am surprised that you see me as relentlessly critical? It does, again, feel like a 'painting all with one brush' type of statement?

I will say it again - I believe that both school and HE can provide education suitable to an individual child's interests and aptitudes, as the law requires and is their right. Both can be done well, both can be done less well. Depending on the school, the family and the child, the balance of benefits of each approach will indicate which is most appropriate at a particular point in time.

seeker · 09/06/2012 17:20

"Those that don't HE seem so keen to bash those that do. Presumably you have all HE your own kids at some point in order to be such experts at relentlessly criticise it?"

Please quote some bashing? I am so fed up with this. Why does home education have to occupy some sacred space where it can't be challenged, questioned or even- heaven forfend- remotely criticised!

The only bashing on this thread has been of school education, and by extension, those that choose to use it. But that's all right- "schoolies" are fair game. Because if we actually cared about our children or wanted to spend time with them, or were at all engaged with their education, then we would HE.

Sirzy · 09/06/2012 17:21

It would appear that anyone who posts something that is slightly negative is being "relentlessly critical" according to neleh, which is a shame as it is getting to a point again where debate is stopped by people who can't accept others views as well.

Nobody has said HE is bad. Most people are more than aware there are pros and cons of both. Discussing cons doesn't mean you don't agree with it or think nobody should do it. What is a con for one family could also be a pro for another

seeker · 09/06/2012 17:25

And as for me talking about my experience as an adult who was home educated, I really can't see the point. Everyone on this thread knows about the fantastic benefits of he- I would only be repeating them. The were a few downsides for me, but they are all things which I or others have mentioned already and which have been dismissed. In fact, my mentioning them has resulted in me being called an anti HE advertisement, and a HE basher!

Colleger · 09/06/2012 17:27

And so seeker continues to remain silent about her HE experience, so not entering into a constructive and conducive debate. We all genuinely want to know - not to pick holes, but so that you can offer real support which is something you seem to wish to do, eventhough it is not coming across that way?

And if you continue not to engage then why not and why should we then view any of your posts as valuable? Confused

teacherwith2kids · 09/06/2012 17:34

Trying to put myself in seeker's shoes here - I can quite see that she might not feel that this thread, at this moment, is somewhere where she wants to post her personal history and views in full. A long thread in which everyone has got rather prickly and adopted rather entrenched positions at times is not a comfortable place for such self-exposure...

Another time and place, perhaps?

nelehluap · 09/06/2012 17:34

I put 'general consensus'. I did not single anyone out. Perhaps you should read my posts correctly.

Sirzy · 09/06/2012 17:38

But that is far from the general consensus isn't it. You have been unable to show all of these people who are saying HE is bad and are looking for things which really aren't there.

teacherwith2kids · 09/06/2012 17:41

Neleh,

Then I shall put forward my own hypothesis for investigation:

Nobody on this thread has been relentlessly critical of HE.

If none of the individuals have been citical, then it would indicate that the general consensus cannot be negative.

Lastofthepodpeople · 09/06/2012 17:43

I can't comment on HE as no experience but I'd like to put in my two cents on the work teachers put in.
DH is doing the PGCE course i.e. teacher in training. He gets up at 5.30 to get to school to prepare for the day, and then comes home and works late often until 11pm most nights to prepare lessons, do marking, coursework etc. He also works at least one day on the weekend doing this.
To someone outside, it might look as if he's only doing a few lessons a day and leaving school at 3.30 but he works long hours at home outside that.
He's also going to be working doing summer courses and we've just worked out that he's going to get five days off in total during the 'six weeks holiday'.
I work in finance in an area known for its long hours and I'm not doing anything like the hours he is.
I know there are a number of people on his course not expected to pass because the criteria for getting the qualification is very high.
Perhaps in the past the rule was that those who can't do teach, but it's certainly not the case anymore.

nkf · 09/06/2012 17:44

There hasn't been any general attack on HE. Can't see anything that I would consider an attack. People have suggested that schools provide certain things. Fair enough. That's what the OP asked for.

nkf · 09/06/2012 17:46

Though I expect it was just one of those OPs designed to provoke a fight. After all, plenty of people have posted some benefits of primary school and there has been zero response. A simple thank you always works for me.

Colleger · 09/06/2012 17:52

Lastofthepodpeople, your partner's experience is exactly why I don't want my child in school. He is overworked and then having to deal with 30 kids. How can anyone be on peak form to look after such a class?

seeker · 09/06/2012 17:55

Collager- I will take no lessons from you on constructive debate. As I said, every downside to HE I I have mentioned on this thread are either from my own experience or from the experience of members of my family. I also rexognize all the benefits similarly. What would you like me to add?