Are there any benefits of Primary school that HE can't usually provide?

[carolinecordery]

Hello all, I haven't registered my DD for Reception, which she would be eligible to start in September.
I was just wondering if you thought there were any benefits of primary school that HE can't provide. What things are good about primary school that are only available through attending?
I'm planning to HE and am convinced of the benefits of doing so, but want a rounded picture. It's easy to think of loads of things that would be, relatively, a bit crap about primary school, but is there ANY really good reason to go? DD's non-resident dad would rather she went.
Thanks, Caroline

I'm not saying that either are "better" - just that being in that particular environment means that games with school friends are MUCH louder, more confrontational, more appealing to "grown ups". It's good for DS as he gets to expend lots of energy and has experience of fighting and making up. But it's much more restful for me when HE friends are over!

Maybe because your children have more shared experience with their HE friends, and not with their school going friends?

Rude? You called me silly and it's not the first time you've called others derogatory terms.

Aside from the fact that they don't go to school, I don't think that's true - we all educate differently, have different sized families, are from different nationalities and backgrounds. DS has more in common with his school friends in a way - they are all into football, the same Lego toys and tv programmes. It's very interesting watching different interactions, but I don't read much into it, you never know what's down to personalities after all.

I didn't call you silly. I said you made a silly generalisation. And if you can find any example of me calling anyone a derogatory term I will give 10 quid to a charity of your choice.

Actually, looking back, I may have indirectly called you silly. But only in respect of the generalisation in question. And I should have made sure that the silly was definitely attached to the generalisation, not to you. Which is what I meant. And it hardly measures up to calling someone an anti HE advertisement, does it. The offer of £10 to charity stands.

Motatschool- the emotional intelligence thing is interesting. My ds has been incredibly emotionally intelligent since birth- (I exaggerate slightly). Whereas it's been a bit of a learning curve for dd- she is more or less there now at 16. Interestingly, if I had had to HE either of them, it would probably have been ds-he was born knowing a lot of what I think is important about school, while dd needed the constant practice and interaction. But he would have hated it- he just loves the whole business of school- and she would have loved it, but it wouldn't have been good for her.

NonAstemia I can relate to your post. My son has autism and ADHD and emotional literacy is an area where he has huge deficits. Two schools ignored this and he had no support for it whatsoever, despite professional recommendations and countless incidents that demonstrated his poor grasp and emotional control. With HE we've been able to work out a programme that supports and teaches him and he's made incredible progress, though he still has a lot of problems. If he'd stayed in school he would have just slipped further and further down the greasy pole, and I wasn't prepared to let that happen. He was a gibbering wreck by the time we deregistered .

The main thing I'm seeing in this thread is that school is great for those it works for, HE is great for those it works for, but neither side is without significant disadvantages. Neither option is suitable for everyone and children's needs vary, as do the environments in which they are taught. There are great schools and crap ones, great home educators and crap ones. We would be foolish to generalise in favour of either option.

I'm with Marjoriew on the whole - I do what I do for my own reasons and few people who have not been in my shoes would understand why, but I know it's right for my family because I see the results and know how harmed my son was by school and how well he's doing now. If either of the schools my son attended had given even adequate support he'd probably still be in that system, but it just didn't work for him despite enormous effort on my part to make it happen. I don't feel the need for the deeper discussion some posters would like to see because frankly I'm done with it and it never goes anywhere. Perhaps that's why so few of us are keen to engage in thrashing it out yet again - it's been done to death.

We all speak from our own experiences and those who promote school education surely have excellent provision for their children or they wouldn't feel so strongly that school is the better choice. Same goes for home educators. I'm genuinely pleased for those of you who have good schools for your children but it isn't like that for all of us. Even the OP's question was flawed because you can't generalise a comparison between ALL primary schools and ALL forms of home education. Every situation is unique and it's hard to compare one person's experience with another's.

Very true, streakybacon. I have, what I consider to be excellent, provision for my own DCs and I just wouldn't consider any of the schools that are derided on here - they come under my -'over my dead body' definition.
I think that LEAs differ amazingly and unfortunately it seems to be 'a post code lottery' whereas they should follow the directions on the Govdirect website where it is merely one of the choices parents can make. My friend's LEA is very good- probably because there are a lot of HEers- and I tend to assume it is the norm, but obviously it isn't.
I have nothing against HE as an equal choice. Where it annoys me ( I know it is irrational and it shouldn't) is where you get the ridiculous statement that HE kids are more emotionally intelligent or that 99% of HE is good and only 1% bad.
In any type of education the intention is to be good. Heads of schools, teachers and HEing parents don't sit back and say 'anything for a lazy life we don't need to bother'. They are all working hard, it just doesn't work for a multitude of different reasons. I can't possible put a percentage on either, but I would say it is like anything- the bulk of schools and parents will be average and doing a perfectly adequate job at educating their DCs and that many will be above that and doing a good or excellent job and then there will be those below who may not be doing a bad job but could certainly do better.
Everyone makes their own choice about education based on their income, the personality and needs of their DC, the area they live in and their personal philosophy- not necessarily in that order. There is no 'right answer'- what is right for one DC is wrong for another. It is very similar for any parenting - we are all different and so are children.
I am not intending to come out against HE - just the idea that it is best for all and that my DCs will be institutionalised at school and would be more emotionally intelligent at home.

I just think that when it comes to opinion, we ALL think we're right , often to the point of evangelising and trying to convert others. If we didn't we'd change our ways and do things differently. I think that's been visible in this thread, from both sides, and it's understandable that school educators with successful and appropriate provision would promote that as the better option, while home educators who are seeing good results would do the same. But there are serious flaws in both, and I have seen educational and personal neglect on either side of the divide.

When your own choice works well for you and yours, it's hard to imagine how bad it can be for others. We all base our opinions on personal experience and if we haven't experienced the serious problems that some have had, it's very difficult to relate and understand why those people might choose a different route.

On that note, I'm not sure I'd agree that everyone is trying to do a good job. My son's first school was a real high-flyer academically but the Head simply didn't want children with SNs in her school and went out of her way to avoid supporting them (this isn't only my experience but it was common knowledge, both in the school and more widely throughout the LEA). Sure her aim was to 'do a good job' as far as academic achievement was concerned, but there was a price to pay for it. I know that would be hard to imagine for those people without experience of the SN system who might think that it's quite easy to get the necessary support for a child, but the true picture is often very different.

Incidentally, I'm a home educator of close on four years but I still agree with some of the comments made against us/them. I distance myself from the attitude that HE is better becauses it isn't always the case. But I have to add that not all home educators share this view and many have a very balanced opinion about school/HE. I can't bear the 'look how wonderful we are' band with their perceived superiority because their children don't go to school. And you've probably noticed that there are no 'average' children in home education as they're all such high-flyers .

Overall the kids and parents in HE are no different to those who go to school - some are clever, good, kind and sensible, well balanced and mature. Others are not, and most are an amalgam of different qualities at different levels. But you get that in both environments and the former are not the sole preserve of HE. As someone said upthread, children with certain skills will do well wherever they are educated, and onwards into adult life. A lot of how our children turn out is IMO down to personality and luck .

Why should you be annoyed by my opinion? I'm perfectly entitled to it - I have kids in and out of school and this is my experience. No one is attacking schools - I don't care about schools to attack them, I only care about my kids and supporting other home ed families or those considering home ed. I fundamentally believe that the school system is flawed eventhough I choose to engage with it. I believe lots of other things are flawed but I have to engage with these things too. Is home ed the perfect solution? For me, probably not, but there is nothing else available and it's not perfect because of who I am and who my children are, where we live, family dynamics, money etc. But for us, it's substantially better than any of the schools my kids have ever been in - and that's been a lot!

I wonderfully sensible post streakybacon- if everyone said the same I would keep off threads altogether- there would be nothing to say! I agree with everyword! I would even amend my statement on schools - I knew one like that about SN.

Purely out of curiosity, those who have a mix of HE and schooled children does that lead to other issues with regards to jealousy and effecting sibling relationships?

(honestly not meant to sound as negative as it possibly does, I actually think doing things that way shows a great level of understanding each child's individual needs)

I would very much like all my kids to be home educated but I respect their decisions. One is actually at boarding school so you couldn't get further from home ed. He's at a school that many, not all, could only dream of sending their kids too but I'd still rather he was home educated. He's not achieving his potential and he's not engaged but sees it as one big social holiday and he's convinced he couldn't get the same social interaction outside school, although he has no evidence of this! This son in particular is a conformist and very traditional in his outlook. He'd also very able and thinks his home ed sibling is a bit of a dunce ( he's not) so it will be interesting to see how School Boy copes when his younger brother gets A'levels before him!
If I had another child then I'd home ed from the start but because of their ages and school experiences the choice has had to be theres.

"Why should you be annoyed by my opinion? I'm perfectly entitled to it"

Of course you are. But you are not entitled to make personal attacks on others to support it.

Who have I personally attacked? Gosh, do you have a big chip on your shoulder or do you always view threads antagonistically?

"You are so pompous seeker. An advert to put one off home ed?!"

What has that comment got to do with the rest of my posts today? I thought we'd moved on? Maybe not...

Living proof that one size doesn't fit all colleger. Some DCs like to conform and some don't- there is nothing wrong with it.

So, you can say anything you like to anyone- but at midnight a line is drawn under it. You were rude to me and you accused me of making derogatory personal remarks about other people. But because that was yesterday I just have to take it?

I wonder how many He'rs are over on the school threads questioning people's choices about sending their children to school? Why do people who send their children to school feel the need to be here on the HE threads? Is it a real interest in how HE works or just an excuse to bitch at HErs? This sort of thread doesn't do much for people who are looking into the possibilities of HE or are already HE and want some advice about the different aspects of HE. I enjoy reading most of the threads here - gives me an insight into how other HErs live their lives, opens up new possibilities I hadn't yet thought of. I like reading about people who have taken their damaged kids out of crap schools and moved into the world of HE and how they have gone on from there. Why turn it into a war zone?

Having been mildly irritated by how the thread had turned into a series of bunfights, I then added to it by being rude to exotic. I've read back what I wrote and it was unneccesary and nasty. I apologise.

Well said marjoriew!

Nobody has bitched at HEers.

The OP asked for a rounded picture. She won't get that from people who are evangelical about either school based or home education alone. She might from both, and from people who are knowledgeable about both, and can see the benefits of both.

I think it's understandable people will have questions about an approach to education which is pretty different from the mainstream approach. I think it's a shame that some people from both sides have used that as an opportunity to bitch as that has detracted from what I have found an otherwise interesting discussion.

There is no such thing as a perfect education system, and it's good to see alternatives working for so many families who feel let down by the normal approach.

Thanks NonAstemia. I am here because I am on all education threads- it interests me. I have many a bun fight about selective education but only once I have I been told not to post- and we did see eye to eye later on.