Are there any benefits of Primary school that HE can't usually provide?

[carolinecordery]

Hello all, I haven't registered my DD for Reception, which she would be eligible to start in September.
I was just wondering if you thought there were any benefits of primary school that HE can't provide. What things are good about primary school that are only available through attending?
I'm planning to HE and am convinced of the benefits of doing so, but want a rounded picture. It's easy to think of loads of things that would be, relatively, a bit crap about primary school, but is there ANY really good reason to go? DD's non-resident dad would rather she went.
Thanks, Caroline

I thought more privately educated DCs gained entry to university. DS1 didn't come across a single HE student at university.

Or not to my knowledge.

I would certainly be interested to see the figures which suggest that more he children gain entry to university. Like has been said there are a lot of variables involved and to compare to the general population certainly wouldn't be a fair comparison as it wouldn't take into account those other factors.

Thinking about my last sentence it was silly to write it- I don't know. I doubt whether anyone does. There are no statistics.

Anyway I am off out - I am hoping to get some answers to my post of 7.05.

exotic To be fair, I did come across a few at Cambridge, but yes, you're right re private education as well. I suspect I may fall into Seeker's hands here, but again, the parental involvement and aspiration factor comes in there as well (i.e. if you're going to spend your money on your children's education then you probably value education quite highly). That is not to say, in any way, that parents who choose state dont value their children's education BUT I'd be surprised to find any HE'ers or parents of children in private schools who basically dont give a fuck what GCSEs their kids get or why would they be making the time/financial investment??

So

HE'ers- 100% "care factor"
Private schools : probably 90% care factor (so some will just do it cos it's what they do or are just so rich that they dont need to worry about GCSEs and stuff)
State schools: hard to say, 50%??

To those MNrs who seem to disapprove of HE. Unless you have experienced HE yourself with your own children and found it didn't suit for whatever reason then do not disapprove of it. You have absolutely no idea about HE, you have no idea WHY some of us HE, we all have our different reasons for doing so.

For example I have one child who is HE and the other who goes to school. Therefore I have both scenarios so I can talk from both sides of the fence. However that does not make me an expert on either case but what it does allow me to do is have a view which is a true and accurate view on both cases.

Unless you HE your children or have done so in the past I don't think your views on HE are at all helpful to anyone wishing to do so. You have your reasons for keeping your children in school and it appears to me the common thread in all the anti-HE posts is 'free childcare'...says it all really.

I don't think anyone disapproves of he, certainly not the posts I have seen, it's a very personal choice.

However, when people are posting things about schools then of course people are going to correct those views/post their own take on things. What exactly is wrong with that?

If someone posted that he children where sat and expected to work solidly for 2.5 hours he parents would rightly correct that misconception, therefore parents of children at school or with experience of schools have the right to do the same.

If you haven't tried it then don't knock it. Same goes with HE. And yes there are posts on here from those who do not HE who have nothing good to say about it. Precisely my point.

So basically your saying nobody can say anything remotely negative about HE? Why not? Do you really expect everyone to agree with everything without question?

You seem to have missed my point about when people post things that are incorrect about schools do people not have a right to correct them?

Also, if the OP is looking for any benefits of primary school vs HE, then what's the point in asking people who have never had their children in school for any length of time, or who are presumably now HEing because of a bad experience with schools. That's somewhat of a skewed sample.

No, I'm not saying that you cannot have an anti-HE view...everyone has the right to an opinion but I'm suggesting that the views on HE should ideally come from those who have experienced it, that's all. It's all too easy for those who have NOT tried something to jump on the bandwagon and slate it.

Yes I have read comments on here about schools....but each school is different therefore everyones opinions on schools are different. Each child is different. Each parent is different. And each and every way of carrying out HE is different. We are ALL different.

...but if you don't know about a particular subject fully then don't comment on it. Simple. Would I ask someone who knows absolutely nothing about HE their views on it? No, of course I wouldn't.

That's daft the only way people learn things is to question, to say those with no experience of he can't question achieves what exactly?

Not all views on any topic will be positive, but if someone is secure in their choices they will be able to respond to that without telling people they have no right to comment

I have briefly popped back-no answer to my question yet.

This thread was an all time record-I made 2 posts before someone said that only HEers should reply. I will say it again-MN is open to all-male, female, all ages and you don't even have to have a child. We can all have an opinion.
If you want a cosy little chat room where you can make statements like 'a 5yr old sits still for 2.5 hours' without being challenged-then don't choose MN!

They mix with all ages in school. I did one class where year 1 got a reading buddy from year 6 once a week-lovely for both. I went to another school where one morning a week the whole school mixes up on projects of their choice and it is an all age thing-if they want to do puppet making it can work well with infants and juniors.
In the playground they have 'playground friends' where the older ones help the younger one with friendships.

Many schools are getting more freedoms these days-they don't stay still.

We keep getting told we don't know why you HE and then you get all defensive and won't tell us anyway!

No one has yet told me how I could benefit my family situation better than school.

.but if you don't know about a particular subject fully then don't comment on it. Simple.

That cuts out just about everyone from making any comment on MN! They may be expert-you can still throw in a question to make them think. Most people would welcome it. It is very dangerous to think-I have all the answers-no one does.

But neleh, the main premise behind HE is that you don't NEED to know a subject in depth in order to teach it.

What concerns me is that people should make informed decisions. And a parent considering HE for the first time would get a completely false view of school education from HE threads. And, I respectfully suggest, an over rosy view of HE.

This thread is relatively short- but even so, many myths about school education have been stated as fact with no supporting evidence- the one about 5 year olds having to sit still for 2.5 hours at a time in a state primary school is a case in point. Schools are represented as Lord of the Flies type institutions, where bullying is rife, children are restricted to a narrow constrained curriculum badly taught by illiterate incompetent teachers, and individualism and creativity is ruthlessly stamped out by staff and pupils alike.

While HE is represented as a stroll through the sunlit uplands of learning with crowds of like minded individuals ( and, obviously, lots of unlike minded ones to add balance and to enable learning about dealing with incompatible people) doing science in kitchen labs and learning languages from the internet followed by effortless slotting in to to universities, colleges and workplaces with or without conventional qualifications.

Neither of these characterisations are true. I choose to send my children to school. There is lots I don't like about school, and lots I do like about HE, but for me the scales tipped towards school.

I just wish that HE ers were more prepared to present a warts and all picture. It would help parents make proper choices, and would make discussion more interesting!

I don't think that DS1 could have done a science subject at university level without his teacher having 'in depth' knowledge!

One benefit of school is that teachers are constantly questioned. Lessons are observed by the Head, the deputy, subject leaders, governors - you get feed back - what was good and what could be improved. Parents certainly question you - favourite time the end of the school day. Parents are often in the lesson a d they can observe.
As a supply teacher I took a notebook around and wrote down any good ideas I found. There are constant staff meetings to improve things.

A good teacher is happy with that- you constantly question yourself.

The parent gets none of this - put in a mild suggestion of where they could improve and it is taken a criticism. The overall impression is that they know best for their DCs - I am not that confident.

Exotic, the end of your last post coukd be written in reverse. I know very few teachers who woukd listen to a parent tell them how the coukd improve and not take it as a criticism, and very few teachers who do not consider themselves as knowing best for the child in question.

OK. Why do I HE? I've not heard anyone ask me that yet. Because my DD1 was severely bullied at school, and I mean severely. She was bullied at a junior school when she was in Year 5, so we moved schools. She had two fantastic years at another junior school. She was then bullied again, over a few weeks, when she went into senior school and in Year 8. The first lot of bullying was from a boy who was the same age as her, yes 10yrs old, who sexually harrassed her. It was nasty, cruel and left her in such a state I had to seek counselling. The boy was excluded from school but once he returned he went back to his old ways, so we moved schools.

The second bout of bullying was from a group of three girls, all of whom she was extremely good friends with, who found it amusing to belittle her, exclude her, injure her a total of three times (the last one being a burn), damage her belongings, refused to talk to her etc etc.....which resulted in a child desperately unhappy and verging on depression.

So after having spent the last year or so considering and researching HE and in order to 'save' my DD I removed her from school and now HE. I now have my very happy, bubbly, enthusiastic daughter back who I felt I lost touch with during those awful few months. Months which the school felt they could help us with and actually stated it was due to my DD1's sensitive nature that 'encouraged' the bullying.....

Why do I keep my youngest DD in school? Because she is happy, has a lovely group of friends and is academically doing brilliantly. I would not remove her from school unless we found ourselves in a situation whereby she became so unhappy, coming home with injuries and academically losing interest.

I am not a SAHM. I am self employed. I have a DH who works 60+ hours a week. So HE has to fit in around my work. Yes its a commitment but one I most definitely do not regret making. And, tbh, I'd far rather have happy kids who will look back on their childhood and have memories which make them smile. And, after all, like someone else posted on here...before we know it they'll have grown up and left home. Life is too short to be miserable. :)

It is a partnership Starlight - the parent knows the DC best - you would be silly not to listen. I have certainly spoken to teachers about mine- especially the dyslexic one - once you have established that you understand he is one of a class and you are realistic about what you hope for you can make improvements. As a teacher you know that some parents are loons! But you do need to listen, be polite and come to a solution.
I don't necessarily know what is best for the child - I only see them for a small portion of the day. We work together.

HE ers make an assumption that you hand your DC over- moan quietly and don't do anything!

Sounds very sensible - I'm sure that I would have done the same. I really am going out this time. Still waiting for a reply for my post of 7.05

We home ed our 2 kids. For us it works well, the kids enjoy it (for the most part). However I wouldn't recommend home ed for everyone in the same way I wouldn't recommend school for everyone.
Basically it boils down to the fact that one size doesn't fit all.

Both my Dh and I are more maths/science orientated and so I am very aware that at secondary school level I struggle with the English side of things. We have a tutor on a distance learning basis for English which means that if I am unsure we can email her. We have computer software that we use for languages and try to visit friends in countries that speak the language we are learning so that the kids get to hear and see the language in its own setting. I am unsure at the moment how we will develop this into a GCSE, but I have a couple of years to work on it.

The socialisation aspect does concern me, mostly because I am very introverted and find it difficult. However being in school didn't help me in that so I'm not convinced it is necessarily the best place for learning social skills. I do my best to let the kids invite who they want round here and when it leads to squabbles and they come running to me they generally get the response of "talk to each other and try to sort it out", I've noticed that they have started to not automatically defer to me in these situations now and will try to sort things between themselves.

Have I got it totally sorted? No, not by a long way. But I am trying to do what I see as my best for my children.

Sorry - very sensible was in reply to neheluap.

I'm not sure about this partnership thing exotic. It always seems to be on the school/teachers' terms, and largely focused on trying to engage harder to reach groups rather than those that can help improve outcomes for the kids.