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Original poster

Husband and I are going away for a week... how much to pay the babysitter?

394 replies

LondonLisa · 10/02/2010 12:02

My husband and I will be going on our first holiday away from our 22-month-old daughter. We have someone from her nursery staying with her for the 7 days we are away. This will mean the sitter will take our daughter home from nursery (6-ish) and stay all night and bring her to nursery the next day. Repeat. This will also overlap 2 weekends.
Any idea what fair pay would be? I don't want to skimp but I also don't want to be... ostentatious, if that makes sense.
We usually pay this sitter £8/hr if that helps.
Any suggestions are appreciated.

OP posts:
rainbowinthesky · 10/02/2010 21:39

Really, it wouldnt have been selfish talking to your dd at least once in 11 days, really it wouldnt have been.

Bonsoir · 10/02/2010 21:39

Indeed, Aitch . Some people's vocabulary is a little... restricted?

Bonsoir · 10/02/2010 21:41

Anyway, I am just glad that all our children have been brought up to travel and spend time away from their parents doing all sorts of things - so much more enriching for them to be able to have non-routine experiences that may or may not include their parents!

AnyFucker · 10/02/2010 21:41

expat...noooooo

< bleaches eyeballs >

< scrubs memory >

ilovemydogandmrobama · 10/02/2010 21:42

Am still having nightmares after that Genki Genki thread

cariboo · 10/02/2010 21:43

Personally, this is non-question. I would never leave my dc with anyone for that long. They're 6 & 9 now but I still wouldn't do it unless there was an emergency. Not to mention the fact that I would worry myself sick. A holiday? Ha! You have a kid, you have a responsibility. You don't just duck out because you think "it's time".

lol at "dh pants on face & scratching with toothbrush" - how the f*ck did you dream up that particular scenario?

AnyFucker · 10/02/2010 21:44

anna, I perfectly understand the way you meant the term "carnal" in relation to bf

what I didn't understand was, while you were in the middle of this intense, physical, all-consuming period, you errr...fucked off on holiday without her

total contradiction in terms/actions, IMO

GhoulsAreLoud · 10/02/2010 21:44

Regarding the people who thought this wasn't real...

When I was 18 I left home and moved away and was looking for jobs. I phoned about a domestic cleaning job in the local paper and was told it had gone but the lady said I sounded nice and did I want to do some kind of babysitting/mothers help type stuff.

I used to do tidying and cleaning, feed the baby, babysit frequently. She didn't know me from Adam, I had no references, she didn't know my address, I didn't even have a telephone number!

Not long into working for her she was invited on a business trip with her husband to Germany.

She left her baby with me for 5 days!! I can't quite remember how old he was - I think he must have been about 8 months as I remember him learning to crawl around that time.

People are that weird!

Bonsoir · 10/02/2010 21:46

She slept in bed with my mother and was just fine! My mother was tickled pink with all the cuddles - no-one had shown her that much continuous affection in years

rainbowinthesky · 10/02/2010 21:46

anyfucker - she so did not. She selfishly left her dd so that her dd could have an enriching experience. Yes, I appreciate on the surface it looks like she fucked off skiing for 11 days without so much as a phone call but it really wasn't like that.

GhoulsAreLoud · 10/02/2010 21:46

Oh, and in answer to the OP - she paid me £100 which in hindsight was shockingly little even though it was 13 years ago - she knew that I was poor and could get away with paying me bugger all I think.

She herself was not short of cash though, a lawyer IIRC and I think her husband was an architect.

rainbowinthesky · 10/02/2010 21:47

sorry "unselfishly" (obviously....)

AnyFucker · 10/02/2010 21:52

anna...did your mother breastfeed her ?

all that carnality going to waste...tch

plantsitter · 10/02/2010 21:53

I think LondonLisa has probably got the point by now, but I just wanted to stick my elbow in - my nephew is 2, I was there when he was born and I have seen him at the very least once a week since then, but when he stayed over at my house recently on his own I had to bribe him with all manner of bananas, bedtime stories, presents, episodes of Thomas on DVD etc before he would even contemplate going to sleep without his mummy. So I wouldn't be all that surprised if you were to get a hysterical phone call on night 2 from the nursery worker begging you, for the love of God, to come home.

Bumperlicious · 10/02/2010 21:58

Not sure how I feel about the OP. I left DD at about the same age for a week and went to the States, but I left her with DH, who looked after her 3 days a week anyway, so not even much upheaval.

TBH I jumped at the chance having never been to the states. It was with work, so was work for 3 days and then a trip to NYC for 4 days. As for the finances, well, the holiday part of the trip was paid for by the overtime from the work part, so that wasn't really an issue. I skyped DD every day and she was fine. Apparently she cried for me on the first day but DH had the presence of mind not to tell me till I got back. It was hard at first, I was panicky trying to find an internet cafe to Skype the first day, but then settled right it.

Going away with DH would be completely different though, I'm not sure we could do it (although while PG we thought we might join my dad snowboarding and leave our 9 month old with my mum for a week ).

Bonsoir · 10/02/2010 22:01

Eighteen months ago DP and I took our first little holiday on our own with no children since before DD was born ie nearly four years. He got all nervous and didn't enjoy it nearly as much as he should have because he found it so odd being with no children at all. Grrrrrrrr.

cariboo · 10/02/2010 22:04

Brilliant thread here, btw. Classic MN. Can't wait to read the whole thing.

bickie · 10/02/2010 22:05

I am sure the poor OP has stopped reading this thread - but just in case - I would pay £100 a night for the days at nursery - and £250 for the weekends. You are entitled to a holiday. You are entitled to be a woman first and mother second. Your DD will be fine. She won't stare at a wall. She won't think you're dead. She will go to nursery, have fun. Come home and be fed and bathed, cuddled (yes other people - even those that aren't the blessed alpha mothers -are capable of loving and cuddling a child) and she will be put to bed. And you, if you can get all this absolute crap out of your head - might enjoy the 10 days with your DH. I hope you do.

AnyFucker · 10/02/2010 22:06

lol @ cariboo

yup, this thread certainly has all the elements of an Mn classic...

BlueBumedFly · 10/02/2010 22:10

LOL at MerryLegs!!

Its freekin cold out there, who's stupid idea was it to go for a run....

Quintessential12belowZero · 10/02/2010 22:11

Bonsoir "DD was just fine with my mother - she knows and loves her dearly -"

Love.
That is the key isnt it.

What love is this little girl going to experience from a possibly knackered young nursery worker?

I have left my kids on occasion, never being away more than 5 continuous nights. But I have left them with my husband, who is competent to handle any situation with them, knows them, and loves them. We could not both leave them and go on holiday.

The very thought that my own children did not get the love, care and affection they require, makes me feel very uncomfortable.

Aubergines · 10/02/2010 22:14

LondonLisa - I am sorry people have judged you so harshly. To answer your question I think you have to pay the normal hourly rate. I am leaving my two girls (3 & 1) with their nanny for three nights soon. She normally gets paid £10 an hour and will be paid the same for each hour I am gone. It will be v expensive but worth it. Like you I have no family who wld ever look after my kids.

lilyofvalley · 10/02/2010 22:39

?

Rindercella · 10/02/2010 23:18

Bickie: "You are entitled to be a woman first and mother second". Err, when you have a dependent toddler, not yet 2 years old, any entitlement you feel you may have actually goes out of the window. You are responsible for that child's welfare. Entitlement my arse - never heard such a heap of crap. Actually, having read the whole 14 pages of this thread, your post stands out as being the most ridiculous

weegiemum · 10/02/2010 23:34

Dh and I left our children in October for 8 days. We were visiting Venezuela and contemplating a possible move to work there (decided no - too dangerous for our family) and needed the first visit to be just us.

Our children were 9y8m, 7y8m, 5y11m. They had 2 weekends (or parts therof) with a very close friend of the family, probably the closest I have to a sister (I have a sister ... lets not go there!) and someone they all love very much and who loves them (she will be their guardian if dh and I were to drop dead). They had the weekdays with Grannie, at Grannie's house.

I missed them like crazy, though I emailed and send pics every day and spoke twice on the phone (not easy due to time difference and cost, and unreliability of internet).

We've left them before for 4-5 days for short breaks, but never so young (think dd2 was 3 when I first left her for anything more than a weekend). I honestly would not, even now, go away for so long again until they are much older - and I'm talking about a 10yo now (and I am SOOOO not a precious mummy type!)

We didn't pay people as it was people doing it out of love, but we did provide lovely food in the fridge, a delivery of flowers to MIL, etc, so I can't help with the cost.

However, I cannot imagine leaving a child of 22 months with anyone other than Daddy, or possibly another blood relation, at this age. I'm quite tbh, and it takes a lot to shock me!