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Original poster

Husband and I are going away for a week... how much to pay the babysitter?

394 replies

LondonLisa · 10/02/2010 12:02

My husband and I will be going on our first holiday away from our 22-month-old daughter. We have someone from her nursery staying with her for the 7 days we are away. This will mean the sitter will take our daughter home from nursery (6-ish) and stay all night and bring her to nursery the next day. Repeat. This will also overlap 2 weekends.
Any idea what fair pay would be? I don't want to skimp but I also don't want to be... ostentatious, if that makes sense.
We usually pay this sitter £8/hr if that helps.
Any suggestions are appreciated.

OP posts:
piprabbit · 10/02/2010 16:45

Is it really OK to employ someone to work 216 hours at a stretch, with the only breaks being lunch breaks etc. while she is at nursery?

I know that all us incredible mums work round the clock for weeks on end, and yes I know children sleep... but I would have thought that it's a bit much to expect from your employee, and that the nursery would have an opinion on this too.

TheBossofMe · 10/02/2010 16:45

expat - really, you would give up a job in this current economic climate or face a long separation from family rather than move to a relatively safe, civilised country like the UK??? Surely that would be even less conducive to a healthy family environment than going on holiday for a week!

SolidGoldBrass · 10/02/2010 16:50

It's all a bit heteronormative and generally normative, as well. DC can thrive being brought up by non-blood-relatives, you know (all us adoptees and adopters for instance), as well as in all kinds of unusual family circumstances. And single people like to take time off from childcare, too - actually, for harassed mums time off to 'be a wife' ie suck dick and service hubby, is far less important to your family's general wellbeing than time to yourself.

frakkinaround · 10/02/2010 16:51

PPs are usually self employed.

I'm assuming the nursery nurse has checked the conditions of her employment and the OP her agreement with the nursery. Some don't forbid it.

SpeedyGonzalez · 10/02/2010 17:00

But SGB, adoption is a long-term commitment. And, as with leaving a 2 yo for a week, it's also extremely stressful for the child (and parents!) at the beginning. So it doesn't work as a comparison in this discussion.

expatinscotland · 10/02/2010 17:19

This person isn't a forces spouse, Boss, so that's neither here nor there.

TheBossofMe · 10/02/2010 17:23

expat - wasn't me who raised the forces point. I was merely commenting on it.

TheBossofMe · 10/02/2010 17:24

Solid - not sure much servicing will be going on with this holiday - its a camping trip. Or are you braver under canvas than I am?

ilovemydogandmrobama · 10/02/2010 17:42

I don't understand. If the OP has someone in mind, why doesn't she just ask, 'how much do you want for the week?'

Bonsoir · 10/02/2010 20:02

Gosh, OP, you have been treated very harshly on this thread.

I left my DD aged 16 months and still addicted to the breast for 11 days and nights to go on a ski holiday to Switzerland. I took DD to England (we live in Paris) and left her with my parents to do this.

If your DD is used to going to nursery every day, and then returns to her own home and bed every evening, with a nursery worker she knows, she will be just fine for a fortnight at 22 months.

However, I have no clue how much you need to pay this woman and think you should ask for a quote!

AitchTwoOhOneOh · 10/02/2010 20:07

your example doesn't hold, sgb, i would be equally about an adoptive parent ditching their kid for a week with a nursery nurse, never having spent a night away before.

the practical issues are interesting, i hadn't thought of them, but yes, that is exploitatively long hours if the woman is also working in the nursery. and i thought the great thing about being a forces wife was the camaraderie among the womenfolk? is that not the case?

AitchTwoOhOneOh · 10/02/2010 20:09

by 'addicted to the breast' do you mean bfing, anna? lol. and i didn't know you live in paris. i was so sure it was barnsley.

Bonsoir · 10/02/2010 20:13

The post wasn't directed at you, Aitch, and I don't know the OP...

Breastfeeding, yes, but good and proper - not the once a day snack that lots of extended breastfeeders seem to be content with!

She was fine, I had rocks for breasts [ouch]

AitchTwoOhOneOh · 10/02/2010 20:15

you could've expressed into the apres-ski eggnog.

rainbowinthesky · 10/02/2010 20:16

Never ever would I do this. Each to their own but it is an incredibly selfish thing to do. Why on earth can't you take your own child on holiday with you?

expatinscotland · 10/02/2010 20:17

Bonsoir, how can you post such, when you just got after Quattro on another thread about how easy it is to travel with children, even young ones?

What gives?

Bonsoir · 10/02/2010 20:18

Sadly I never managed to express a drop, ever!

But God the relief when I saw DD after 11 days and nights. My top was off practically before we got out of the car on my parents' drive! I will never forget the blissful sensation as she sucked the rocks away (she was as pleased as I was!).

rainbowinthesky · 10/02/2010 20:18

I wonder how people can be so sure their dc are okay at this age to be left for so long. I guess to admit it might actually be a shitty thing to do to such a young child is quite hard if you do it. It's like the people who send their children from a very young age to boardign school - oh but they love it......

StarExpat · 10/02/2010 20:19

wait a second.
Expat - there's a taco bell on the base?
My dad was in the navy (is retired and lives near base in Norfolk, VA)... I have a military ID as his dependant. Can I access that taco bell?

Bonsoir · 10/02/2010 20:19

Precisely expat - babies don't like ski-ing and other modern consumerist holidays. They like back to nature villages and a rustic environment!

AitchTwoOhOneOh · 10/02/2010 20:22

oho, WAIT until you see 'leaving home at 8', on tomorrow, channel 4 9pm. there's the real story of how the ruling classes treat their kids.

ilovemydogandmrobama · 10/02/2010 20:22

Taco Bell? There's a Taco Bell nearby?

BlueBumedFly · 10/02/2010 20:22

After 11 pages I am guessing this really is for real. Call me old fashioned but wouldn't it been kinder to start off with a weekend first? So saying, could not do it myself.

Bonsoir · 10/02/2010 20:22

Honestly and truthfully, babies do not mind being left for a few days and nights, providing they are well cared for by familiar adults in a familiar environment.

When they get to three or four it is much harder to leave them - they miss their parents much more then. And then in gets much, much easier again, sometime in between their fourth and fifth birthdays.

DD's class is starting with its round of 6th birthday parties - pyjama parties, all nighters in sleeping bags with a movie and popcorn.

rainbowinthesky · 10/02/2010 20:26

Hmm, I actually think kids quite like being with their parents. I don't believe for one moment children the age of the op won't miss their parents and suffer from being left for so long. Still it's much nicer to say they wont mind.