Should I contribute more towards an expensive holiday with DP?

[Trillybee]

For the last year I’ve eared a lot more than DP. Not double but easily 50%. We’ve been together a decade and live together but split everything 50:50, always have.

There’s a hotel I really want to go to but it’s £5,000 for a week half board with flights. DP takes home about £5k a month so he said £2,500 for a week is too much. I’m thinking of offering to pay £3,000 and he pays £2,000.

Yes

your money, spend it however you like if you're happy to part-fund his holiday!

If £2k is what he’d usually pay for that kind of holiday that seems reasonable. If he’s still paying a premium as it’s something you particularly want, maybe you should pay a bit extra.

There’s no point one of you winning at life if the other can’t join. If he’s sensible with money and isn’t racking up debt and then not being able to explain where his money is, I would definitely be paying the extra.

If situations were different and you were unable to work due to health etc do you think he’d be paying a bigger percentage for you to still live the life he wanted to?

If you can then yes, my husband earns more than me so he pays more and is happy to do so

If you want to go a you can afford it then I think that’s totally reasonable. I’d pay more personally as it’s kind of your choice here.

I cannot understand splitting everything equally after 10 years. It’s like you are still completely separate people without common interests. £5000 isn’t that much for a week between 2 of you. Yes you pay more but I’d be wondering about how this is going to go forward. Why not have a holiday fund? What about other big purchases?

If you earn 150% of what he earns shouldn’t you be offering £3750 and revisiting that he pays hugely more then you into the house? You’re taking the piss earning so much more and expecting 50:50 in household and holiday costs.

Woah, you should be paying more than that. More like 3800 v his 1200,

Obviously. Personally for have more spare and it is you who wants to go there I would say you should pay even more of it

Why are you paying 50:50 when you earn much more than him? Surely everything is split accordingly to your earnings?

Yes you should pay more than that as previous posts mention.

I would say 1500/ 3500 would be a more reasonable split. I do t really understand why people
on a long term relationship would want their partner to have a lower standard of living than them.

No me neither, I out earn my husband, he used to outearn me, we always pay proportionately and ensure similar disposable incomes. I can’t imagine behaving as the op is. Or my husband doing so.

The current arrangement of 50/50 is very unfair on your DP and now you are dithering about contributing more towards the holiday. Do you not see yourselves as a 'team'?

@likeitshard He only earns 50% less! Not less than half what the Op earns! He’s got £5000 a month x 12 months. So £60,000. She has £90,000. So why does he pay less than half for a the holiday? I don’t follow that logic.

You can offer that to him but he doesn’t have to agree to it

Do you live together? Why don't you contribute proportionally to houaehold expenses according to your income?

If either of you weren't working for any reason (e.g. Long term illness), would the expectation be to still contribute 50/50 or would you support each other?

After 10 years with someone I couldn't be arsed getting worked up over one or other paying an extra 500 quid to enjoy a holiday together.

If you split everything 50:50 you're being very greedy and unfair OP

Poor bloke. I would pay for most of it

I'd probably pay for all of it in those circumstances.

If you're splitting things 50/50 financially, does that also include the household chores?

He's been put in a difficult position, but at least he's spoken up. I feel quite sorry for him actually - it must be quite embarrassing to have to say he can't afford what you want.

Why wouldn’t you?

that is a lot for just a week

I would probably look at what he’d consider spending on a week’s holiday and ask him to pay that. So maybe ask him to pay £1500