Keeping toddlers safe around an unfenced villa pool on holiday

[OneProudCrab]

Very excited to be going on our first family holiday to a villa. We have DS1 (3yr) and DS2 (13 months crawler). There will be PIL (but are fairly hands off parenting) and BIL with a baby also.

Ive started to get a bit paranoid about pool safety after hearing some terrible statistic that it is the number one cause of death in 1-3yr olds (think it was the US and haven't fact checked so it may be completely false but nevertheless I'm worried still).

The villa does not have a fence around it and I think the idea was to spend a lot of time in the outdoor shady area that is close but not directly overlooking the pool.

Any advice other than to stay super vigilant on how to keep kids safe and allow us to relax as much as we can whilst they play?

One thing that I read years ago about children and water that stayed with me is 'the more adults there are the more dangerous it is' because everyone assumes someone is keeping an eye out. I would do a 'tag you're it' rule with your partner/spouse so you are responsible until you have told them they are now looking after the kid/kids and vice versa, so there is no 'you saw me send them towards you I thought you were keeping an eye out'. Do not assume any other family members are supervising.

I live in an area with lots of houses with pools (including my PIL) and I am paranoid about them. This last week 2 children in the area have drowned in a private pool - 1 3 year old and 1 15 month old. You are correct that drowning is the leading cause of death for young children.

If you must do this holiday, I completely agree with the advice so far. 1 adult per child - always. No exceptions. Make it always verbally clear (with a response) who is looking after which child at all times. You will need to keep all doors and windows closed when you are inside, even if it is hot unless a parent is directly supervising each child as if you were outside. Supervising means watching the child at all times. Ideally within arms reach. We have spent many hours just training round our child in the garden making sure they were safe. Which means no sitting in the patio chilling out and talking if your child decides to go for a walk or a crawl. It’s doable - but not particularly relaxing. We have only 1 DC so could take turns but with 2 children the hyper vigilance will be tiring IMO.

In the last 10 days alone two 3 year old's and 2 4 year old's have drowned in pools in Spain. Three of them in private villas.
Parents have to take turns in having "eyes on" their children and that means no glancing at your phones, no turning away, 30 mins each at a time, every single moment of the day. As for night time move a sofa in front of the door to the garden, take a door stop to shove under your bedroom door so they can't open it, use a window alarm on the door and window (amazon). And insist all doors are locked at all times.
And one parent has to stay alcohol free each day.

@BeKookyExpert Veronica Drew's story on TikTok is horrific. I just want to SHAKE those idiot parents of hers to be so totally resistant to pool safety. And then to get a fence and a gate after all that time, but not bother to have locks available when your daughter is coming with FIVE kids! And they left her there alone for an entire day KNOWING she had just driven two days, had five kids to look after on her own because her husband wasn't yet there, and that they had not sorted out a gate lock. Can't believe she had to sort out a lock every time she went. So they had a pool fence and a gate, and the entire set-up was fucking useless because they refused to make sure locks were available in advance of her arrival with FIVE children. So their daughter somehow had to look after them all on her own and try to sort out a lock too. Great plan. Guess what fucking happened?

He was a darling little boy. Lost his life because of irresponsible adults.

I just CANNOT get my head around grandparents being so completely lackadaisical about pool safety. And not only did they not fucking bother to have a fucking lock on their fucking pool gate (pardon my French, I'm just so angry that their negligence cost a child his life), they also refused to listen to their very experienced lifeguard water-safety-expert daughter. Their pigheadedness cost that dear little boy his life.

What kind of person thinks "I have my five grandchildren coming to stay, some of whom are too young to swim. I know! I won't bother doing an easy thing like making sure I order a couple of locks from Amazon!"

Omg find another villa. Seriously?!

Is there a cover that you can pull over the pool? That would help in this situation although it won't replace you having to watch them like a hawk.

I think some of the responses (saying they wouldn’t go at all) are a bit over-dramatic to be honest…

My MIL has a large pond in her garden that is not fenced, and we stay with her several times a year. What we do is: 1. Instill in the kids that the pond is VERY DANGEROUS, and they don’t go near it or they could drown. Obviously the youngest ones have no comprehension of what that even means, so step 2. One person just follows each child around continuously non-stop. They are under full 1:1 supervision all day. This may mean that the person supervising the child cannot participate in cooking or anything else. Oh well, it’s the IL’s fault for booking that villa isn’t it, the children’s safety comes first. When ours were really little, me and DH used to take it in turns to sit and eat dinner while the other was supervising the toddler at MIL’s house (there were loads of hazards inside the house too). As someone else said, it means saying “I’m going to the loo, can you watch the baby for a sec?”.

When everyone is indoors, (such as morning or evening), keep the doors shut and locked. (It’s best to keep all doors shut anyway to keep the heat out). It won’t be very relaxing for you and DH, but it’ll still be nice.

I remember going on holiday to Greece and we were talking to a couple who had two teenage daughters. They were telling me when the children were little they went on a villa holiday with her parents and during the unpacking whrn they first arrived hey both assumed the other couple had one of the little girls with them, the search began and they found her face down in the swimming poolm thankfully they managed to resuscitate her with the help of the ambulance and she survived.

Get them both life jackets, the ones with a strap that goes between their legs so they can't just wriggle out of them. They're inexpensive and will protect them but continue to be vigilant.

All that said I’m very risk averse and not sure I’d do it now or with more than one child. All reputable British travel companies now require villa pools to be fenced and accommodate families only above ground floor level in hotels so far as I’m aware.

Where are you going? We spend a lot of time in Bali where pools are unfenced but over the last few years businesses have sprung up offering to set up temporary bamboo pool fences in holiday villas as they realised it was a reason why families didn’t book. Maybe you could look into that where you are? We live in Aus where despite the fact that pool fencing regulations are stringent there are still regular tragic drownings of young children. No way would I holiday with small children and an unfenced pool.

FOR THE PEOPLE RECOMMENDING POOLS WITH COVERS IN PLACE OF FENCES:

No, no, no. Those pool covers are insanely dangerous. Kids fall in and get trapped under them. Even if they can swim, they're often too small to get out from under it, and it pushes them down. And the covers are heavy. Are you really going to bother to cover the pool up each day? Just book a villa with a pool fence and lock. It's not hard.

And for anyone thinking about holidaying in a villa with a pool and no fence, remember this:

Children are really, really drawn to water. Almost magnetically so. They will do anything to try to get to the pool - as Veronica Drew on TikTok found, to her cost.

After watching her story, I would recommend that anyone going to a villa with a fenced pool take a lock in your luggage. One of those combo ones (you don't want to risk losing the key). And if the lock turns out to be a keypad, for heavens' sake don't let them watch you put the code in. A toddler drowned a few years ago because he remembered which buttons to press and got into the fenced, locked pool area that way.

You can get inexpensive gadgets from Amazon to jam into the space between the door and wall to ensure the kids can't leave their bedroom until you liberate them. That way they can't sneak out early.

I think DH and I have always been quite good at calculating risk and are not too risk averse (kids hobbies were rowing, sailing, horse riding, rugby and motor bikes).
However we wouldn't hire a villa with an unfenced pool if we were taking toddlers or small children.

I think the risk comes from assuming the person who was delegated the task of supervising them is never going to lose focus but unless they are totally "tuned in" and used to watching small children, it is so easy to become distracted

Can you buy a pool alarm to take with you?

Make kids were floatation vest when outside?

Be away from the villa most days? Lots of trips out.

Ultimately though I'd not be afraid if offending the extended family and saying.....this isn't for us

A dreadful idea knowing there would be such young children in a villa with no safety features around an open pool. I would never have agreed to this.

And in addition to not bothering to have a pool gate that locked, Veronica Drew's parents lock on their back door was broken too. All this when they knew they had five young kids coming to stay. I'm beginning to think they must be a pair of imbeciles.

Good God. That sort of experience must scar you forever even if the child turns out to be OK. Can you IMAGINE going out to the pool and seeing your child floating face-down? 😱

I’m quite surprised by these responses to be honest. I am super vigilant and paranoid about safety too.

We’ve taken our (now adult) DC on villa holidays with pools and now our DGC quite recently. Our DGC is 2 and was never left alone outside or inside. When in or close to the pool they wore a float but there was an adult with them every second. At night they couldn’t get out of the house as doors locked so not a problem there. I guess it also depends on the DC, are they runners, do they have SEND that could mean they are impulsive, don’t see danger and are more at risk - that would cause concern of course. If you’re uncertain that they can be supervised all the time then that would probably mean it wouldn’t be safe to take them.

I honestly didn’t feel uncomfortable at all and we all had a lovely relaxing holiday.

Why would you agree to this holiday? It’s the other adults complacency that will be the problem. Cancel and book your own holiday with a resort pool.

A more important part of parenting is avoiding dangerous situations for your children.

This

as always first post nails it

and legally can they rent their villa out with no safety round the pool

I wouldn't risk it as it's hardly going to be a relaxing holiday with a 3 year old and two babies worrying about the pool.

I had a colleague years ago who lost a niece in this way.

Good advice but I need to leave this thread. The idea of a 3 year old & a toddler being around an open pool when taking your eyes off them for a mere second could result in drowning makes me shudder. The OP saying so I can relax as much as possible while they play is unbelievably naive & lacking in common sense. You can't relax while there are young children around an open pool. You can't take your eyes of them & even then they can fall in. I'm out 😫

another one here who wouldn't risk it.

OP, who booked that villa, with the unfenced pool?

Op you've had a lot of info and advice but you will need to understand what your options are to navigate this. I agee with the risk, we never did villa holidays with young dc due to all the reasons given here - we went to hotels.

Can you cancel the accommodation? If so what alternatives are available.

If not what rules will you need to enforce.

What do you need to take with you to help with safety. For example, I'm assuming you will all be sleeping in one room- I would take a travel door look so you know your toddler can't escape.

I have always discounted accommodation with unfenced pool when my kids were younger. I would never do it. Ever.