Keeping toddlers safe around an unfenced villa pool on holiday

[OneProudCrab]

Very excited to be going on our first family holiday to a villa. We have DS1 (3yr) and DS2 (13 months crawler). There will be PIL (but are fairly hands off parenting) and BIL with a baby also.

Ive started to get a bit paranoid about pool safety after hearing some terrible statistic that it is the number one cause of death in 1-3yr olds (think it was the US and haven't fact checked so it may be completely false but nevertheless I'm worried still).

The villa does not have a fence around it and I think the idea was to spend a lot of time in the outdoor shady area that is close but not directly overlooking the pool.

Any advice other than to stay super vigilant on how to keep kids safe and allow us to relax as much as we can whilst they play?

Door alarm for toddlers bedroom so you are alerted if they get up and leave the room early. Same for the door leading out to the pool.

Formal handovers of responsibility for childcare between you and dh so if you pop to the loo he knows sole responsibility is on him amd vice versa. PP's suggestion that the person with responsibility is handed a bracelet to wear is a good one as it ensures you pay attention to the handover

I just went and watched.

Christ alive.

I think people are being quite OTT here, there is only one 3yr old and the other two are only crawling and then a baby. Just ensure the 3yr old is always with either you or DH (purposefully designate). It doesn’t have to be ‘totally non-relaxing’. You can still relax while playing with your 3yr old. id only hesitate if your DH is one of those crap dads who doesn’t do much.

You haven’t mentioned the house set up in vicinity to the pool? That matters.

I once went on a similar holiday with my non-swimming twins. DH and I just swapped looking out for them at all times. We had a lovely time.

I can’t believe you are even considering this. I’m in Australia and have a pool with a fence. They come out and inspect it every few years to make sure that it’s compliant, the gate has to be self closing and you can’t have anything nearby to make it climbable. The windows on that side of the house can’t open more than a couple of inches. I would not stay anywhere with toddlers and an unfenced pool, it’s just too dangerous.

I just wouldn't be able to relax. Toddlers need constant vigilance at the best of times. Would recommend rebooking somewhere else or some kind of shift pattern like you're in the army keeping watch.

I posted about this already on a paddling pool thread but I’m the most relaxed person ever until it comes to pools and paddling pools. A neighbours child aged around 7 (so not even a toddler) drowned in a freak paddling pool accident years ago and the house was full of people when it happened as there was a family bbq going on. There was a cup final match on the telly going to penalties or something like that and everyone inside was watching the end of the match.

I had a villa with a gate and still found my 3yo by the pool one day!

We are going with an 18 month old (and older children from 4+) later in the summer. There's no fence but the pool does have a shutter cover for when not in use. So I feel okay about just having a duty system during the day then will close it over when not in use.

Change the booking to somewhere with a fenced pool… I clearly remember being on our flight out on holiday last year reading a story about a 3 yo who drowned on a family holiday in a villa with extended family… I think the danger is that the more people there are to “watch” the children, the higher the chances everyone thinks someone else is doing it. I think the story I read about the family were all getting ready to go out, everyone was putting on shoes, finding belongings, all doing last minute preparations for leaving etc and generally distracted for a few minutes which meant no one had noticed the little boy had wandered off to the pool- that’s literally all it takes- 3 minutes of distraction amongst 7 days. If you can 100% guarantee that at no point will anyone lose focus on your children, even for a minute, then go ahead, but that doesn’t sound like a particularly relaxing time!! There are loads of villas with fenced pools, I would consider those instead personally.

I can't believe it's legal to rent out a villa as a holiday home and not have a pool fence. Must be in one of those countries where safety is not really a thing.

A few summers ago, a two-year-old drowned in such a pool despite there being a pool fence with a lock. The lock was one with a keypad and number code. The child knew which numbers to press, having observed his parents do it. Maybe they were a bit older than two, I can't find the news story now. But they were a toddler, anyway. Apparently, young children memorising which buttons to press is a thing with those locks, according to my news search just now. Just goes to show how amazingly careful you have to be.

Children are really, really drawn to water.

Ohh no way would I go to a villa like that with kids as young as your kid's ages. The safety risks are far to high.

No, change your booking. Those pool covers are insanely dangerous. Kids fall in and get trapped under them. Even if they can swim, they're often too small to get out from under it, and it pushes them down. And the covers are heavy. Are you really going to bother to cover the pool up each day? Just book a villa with a pool fence and lock. It's not hard.

Check out Veronica Drew on TikTok.

I’d keep them in some sort of life vest/buoyancy aid at all times when near the pool.

Second, anyone who’s supposed to be watching the little ones should not be looking at their phone!

Lastly, certainly with the 3 year old, I’d be spending as much time as possible in the pool with them, encouraging them to swim! At that age they may take to it very quickly.

Mine both learnt to swim at well before 3 - sort of doggy paddle or tadpole-wriggle - proper strokes can come later, being happy in the water is far more important at this sort of age.

My elder was barely 2 - she wanted to jump in without her armbands when I was in the deep end. I said Ok (I’d catch her) but she just came up swimming underwater in a sort of tadpole wriggle. Maybe when very little they just do it, like puppies, nobody teaches dogs to swim, after all.

I was sat feeding my youngest on a sun lounger with her dad sat next to me and we were talking to her. I glanced round and saw my 3 year old son just going under in the pool. It was silent. There was no splash when he’d gone in and no yell. I screamed and my husband leapt in and pulled him out.

if I hadn looked round it would have been too late. The grandparents who were inside with him hadn’t seen/noticed him walk off and weren’t watching him as they should have. Equally on reflection I should never have trusted them to do so and they’ve done things since which aren’t safe.

if you cannot cancel the holiday out a botany aid on them from the moment they wake up. A full life vest. Just in case anyone looks away.

after that experience I would never go to un-fenced pool again with a non swimmer

Was there no Villa available with a fenced pool @Raindrops7654

We used to do this every year. It’s not a relaxing holiday-more time away to spend together. Our non negotiables were having a named adult watching DC at all times. Handed over to someone else if needing the toilet etc.doors locked during nap time-tbh DH used to go in a nap as well so was with them. Doors locked overnight anyway.
it was fine. Kids loved those holidays.

We’ve stayed in hotels with private pools and obviously no fence. You just make sure someone is always with the children, which really should be the case at that age regardless of the pool. The 3 year old shouldn’t be left to roam around outside alone anyway.
Doors are locked unless someone is actually watching the children. With 4 adults this should be easy.

I just bought a floaty vest for DD2 for our holidays and it came with a laminated lanyard that says something like ‘I am responsible for watching the children in the swimming pool. When I need to leave, I will pass this lanyard to someone else.’ And the idea is that someone physically wears the lanyard and is solely responsible for the pool and has to do a proper handover.

Sorry but people who are drowning don't scream. If they are screaming they are ok/frightened. There are physiological responses that prevent you screaming if you are drowning. Drowning is quiet and very often not obvious even to onlookers.

My family holiday by the sea all the time with babies/toddlers. What we do is stick a life vest on the kids any time they're anywhere near the water.

Life vests are designed to turn the child face up in the water and lift the head out, giving plenty of time for a child to be rescued.

A child has never fallen in yet but safety first!

There is literally no way a 2 year old could unlock a gate with a 4 digit code.
Sounds more like the gate was left open.

Quite.

Can you take/hire a travel cot then you can have the children in that if you need to go to the toilet etc.

We’ve done this as in the past few villas had fenced off pools. We did a few things.

First we did the Australia thing of teaching the babies the turn to your back and starfish thing from early on. Google it.

Second I always knew where my ambulatory toddler was - always with me really or hand in hand with husband if not. No one else was with us - good actually because noone looks after your kids as well as you do.

Third, both were bought waterwings and similar that they loved to extent of taking them to bed 😁 and wouldn’t step outside without them on.

Fourth ambulatory ones knew that they weren’t allowed out without permission and were obedient kids. We also locked doors and used only one exit ensuring that it had one of those alarms you can buy and take with you on it.

I am sorry to say this but you need to rethink this holiday .