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Keeping toddlers safe around an unfenced villa pool on holiday

338 replies

OneProudCrab · 27/06/2026 23:01

Very excited to be going on our first family holiday to a villa. We have DS1 (3yr) and DS2 (13 months crawler). There will be PIL (but are fairly hands off parenting) and BIL with a baby also.

Ive started to get a bit paranoid about pool safety after hearing some terrible statistic that it is the number one cause of death in 1-3yr olds (think it was the US and haven't fact checked so it may be completely false but nevertheless I'm worried still).

The villa does not have a fence around it and I think the idea was to spend a lot of time in the outdoor shady area that is close but not directly overlooking the pool.

Any advice other than to stay super vigilant on how to keep kids safe and allow us to relax as much as we can whilst they play?

OP posts:
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Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 29/06/2026 21:42

Hollyhobbi · 29/06/2026 21:36

You can’t drill into the 3 year old that they can’t go near the pool!

My 8 year old nephew, excitement would take over and he can swim but not very well. That’s an 8 year old who is usually good at following instructions and rules.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 29/06/2026 21:43

Stopsnowing · 29/06/2026 21:42

Yes - children have drowned in hotel pools surrounded by people and with lifeguards present

My 12/13 year old DB almost drowned at a pool with a lifeguard watching just centimetres away. My mum had to dive in to save him, he was unconscious but survived. He’d hit his head on the edge of the pool being dropped into it by his shoulders as a game by an older family friend (she was 14/15). A silly game which the lifeguard should’ve stopped.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 29/06/2026 21:46

DimwittedSkater · 29/06/2026 21:25

I've never heard screams before like those of the older boy in this video, who also couldn't swim. Now I know what's meant by a bloodcurdling scream. 😲

Same screams in this video:

Those screams are awful. I’m sorry but the stupid, stupid family, how can they be so negligent?

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 29/06/2026 21:47

DimwittedSkater · 29/06/2026 21:00

It's the night and the very early morning that would be a worry. Seventy percent of children who drown in private pools do so when the family is not swimming. Children are little escape artists when it comes to entering pools.

Early mornings when no one else is awake, late at night when everyone else is sleeping. Even with an alarm on the pool gate you still might not hear it if it was open and an alarm activated.

Chocolatecrispsdrink · 29/06/2026 21:48

What a fucking nightmare. I would be sat inside with doors closed with the toddlers personally.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 29/06/2026 21:49

Thawtfulpanda · 29/06/2026 09:22

If you do go I would also put something like this on any doors or windows that lead out to the pool.

amzn.eu/d/028i1nty

I suggested a similar alarm for the gate. But that depends on people hearing the alarm. Suppose they don’t hear it?

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 29/06/2026 21:50

Chocolatecrispsdrink · 29/06/2026 21:48

What a fucking nightmare. I would be sat inside with doors closed with the toddlers personally.

I would too. Even with older kids. Unless I was with them in the pool.

DimwittedSkater · 30/06/2026 02:43

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 29/06/2026 21:47

Early mornings when no one else is awake, late at night when everyone else is sleeping. Even with an alarm on the pool gate you still might not hear it if it was open and an alarm activated.

Yes, I have read of a case where there was a door alarm but no one heard it when Baby Houdini turned the locks and opened the door, despite being knee-high to a grasshopper.

DimwittedSkater · 30/06/2026 02:59

My friend was out shopping one afternoon, and her husband was bathing their son, who was 2.5. Let's call the boy Jamie. His dad left the bathroom briefly, came back, and Jamie was under the water. He did CPR. The poor sweetheart was helicoptered to a hospital an hour away, and they wouldn't let the parents go with him as they were automatically under suspicion of abuse. Jamie should have been OK to sit upright, but it transpired from later tests that he had probably had a seizure in those few moments. Never had one before. Friend believed her husband that he had only left the room briefly, because Jamie was still alive when the medics came. Plus, the husband is a 999 employee and knows the dangers, and that's why he knew how to do CPR.

My friend came home from shopping and the place was mad with police cars, sirens, a chopper, the works. I honestly don't think she'll ever recover.

When they got to the hospital - and all that way they had no idea if Jamie was alive or dead - they were taken into a room to be interviewed, and they wouldn't tell them if Jamie had survived the flight!

Anyway, he was alive, but in a coma and desperately ill. He spent THREE MONTHS in hospital, and then made a full recovery after about a year of outpatient physio.

Jamie is the most darling child, a total angel. My friend would never, ever have recovered if he had died.

This is why I feel strongly about this. Drowning happens in seconds. Countries should make pool fences, self-closing hinges, and locks mandatory.

DimwittedSkater · 30/06/2026 03:09

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 29/06/2026 21:46

Those screams are awful. I’m sorry but the stupid, stupid family, how can they be so negligent?

I wonder if they assumed the older boy would look after the younger. Bad idea though, since the older boy couldn't swim either.

Sadly, the negligence doesn't surprise me. Some parents do all sorts of stupid things. I can't believe the McCanns left the door to their apt unlocked and left a three-year-old and crawling twins by themselves. While the chances of an abduction must have been one in millions, they didn't seem to be concerned about the more likely hazards. Such as the three-year-old wandering off, or one of the twins crawling and pulling something over onto themselves...I mean, you know the havoc that three small kids can create. Leaving tiny children who are mobile all alone like that, I just could never. 🙈

Veronica Drew on TikTok was at fault, too. She knew the pool gate wasn't locked and that the back door lock was broken, and yet she had a very long shower (by her own admission) and then pottered around getting dressed and blow-drying her hair. She said she always had to buy a lock for the pool gate since her parents refused to lock the gate, so she should have taken one with her. And her parents were due home shortly. I cannot imagine why she didn't wait for them before having a shower.

People do a bunch of really, really stupid things, and it does make me mad when it's a darling, vulnerable little child who pays the price for that stupidity.

Cattywillow · 30/06/2026 03:18

Another big problem is other people. I once watched a friend at a bbq kindly open the pool gate to let in my toddler because he wanted to join the big kids. I had to run from the house and grab him before he went in the water. The friend was oblivious, just chatting with a beer in his hand. His kids were older and he just forgot that babies can’t swim I guess? Children, cousins etc are even more of a risk as they have no concept of safety.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 30/06/2026 03:53

Where is the villa? Some jurisdictions, like Florida, mandate alarmed doors to prevent children from walking onto the pool deck without the adults realising.

heidi696 · 30/06/2026 04:16

This is way too risky. Honestly I would not go OP. It will be a nightmare. Have read so many horrific stories of children accessing the pool and can drown in 2 mins. No fence - no way

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 30/06/2026 05:38

Hi op I would splash out and bring a babysitter/nanny along or use an agency to find ome
locally to cover the days.
you also need to think about nap times - will the 1 yo be in a cot?
if no nanny you and your DH need to be in charge of a child each at all times and literally Pass over when time to use loo etc or take child with you.
just like in hotel really you wouldn’t leave them alone.

DimwittedSkater · 30/06/2026 06:35

Cattywillow · 30/06/2026 03:18

Another big problem is other people. I once watched a friend at a bbq kindly open the pool gate to let in my toddler because he wanted to join the big kids. I had to run from the house and grab him before he went in the water. The friend was oblivious, just chatting with a beer in his hand. His kids were older and he just forgot that babies can’t swim I guess? Children, cousins etc are even more of a risk as they have no concept of safety.

Jesus Christ. Yep, people are idiots.

Every summer, there are many, many preventable deaths, between children left in hot cars and children in water. It's so sad and so preventable. I can SLIGHTLY understand the car deaths a little more because child seats face the rear, so you can't actually see your child. If they have fallen asleep, and you are rushed, I can sort of see it. So I'm not sure about rear-facing car seats, for this reason.

I read an interesting article about child deaths in hot cars, and apparently the brain's decision-making pathways can sort of "cut out" if you're under stress. You think you've dropped your child at daycare, but you're actually remembering the previous day. Or something. There was an awful case where a dad left his child in the car at work, thinking he'd dropped him at daycare. Three times, his car alarm went off. He went to the office window each time to look at his car, saw nothing amiss (he couldn't see the child) and each time just turned the alarm off from inside his office. It never occurred to him that the child was in the car, because in his mind, he had dropped the child at daycare. Since the child was at daycare, he never questioned anything. Until his wife called and asked where the child was, because he hadn't shown up that day.

Ilovemyfam · 30/06/2026 08:35

DimwittedSkater · 29/06/2026 17:19

Don't be ridiculous? Have you ANY idea how dangerous unsecured pools are for small children? Six children have drowned in the past week where I live, all in private un-secured pools. And Europe is behind the times on this. In many places, like certain American states (could be all of the US, I'm not sure) you have to have a pool fence. It's illegal not to, that's how dangerous it is.

And no, there is no such Italian law. I never said there was. But if a child comes to grief, the family could sue the villa owner in a civil suit. Their insurance would probably pay out, after a contentious civil court case. (And then either refuse to insure them again or hike the rates so as to be unaffordable.)

Watch these two videos and then tell me I'm "ridiculous." And have the sound on for the second one. If you're wondering why the child doesn't grab the lilo, it's because you have no fine motor skills when you're drowning.

This is an extremely serious topic. A dear friend's little boy almost drowned and he was in hospital for MONTHS. So I really do not appreciate being snapped at and told "Don't be ridiculous." Just because there are no fences around pool villas in Europe doesn't mean that it's not dangerous. It means the Europeans are more into cure than prevention.

Edited

So first video shows how even with a fence a pool is dangerous. The fence itself must not make parents complacent.

Soontobe60 · 30/06/2026 09:05

Ethelspagetti · 28/06/2026 10:05

Agreed. But It’s better going to a family friendly hotel as they have kids club, and a park. So you don’t have to be hyper vigilant like you would around the pool. The hotel room is automatically locked while you all nap, shower or have something to eat. Whereas the villa doors internal and external are easier for them to open and the pool is more accessible to them.

Eh? How is a hotel door more secure than a villa door? Surely they would both be capable of being locked ?

WhiskeySoda · 30/06/2026 09:20

I don’t think I’ve ever stayed at a villa with a fenced pool.

Rinseandspin · 30/06/2026 10:56

We had one of those 'what if' moments in a villa pool in spain. DH and I were with our baby on the grassy area whilst 3 year old was in the pool with two cousins, grandparents and uncle and aunt.

We both left to change the baby and when we came back out 3 year old was coughing and standing outside of the pool. We found out they had taken armbands off and tried to get in the pool feet first into a ring but slipped through. It was only my nephew asking where my 3 year old was that their uncle realised and got them out. It was a split second thing that could have resulted in tragedy.

I felt guilty for not having nominated a specific person to watch them whilst we were not there. You can become complacent the more people there are around. Our pool also was becoming a bit murky which we reported and was fixed but we should have done it sooner.

I dont envy you OP. I didn't find those type of holidays particularly relaxing.

DimwittedSkater · 30/06/2026 16:41

Ilovemyfam · 30/06/2026 08:35

So first video shows how even with a fence a pool is dangerous. The fence itself must not make parents complacent.

It's a pool at an apartment complex, and so it might have one side of the building serving as a fence. But the safest pools have the fence all the way round. Also you have to rely on other people to lock the door or gate. The way the child just runs to it and flings himself in. 🙈 Thank God he was rescued. Given that it's summer, I keep seeing stories of children drowning. It's so terrible.

DimwittedSkater · 30/06/2026 16:44

Rinseandspin · 30/06/2026 10:56

We had one of those 'what if' moments in a villa pool in spain. DH and I were with our baby on the grassy area whilst 3 year old was in the pool with two cousins, grandparents and uncle and aunt.

We both left to change the baby and when we came back out 3 year old was coughing and standing outside of the pool. We found out they had taken armbands off and tried to get in the pool feet first into a ring but slipped through. It was only my nephew asking where my 3 year old was that their uncle realised and got them out. It was a split second thing that could have resulted in tragedy.

I felt guilty for not having nominated a specific person to watch them whilst we were not there. You can become complacent the more people there are around. Our pool also was becoming a bit murky which we reported and was fixed but we should have done it sooner.

I dont envy you OP. I didn't find those type of holidays particularly relaxing.

I am so glad that your child was OK. 💖 Jesus, doesn't it just go to show how insanely careful you have to be. Note to self: Nominate lifeguard.

DimwittedSkater · 30/06/2026 16:48

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 30/06/2026 03:53

Where is the villa? Some jurisdictions, like Florida, mandate alarmed doors to prevent children from walking onto the pool deck without the adults realising.

It's Italy.

There have been cases where a toddler has got the back door open and no one has heard the alarm, or it didn't go off.

DimwittedSkater · 30/06/2026 16:50

WhiskeySoda · 30/06/2026 09:20

I don’t think I’ve ever stayed at a villa with a fenced pool.

People think they ruin the look.

Seems most villas don't have fenced pools in Europe. Since they rent to families all the time, I think it's a disgrace. You need a fence all the way round, not one side of the house serving as a fence, and you need a self-closing gate with a lock.

Urgentnc · 30/06/2026 16:50

Sorry but I wouldn’t risk this at all even if you lose the payment.

ERthree · 30/06/2026 17:15

OP, you say you are going to a winery and will make sure you take the children straight inside. I personally would be making sure either yourself or your Husband stay sober each day as you sleep much deeper when alcohol is in your system. Is it really worth it for a couple of glasses of wine?

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