Keeping toddlers safe around an unfenced villa pool on holiday

[OneProudCrab]

Very excited to be going on our first family holiday to a villa. We have DS1 (3yr) and DS2 (13 months crawler). There will be PIL (but are fairly hands off parenting) and BIL with a baby also.

Ive started to get a bit paranoid about pool safety after hearing some terrible statistic that it is the number one cause of death in 1-3yr olds (think it was the US and haven't fact checked so it may be completely false but nevertheless I'm worried still).

The villa does not have a fence around it and I think the idea was to spend a lot of time in the outdoor shady area that is close but not directly overlooking the pool.

Any advice other than to stay super vigilant on how to keep kids safe and allow us to relax as much as we can whilst they play?

Trouble is, you can check doors and warn other adults all you like, if only takes someone to go outside in the evening, leave the door open very briefly, while they go to fetch a drink, get distracted or decide to pop to the loo…

You could buy a pool alarm to take with you but I wouldn't rely on ithttps://amzn.eu/d/09pj69FK

Absolutely no way. What a stressful miserable holiday.

You just have to supervise your children like you would at a hotel pool or at the beach. You need to lock the doors at night but I would assume you would do that anyways, even if there was no pool.

Have a lovely holiday.

You just have to be vigilant. It’s absolutely doable. We’ve been on plenty of holidays with young family members with a pool with no fence and it’s fine. You just must keep the doors locked when you are all inside and never allow them to be outside on their own.

If they don’t have a fence is it possible they have an alarm which goes off if the nearby door is opened? That’s what our holiday property has.

Why are posters trying to persuade you to take the risk?? It's not worth it for a fucking holiday. I have never forgotten how I felt either time the little girl I looked after jumped into the pool and went straight under the water.

Also, by renting these villas you are giving the owners no reason to make them safe. If they get no bookings from families, they will soon cop on.

God I feel sick just thinking about that. I literally wouldn’t sleep for fear that someone would leave the door unlocked and the kids get out. Sorry op, I know you’re excited about the holiday, but I wouldn’t be going if I were you.

We did a villa with an unfenced pool when my two were 4 and 2 and it was absolutely fine!! Obviously we didn't let them go outside without an adult,.made sure doors were locked at night/ had a baby monitor etc but other than that we just were with them the whole time so there wasn't a high risk of anything going wrong.

We've also stayed in another villa without a fence but it did have a pool alarm - but again, we just used the same common sense.

Hope you have a lovely holiday

I def think the most important thing is that someone has to always be the one with eyes on the DC.
The fear with extra people is that you always think someone else is watching.
It ends to be very clear who is "on" at all times.

I would not ever relax. It doesn't take long for disaster.
The time to pop off for a wee or get distracted by your phone,

Absolutely wouldn’t be going to that villa and I’m the world’s most relaxed person!

Sorry, I realise your eldest is 3, which makes it more likely that they are in a bed. If they are able to get up without you, I think that increases the risk.

I wouldn’t go. If it was just you then you could make sure that all doors were secure so the kids couldn’t get out. Which additional adults the risk increases a lot. All it would take is for someone to go out and forget once or go out when they think the kids are asleep and 3 year could wander out. If I did go I’d be checking the door every 5 seconds and taking the kids room to room with me and have the kids sleep in the same room as me. It would not be a relaxing holiday.

I think a big difference is that there are three additional adults on the OP’s holiday. If it was just me and my husband and my children I think I could deal with it. I’d shut the doors at night and feel secure that my dh wouldn’t open them. But you can’t tell three adults that they can’t go outside again after the doors are locked when they are on holiday.

I don’t suppose anyone who goes on holiday or has a pool at home thinks that their child could drown in it because everyone thinks they will be watching and being vigilant all of the time.

If you can’t change it, if your pils are hands
off, you need to make sure between you and your husband you have things covered between you as soon as the back door is open for the 3 year old. Especially if pils will grab a coffee
take it into the garden and start reading scrolling.. before you know it the 3 year old is out. Don’t trust your pils at all it isn’t worth the risk. One way to make sure someone is lifeguard is that they exchange your phone for an object where they have eyes on the pool, like a wooden spoon, no bbq duties, no chit chat to anyone, no rearranging chairs, you’re a lifeguard and not to be distracted. better still be in there with them. Multiple family groups make it much harder for accountability. Remember drowning is completely silent. Especially at age 3.
Of course the best way to pool safety is to learn to swim, so get in the pool at every opportunity and make sure the 3 year old is
olay getting water in their face, blow bubbles, know to look for the edge of the pool even if they are only swimming 50cms if they fall in it’s lifesaving.
we moved into our house when my kids
were those ages and we had the fence up before we moved in, the 3 year old swam well quickly. We had a good system going for pool safety between us. But for a week I would think about changing the accommodation if you possibly can. I have fished quite a few kids out of public pools or water parks here and it was always completely silent and always because a parent was either on their phone, thought someone else was in charge of watching them
or they got talking. They honestly had no idea it was happening until I’d brought the spluttering kid up, they’d been mouth and nose and eyes submerged in the water but had started drifting out of their height into the deep end, because they were chatting at the edge of the water they didn’t even notice. Chilling.

Go and watch a TikToker called Veronica Drew. If you don’t cancel the villa after that I don’t know what to say.

Somebody made a mess of your booking didn't they. If it's not too late to cancel and rebook something else I would.

Another one saying either don't go or be prepared to be awake 24/7 to watch the children.

You literally will not sit down all holiday.

Even if the pils are apparently 'on', you can't trust them. They'll be in holiday mode. You cannot look after a toddler in holiday mode.

You can buy a pool alarm, I think Amazon sells them. Basically, any disturbance in the water and the alarm will go off. You can obviously remove it when you’re swimming.

Pool alarms are a thing, they are not cheap but the cost shared between the adults would bring that down.

You can also get children's life jackets.

I was a child who @timbitstimbytes could have rescued. In my case I was older, about 7 - 8. I was under water and kept trying to 'jump' up to say 'Help'. I realised no help was coming, I got suddenly calm and somewhere my brain told me to walk on the bottom of the pool until I got nearer the shallow end.

No way would I take kids there as others have said unless you watch them 24/7 you can't be sure nothing will happen that's why it's illegal to have a pool Here in Australia unless it has a fence

Who booked it? The number of adults may lead you into a false sense of security and/or lead to a door being left open. We did a small villa in Paxos with a shared pool when ours were 5 and 2 but it was just my husband and I who always had eyes on them. Plus the door was kept strictly closed and the pool was beyond a small gate from our villa that could not be opened by the kids. I’m afraid you won’t relax much but that’s the nature of this kind of holiday with children until they’re confident swimmers.

The Veronica Drew videos are absolutely heartbreaking!

I grew up with an in ground pool just a few metres away from the house and un fenced. We all survived, even the baby!

get water wings and if they’re anywhere near the pool put them on their arms.

And parent, basically.

Get your 3 yo used to water and start teaching them to swim in the shallow end. This will ensure if a child does fall in, they won’t be shocked - they’ll be used to the water.

Teach your DC not to scream in the water (boy who cried wolf and all that). Get them confident with being gently rocked about, even accidentally splashed. If introduced confidently to water most children love it - it’s very soothing to float in water.

You can start to teach your older DC to swim. Put on the water wings then get them in the water and hold them firmly under their tummy and encourage them to kick their leg, hold them firmly and whizz them around - my baby sister loved this and was swimming by the age of 4.

Humans float - what is dangerous is panicking in the water.

But really, you and your DH are going to have to be vigilant. It’s part of parenting.

Any advice other than to stay super vigilant on how to keep kids safe and allow us to relax as much as we can whilst they play?

Buy a pop-up playpen for the crawler.

Make toddler wear a life jacket at all times whilst they’re outside. And do not take eyes off them. At all.

You probably won’t be able to relax.