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Keeping toddlers safe around an unfenced villa pool on holiday

338 replies

OneProudCrab · 27/06/2026 23:01

Very excited to be going on our first family holiday to a villa. We have DS1 (3yr) and DS2 (13 months crawler). There will be PIL (but are fairly hands off parenting) and BIL with a baby also.

Ive started to get a bit paranoid about pool safety after hearing some terrible statistic that it is the number one cause of death in 1-3yr olds (think it was the US and haven't fact checked so it may be completely false but nevertheless I'm worried still).

The villa does not have a fence around it and I think the idea was to spend a lot of time in the outdoor shady area that is close but not directly overlooking the pool.

Any advice other than to stay super vigilant on how to keep kids safe and allow us to relax as much as we can whilst they play?

OP posts:
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Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 28/06/2026 06:44

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 28/06/2026 06:38

No it’s not. Getting the 3 year old to understand how to save themselves is probably the best thing they could do.

To be fair they could even have a go with the baby.

Mot learn how to fully swim, but how to fall in and kick to the side.

They have t said when they are going to. They’d be able to get it sorted if in August for example.

VIII · 28/06/2026 06:47

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 28/06/2026 06:44

They have t said when they are going to. They’d be able to get it sorted if in August for example.

Even if the holiday is in August it's unlikely a 3 year old would be able to save themselves and float by then, even with multiple trips to the pool each week.

Either way its ridiculous to put the onus on two small children to protect themselves around water.

Pockett · 28/06/2026 06:48

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 28/06/2026 06:44

They have t said when they are going to. They’d be able to get it sorted if in August for example.

and yet you say you would not ever book a swim up room in a hotel because I just wouldn’t because I’d be scared of my 4 year old somehow jumping in when I wasn’t looking.
whereas on this thread your gung ho about someone taking two younger children to an unfenced pool villa
😕 @Phonicshaskilledmeoff

Pockett · 28/06/2026 06:49

I wouldn’t WANT to go on holiday with the type of thoughtless fool who books an unfenced pool villa holiday knowing my two mobile toddlers were coming

IsThatAHedgehog · 28/06/2026 06:49

Good fucking lord.

Either buy (good quality) portable pool safety fences to take with you, or don't go. It is THAT simple.

No amount of "making sure they don't go near the water" when you aren't there is good enough, I'm afraid. It doesn't matter how much you watch them, or if you put tape on the door. They'll fucking leap in the water the second you need a piss/get a glass of water and they WILL find a way to get out of that door when you're asleep!

Kids are the sneakiest little shits known to man, and it is OUR responsibility to mitigate the risks associated with their absolute nonsense. Cos as much as they're little shitbags, they're our little shitbags. They're innocent, vulnerable little shitbags. They need us. And our JOB is to save them from themselves.

I am aghast at some of these comments (luckily the minority).

"I was brought up with an unfenced pool and we all survived", "it'll be fine just keep an eye on the kids (??)", "just parent".

Wowzer.

I have no further comment. Just fucking make sure those kids are safe please.

Bellavida99 · 28/06/2026 06:49

Too risky as other families are there too I wouldn’t go. If it was just you 4 I’d maybe go but keep door shut and spend more time than I want to indoors with door locked unless actually going for a swim. But with others around doors will be left open. The 3 year old will be able to take off a swim floatie vest so there’s no safe option to take your eyes off them for 1 second it’s impossible. For future bookings France and the States have laws pools must have fences and Spain holiday rentals must have fences so go to one of these places for a safer villa holiday.

Tronkmanton · 28/06/2026 06:50

Don’t go- it will be an exhausting holiday. Many years ago when my DC were around 4 and 6, my PILs booked a villa for 14 including us, and my DH’s 2 brothers who each had kids similar ages & younger. Unfenced pool & several doors leading straight out there. Our DC & their cousins shared a room, initially… My BIL’s DC woke up at around 4am every morning, obviously waking our DC up too. However BIL/SILs didn’t see the need to wake up too & supervise, or make their kids go back to bloody bed. So by the time I’d been up for 2 days at 4am supervising 6 kids, on holiday, I was losing my shit. I then made our kids sleep in our room- I dragged the mattresses off their beds into our room so at least we got a couple more hours sleep. But their kids were still up at silly o’clock unsupervised! The whole holiday was a disaster because of this. I had sense of humour failure as I was absolutely shattered. I couldn’t leave their kids unsupervised so I ended up watching them when our kids were in bed. PILs obviously useless as they’re on holiday mode, fair enough. I would never ever do that again.

littlesplurge · 28/06/2026 06:50

These comments are mental

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · 28/06/2026 06:51

OneProudCrab · 27/06/2026 23:01

Very excited to be going on our first family holiday to a villa. We have DS1 (3yr) and DS2 (13 months crawler). There will be PIL (but are fairly hands off parenting) and BIL with a baby also.

Ive started to get a bit paranoid about pool safety after hearing some terrible statistic that it is the number one cause of death in 1-3yr olds (think it was the US and haven't fact checked so it may be completely false but nevertheless I'm worried still).

The villa does not have a fence around it and I think the idea was to spend a lot of time in the outdoor shady area that is close but not directly overlooking the pool.

Any advice other than to stay super vigilant on how to keep kids safe and allow us to relax as much as we can whilst they play?

Unfortunately, I have heard many times in the past, that the more adults there are in a group outside by/near a pool, the more likely it is that a child may die. I know that at first glance that sounds counterintuitive, but the explanation is, that everyone thinks that with so many adults present, a vulnerable child will be watched at all times, and therefore completely safe. In reality, the opposite is very sadly often true, because everyone else thinks that someone else will be watching the child..

Also, although I don't want to sound like a party proper, no one should have any alcohol to drink until after the younger children are safely in bed, and with no chance of them being able to leave their room, and possibly escape to the swimming pool. I would not go on that sort of holiday unless at least 2 adults agree every day, to not drink alcohol at all on the day that they are in charge.

I'm not saying not to go, but if you are your child's only parent who will be there OP, then you are going to have to stay on high alert throughout the whole holiday. When Grandparents, or adult cousins, etc, offer to be in charge of a child, they are almost certainly telling the truth, or they think that they are, and very sadly all sorts of - maybe unexpected - distractions can occur. A horrible example of this has been reported on, in France as it happened, several times this last week. If so many parents can somehow manage to forget that they have tragically left their child locked up in their family car, outside in the blazing hot sunshine, then what real expectation can there be that a group of close family members, relaxing on holiday, and not believing that one day it could be one of their young beloved family members who ends up paying such a terrible price.

Please NB I was only using France as a tragic example, as it has sadly had at least 2 young children die in hot cars over the last week. But of course that also happens in nearly every country over the years: especially ones that are not used to such extremely hot weather! Some of those places include; the UK, parts of the USA, probably Canada, and almost certainly most of the other Northern European Countries.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 28/06/2026 06:51

A 13m AND 3yr old?
I am fairly relaxed but there is no way I'd go.

Having been on a resort holiday with a3
5 and 1.5 yr old last yr in a gradient 0-50cm pool we 100% needed 2 people (me and dh) fully focused on both kids and even then they slipped and went under frequently or trying to jump back in while we were on loungers / eating.

You will have ZERO relaxation watching both.

I cannot stress enough how little survival instincts my 2 children had 🫠

Parents who do not currently have toddlers do NOT get it and will nit effectively mind your children.

Also in a group everyone thinks someone is doing it... in reality no one is doing it...

Realistically...
Bil and Sil will be looking at their child.
Your dh will be expecting "a holiday" and catch up.
And even at their apex your pil dont do much (you flag this in the OP)

A "rota" will do fuck all except give you a false sense of security - your dh will have his back turned as he tells some anecdote to his brother. Your pil will have turned away "for a moment" to get their sunglasses / sun lotion / whatever.

Even once your child has fallen in and had to be fished out spluttering you'll be told "no harm done" and any concerns dismissed.
meanwhile your mind goes into overdrive about secondary drowning

Its a no from me.

The issue is you'll likely be labelled ny the group (inc your dh) as difficult / overreacting / hysterical despite being completely correct.

Marwoodsbigbreak · 28/06/2026 06:53

Cupcakegirl13 · 27/06/2026 23:15

There is absolutely no way I would holidays in a villa with an unfenced pool with non swimming children you won’t be able to relax end of !

Totally agree. Who on earth booked something so unsuitable? Can you change it?

unbuttonedowl · 28/06/2026 06:53

I would find somewhere else tbh. Kids drown in minutes and it is completely silent.

PurBal · 28/06/2026 06:55

We are going on holiday this summer to visit family friends and their pool isn’t fenced either. It’s been a cause of worry. My 5yo can swim enough to make himself safe and get out of the water but my 3yo can’t. We will need to remain vigilant. The room the children are staying in has no direct outdoor access (bungalow) and doors will remain locked unless we are outside.

Rainallnight · 28/06/2026 06:55

I would never have booked this villa in the first place.

hugasaurus · 28/06/2026 07:03

Adding my voice to the chorus. This is totally unsuitable. I could just about justify it if it was just me and DH (although we would never have booked somewhere like that in the first place) but extra adults you have no control over increase the risk massively. You cannot rest for a second, you can’t ever assume someone else is watching your child, you need to sleep with one eye open.

DozyCrow · 28/06/2026 07:08

Pockett · 28/06/2026 06:34

Who booked a villa with an unfenced pool knowing that toddlers would be coming @DozyCrow ?

Edited

It was a joint decision between the four adults, but we knew we would be a team with PIL helping to look after the DC. They were actually obsessed with their GC, so I was confident they'd be eagle eyed. I've had a few holidays in villas with unfenced pools, but we were always observant and had our rules - doors shut and windows open when inside, kids in arm bands or flotation devices when outside (took them off if playing games elsewhere outside but being watched), kids never allowed outside without an adult present. We also taught DC confidence in water from infancy and how to kick to the surface and roll on to their backs. This was 25ish years ago though, so we at least didn't have smart phones distracting us.

AussieManque · 28/06/2026 07:12

Have you asked the owners if they can install a temporary fence? Or looked locally to see if there is a provider of temporary fencing?

We've been avoiding pool villas for exactly this reason, it would be impossible to relax.

Muststopeating · 28/06/2026 07:12

We've been to loads of villas with very small children and unfenced pools.

Number 1 rule is doors to outside are kept closed at all times!

Start telling the 3 year old now that they are never ever allowed in the pool without a grownup.

My kids were normally pretty good at rules, even when they were very small - is yours?

Completely agree with the deliberate hand off of child watching responsibilities. But it must always be you or your husband. Other people forget/get distracted (I have one brother who is hyper vigilant but wouldn't trust anyone else). A rota is mental but it does need to be "Bob, I am going for a shower now... You have the kids". And wait for confirmation.

You will get more comfortable as time goes on, so don't let your guard down.

Having villas with pools is one of the reasons that all my kids could swim from a young age. As long as you are both careful parents it'll be fine. If you were going with a massive group including other children who were more likely to leave the door open or heavy drinkers then I'd reconsider.

ChampagneLassie · 28/06/2026 07:13

im Sorry @OneProudCrab youte probably feeling terrified right now. I’d never book this type of holiday for exactly this reason . It is the no1 killer of kids in US. If you can’t cancel I’d take many if suggestions s and I’d get DH to speak to PIL and emphasis your concerns in advance. Drum in to try get them on board with helping.

sharkstale · 28/06/2026 07:19

Agree that you won't be able to relax at all.

We've just got an inflatable pool for the garden this heatwave. I turned my back on my toddler for literally 2 seconds and he slipped on the bottom of the pool and went under the water. Luckily I'd turned back round just in time to see him go under and grabbed his arm and pulled him out. And I'm already extra vigilant with him. It was literally 2 seconds.
I wouldn't trust anyone else to keep a proper watch either.

TheStepboardisfullofbitteroddos · 28/06/2026 07:23

We did this holiday with the similar ages.

Pil have a villa with doors to a large pool from nearly every room. Villa is built around a pool courtyard and then all open plan living with open mezzanine. Nightmare for stress levels. Mine were climbers so the 3yo couldn't be contained, could get out of travel cot even with a sleeping bag.

My sil and fil were completely clueless and just wanted a good time so the idea of shutting doors behind them was too much. It was so stressful, even when I thought kids were safe I'd turn around and the doors were open. I actually felt safer at the beach than at the house as we went out a lot. Dp was working whilst there so i was doing solo care a lot.

It was ok when we'd been previously with 1 small moving child but once there were 2 it was just tricky and we haven't been back since.

I'd recommend a playpen for outdoors to at least contain the smallest- take it over as a piece of child luggage- you get 2 per kid normally but you get get 2 car seats on one big car seat bag. And you could potentially combine other bits if you needed. Or get an ikea order of kid bits delivered to the villa, which is what we did. Get a proper high chair for them both so they can be strapped in if you have to cook/ clean up whilst looking after them. Maybe some travel babygates- none would fit at my pils as every set of doors are large sleek sliding one.

Ds fell in the pool twice but both times I was in arms reach and pulled him out without needed to even move. I would say the first fall really helped make him cautious!

TooHotMyIcecreamHasMelted · 28/06/2026 07:23

Where is the villa? There’s a rule in some countries (eg France) that pools have to have either a fence or a pool alarm - does it have an alarm even if not a fence?

DaisyChain505 · 28/06/2026 07:24

I wouldn’t be staying in a villa that didn’t have a fence around the pool with young children. It’s an insanely dangerous decision.

AlphaApple · 28/06/2026 07:30

I would do it but always have a 1:1 ratio of adults and kids outside. You and your husband couldn’t tag team for example.

Bitzee · 28/06/2026 07:32

Where is the villa? If it’s somewhere like the EU then if it isn’t gated then legally it will have to have a heavy duty cover that can comfortably take the weight of an adult walking on it. We have a lot of family in the south of france. I don’t know anyone with a pool fence, they all have the cover. So daytime you always agree who is watching the DC (and I would stick to just swapping over between you and DH if the in laws can be absent minded) to the point of I’m going to the loo, you’re watching him now. Nighttime you close the cover.
Now if this isn’t in Europe and there isn’t a cover I would book elsewhere as the worry would just disturb my sleep too much for the holiday to be enjoyable.