My 17yo daughter is upset I didn’t invite her on the annual family holiday

[OliveKoala]

Is it reasonable I did not invite my eldest 17 year old daughter on the family holiday. She has been on every previous family holiday with us however this year as she’s is finishing with Alevels she’s booked two holidays as rewards for her efforts, her first holiday has been completely self funded, where as her second holiday I offered to pay for the flights.

Due to her already having two holidays booked I thought it’d be unfair if she came on the family holiday aswell. Unless she paid for it, which I’m aware she can’t do as her job pays extremely poorly. A few months ago we had a discussion as a family about the idea of a family holiday and briefly arose the possibility of her not coming due to it overlapping with her holidays. However no further progress was made.

This morning I booked the holiday however before I booked it I did ask her when her holidays ended, so she would be back for when the family holiday happens. However this led her to believe we wanted her back so she could join us on the holiday? However this is not the case I just didn’t want our holidays to overlap for practical reasons. Now she seems visibly hurt and has argued with me calling me unreasonable?

I know @ReenaGee I cannot believe MN have left it up.

Unsure as to what their criteria is to actually remove a thread which is so obviously BS.

May be a newbie monitoring?

eta; cos all the seasoned watchers are on their easter break?

So you no longer consider her family? Wow! You sound horrible and I feel very sorry for your daughter. I hope the boyfriend’s family are nice and she can quickly cut you off after she goes to uni

I feel like your daughter is starting to have her own life and spreading her wings and you’re holding it against her for some strange reason. Like her loyalty to your family is coming into question because she sees her BF twice a week and self funds a holiday or 2.

Oh gosh this is sad. Hopefully seeing these responses will make you think again and amend the holiday booking so all of your children can go.

There is something very odd about this post.

She might not need to go on a family holiday, but assuming as implied that the rest of the family aren't also going on her other holidays is it so wrong for her to want to spend time with you? Her going away with friends doesn't mean she should be excluded from quality time with the rest of you. She may not have booked the two holidays if she knew it would result in her being left out of the family trip; I doubt she intended a holiday with her friends to be a replacement for time with her close family.

@morellamalessdrama

@OliveKoala doesn't seem to have the capability of introspection.

But she'll be ok, her boys will look out for her in later life, cos they contribute more!!

Yeah, good luck with that one @OliveKoala

What is the issue with wearing a coat?

Does anyone need to go on holiday at all? Are holidays rationed?
To be honest it just sounds like you don’t like her much.

Why do I get the feeling that our dear OliveKoala is in fact Keith from Ipswich?

Aplogies to all those called Keith and all from Ipswich .

You sound weirder with every update. I feel really sorry for your daughter.

She's 17 and you've made it clear that you don't want her to be part of a family holiday. No real reason, you just think she's having enough trips this year?

Tha horrible of you, no wonder she's upset.

Oh bless her. That’s really unkind of you.

who tf is Keith frae Ipswich? Is this a Suffolk centric reference @CagneyNYPD1? 😂

Nah- no longer believe this and am awaiting the mumsnet “we’re checking things out behind the scenes” post ..

So you're basically pushing her out the door.

Oh dear, OP. You need to have a big rethink here.

You asked if you were being unreasonable, you've been told repeatedly that you are but you won't accept it and keep giving what you consider are reasons to not invite her.
I'm not sure exactly where it is, but I think you must have meant to post this in the 'please agree with me' section.

Incidentally, you've just hurt your child.

They did that already.

I’m convinced this is a troll post. It is Easter bank holiday after all and some pre-teens might think this is a funny way to while away the time. The 2025 equivalent of prank calls

Have reported to admin

@FiletMignon it was reported at 1pm and hidden.

MN have since re-instated. I'm baffled too

Just waiting for the deletion message when MNHQ realise that this is a troll.

Yes to this.

Any show of disloyalty or natural distancing is immediately punished.

In years to come, the OP will be back crying that the rest of the brood are showing no signs of leaving home at ages 27, 31, 35, and wondering whether turning off the wifi would do the trick.

Oh!
In that case, I’m gobsmacked

Wow!!!!! Do you not want her to actually come? She is 17. Still part of the family. And saying you don’t want her away when you are for “practical reasons” so basically she is house sitting for you. I think that’s really horrible actually and sad … (not read the whole thread in case I’ve missed something)

Just waiting for the deletion message when MNHQ realise that this is a troll
I hope it is a troll and that no mum is that stupid and spiteful.