Parents' names on UK child passport? Documents for a parent with different surname?

[ParentOfOne]

Our children have my surname; my wife has a different surname. Every single time my wife travels with our children without me, UK border guards give her grief about the different surname. Every. Single. Time.

So two questions:

1. Has anyone ever managed to add the parents' names in the 'notes' section of a British child passport, when applying for a new one? This is what some European countries do; it is so straightforward, inexpensive, and just makes everyone's life so much easier. We asked once, and they told us no.

2. How does a parent with a different surname travel with their children but without the other parent? We always bring the kids' UK birth certificates, which show both parents' names, but, even so, border guards give my wife grief, with silly comments on how easy it is to fake birth certificates. Then why do you not add the parents' names to the passports? It's not our fault if the only document the UK provides (birth certificate) is easy to fake!!

To be clear, I get it that it's important to ensure children are not abducted etc, I totally get it. What I don't get is giving grief because the only document that shows both parents' names is easy to fake.

Oh, and the fact that too many people in the UK still give weird looks to a married woman who has dared keep her surname (this has happened a lot in other circumstances, too). I should add we are all the same race and all UK citizens, so ours isn't one of those cases where the children look nothing like the mother (which I get would warrant higher scrutiny at the border).

by “give her grief” do you mean simply confirm that she is the children’s mother and has a right to take her children abroad give she doesn’t have their surname?

ie looking out for the children and indeed your interests

I think the addition of parents names yo a child's passport would be very sensible. Just same surname doesn't mean related...

‘Grief’? If they are aggressive and rude and hold her up for more than 15 minutes you can complain. Otherwise just accept that a few standard questions are reasonable and nothing to worry about.
Border Force officers won’t exactly find this an unusual or interesting situation. It happens constantly and they have to do their due diligence.
I always just took a photocopied sheet with copy of his passport on and a couple of scribbled lines from him saying he was aware his children were travelling with me and here are his contact details for any query. I never got any ‘grief’.

She needs to carry their full birth certificates and a consent letter from you. Same advice even with the same surname.

Both my children share a surname with their (foreign) father, but not with me. I've never experienced an issue when travelling alone with them, although I can imagine others may have different experience.

Surely in this day and age it is relatively common for one or other parent and children not to share a surname? Many parents won't be married, of those that are, many don't change their names, many women also revert back to their maiden names after divorce. In some other countries it is also quite common for women not to change their names upon marriage.

I have a different surname from my DS and often travel with him. Only once has an officer asked a question (entering the UK), and he then advised me to carry a copy of the birth certificate, which I always do now. I haven't been asked for it yet though.

What do you mean by grief? As pp say - a few questions to check is reasonable, extended interviews with aggression is not.

Its a very common scenario and always has been. We always kept copies of birth certs etc when traveling but rarely used them.

Is this one particular point of departure?

Is this a UK requirement? I understand this is a requirement in some countries but I have never heard of it being a requirement in the UK.

Do you have any source confirming it is a requirement in the UK? Or is it not a requirement but you do it anyway?

A birth certificate is relatively easy to fake, but a generic consent letter all the more so, unless it is notarised in some way?

Have you every actually used one, as in, did UK border guards ever request it?

I have a different surname to my children and I always travel with their birth certificates and my marriage certificate. So far that has been enough.

https://www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad

Yes, as indicated above, the UK requirement is for a consent letter. For some countries (I think Canada, South Africa) having the letter notarised is required. I did it when I travelled to the US but have never been asked for the letter, only the birth certificate.

It would make eminent sense to add the parents' names to the notes section of the child's passport, and I feel as if some people on MN have managed to achieve this?

IME copies of legal documents were useful across a number of borders, not just UK.

Borders staff need to be satisfied that children are traveling legally and with the consent of their parents/guardians. Its irrelevant whether they are required for travel by law - just take copies of everything along with your tickets, travel plans, insurance details etc.

You could also change the DC name to align with your wife if she does the bulk of the traveling with children, or a name which reflects both of your names. IME this leads to less validation checks across any borders but that is just anecdotal.

Thank you all for the replies. It seems everyone on this thread has had more straightforward experiences, so I can only hope that ours is not representative and may have been some bad luck.

No, by 'grief' I don't mean a couple of questions, but a combination of:

• extensive questioning on why she didn't change her surname; surely that is a personal decision that doesn't need to be justified to the authorities?
• taking away the birth certificates for quite a long time to inspect them, as if they suspected a fake. Note they were issued by a UK borough and were in good conditions
• refusal to answer the question of what more secure document, showing parents' names, the UK provides, if birth certificates are so easy to fake

To be honest at some point we wondered if one of us happens to have the same name as some criminal or someone known to social services and if this triggers some artificial stupidity algorithm in the Borderforce computers.

I would also note that:

• when I travel with the kids without my wife, I am rarely, if ever, questioned on anything. It's as if they assumed that a woman without her kids' surnames, even if with birth certificates proving parenthood, were somehow higher risk than a man with the same surname.
• Unlike in the EU Schengen area, there is no passport control on leaving the country.
• I do not understand the passport office's refusal to add parents' names. It would cost them nothing.
• I could have snatched a nephew or niece with my same surname easily, as the border guards never asked me for a birth certificate or proof of parental responsibility
• We lost count of the number of times people asked us if we were really married, or why our surnames were different, etc, so I suspect a very British prejudice / closed-mindedness in finding it odd that a married couple doesn't have the same surname may have played a role. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it, I don't know.

If it were the other way around - men getting stopped and asked about their children it would be sorted. The simple answer is for women to give their children their surname.

However given, reading threads on here, how many women can't do this for various reasons, then yes passports need to be updated to show both parents names as per the birth certificate. If a man can change his sex marker on a passport then it can't be that difficult to add both parents names. In fact it would be logical.

I've never really understood why when a first passport is issued we aren't given a number/identifier that stays with us, like an NI number. It's ridiculous that the passport number changes each time it would also be better if our birth name was always on the passport and the married name just added on.

I have a different surname to my Dcs and am also a different nationality with a different passport. I often travel alone with them. I always carry a letter from DH confirming that he has given permission, and my marriage certificate and their birth certificates. I've only been asked once for it. Which surprises me a very great deal tbh as we travel abroad alot. Once DS2 was asked ; 'Is this your mummy?' But that was years ago- he was about 3 and non-verbal at that stage!

I consider travelling with all these documents a mild inconvenience. But no more so than carrying a passport as it is. Adding parents names to a child's passport has merit I guess.

Oh- and no your wife does not have to justify why she did not change her name to anyone. It;s not that uncommon anyway- plenty of nationalities don't change their names.

The only time I got grief for this was years ago at the post office when I was trying to get Euros out. The post mistress informed me that it was 'illegal' to not change your name on marriage and she would have to 'inform the authorities'. I am afraid I collapsed with laughter and that pissed her off immensely.

What's your ethnic/national background, OP? Just wondering because sadly it seems likely that this could be a factor.

I'm American (but naturalised UK) and have a different surname to my child. Presenting a birth certificate has always been sufficient for us. My child also looks exactly like me and clings to me for dear life in social situations, which may help!

*and your wife's background, as this obviously may have more relevance

We’ve had 5 children. They have my name not their father’s and not once in 27 years and frequent airline travel have we been stopped in UK. Stopped once between Switzerland and France but that was it.
It, as you say, is odd in this day and age. In the UK I don’t have any friends who have taken their husband’s name . It’s totally normal.

I’m surprised by your experience with not changing her surname. I haven’t changed my name and it’s never caused a single issue or comment. She needs to take marriage certificate and a letter from you. And just expect it to happen, they’re doing their job. And how often is she travelling on her own, if you’re both from Uk (eg not visiting family abroad). I think you’re making a bit of a big deal of this.

This is why I am keeping my married name on my passport until the kids are 18, otherwise I would have to travel with their Dad’s death certificate which is a bit macabre for a holiday.

Would you consider changing the children’s names, either to double barrel their surname or to add your wife’s surname as a middle name? Or would your wife consider double barrelling her surname, using the new double barrelled surname on the passport but just using her existing name in every day life?

I know lots of people hate double barrelled surnames but this sort of situation was one of the reasons I did it. I never have to explain to school, GP, extra curricular activities etc that I am my child’s mother because they share half of their surname with me.

Question: If you've double barrelled your children's name, has anyone ever queried it?

I’ve had people tell me they think double barrelled names are stupid/ridiculous but that doesn’t bother me in the slightest- the world would be boring if we all thought the same. Or I get asked “what happens when they marry someone else with a double barrelled surname?” Well, the answer to that is that I imagine as adults my children might want to drop one surname from day to day use anyway and I’m sure they and their spouse can figure out a solution, whether that’s take one surname from each of them and combine, or just choose one of the names. I’m sure they’ll cope.

School refer to me as “Miss” and presumably think I’m not married to my husband (I use Ms as a title) but, again, that doesn’t bother me.

Is this a race issue? I’ve never been asked a single question, yet alone asked to present my kids birth certificate, yet I have a different surname to my kids. Is it just a coincidence or is it white privilege?