Parents' names on UK child passport? Documents for a parent with different surname?

[ParentOfOne]

Our children have my surname; my wife has a different surname. Every single time my wife travels with our children without me, UK border guards give her grief about the different surname. Every. Single. Time.

So two questions:

1. Has anyone ever managed to add the parents' names in the 'notes' section of a British child passport, when applying for a new one? This is what some European countries do; it is so straightforward, inexpensive, and just makes everyone's life so much easier. We asked once, and they told us no.

2. How does a parent with a different surname travel with their children but without the other parent? We always bring the kids' UK birth certificates, which show both parents' names, but, even so, border guards give my wife grief, with silly comments on how easy it is to fake birth certificates. Then why do you not add the parents' names to the passports? It's not our fault if the only document the UK provides (birth certificate) is easy to fake!!

To be clear, I get it that it's important to ensure children are not abducted etc, I totally get it. What I don't get is giving grief because the only document that shows both parents' names is easy to fake.

Oh, and the fact that too many people in the UK still give weird looks to a married woman who has dared keep her surname (this has happened a lot in other circumstances, too). I should add we are all the same race and all UK citizens, so ours isn't one of those cases where the children look nothing like the mother (which I get would warrant higher scrutiny at the border).

I used to work on child abduction (not, unfortunately, for border force or anywhere I could make a difference to this stuff) and I agree with most of what you’ve said!

No passport checks leaving the country - massive risk for abductions.

Checking passports when names don’t match - ridiculous because in virtually every parental abduction case I dealt with everyone had the same surname.

Not having parents names in passports - a really easy security measure that virtually everyone working in this area wants to make happen, except for the people who actually can make it happen.

Totally useless guidance - e.g. carry a letter (easily forged!) from the other parent.

But I would point out to various posters that yes, British children being abducted TO the UK is a big problem, when they’re being taken by a parent from their home abroad.

I have an Asian friend who has a Romanian girlfriend. They live together and have visas to work in the UK (they both work) but neither is a UK citizen. They are stopped and quizzed very often when entering the UK - basically border authorities want to ensure he is not some kind of pimp. It may be unfortunate, it may even seem aggravating, but it is not completely meaningless, because unfortunately young women from that country do get trafficked (more than women from other countries) and Asian-Romanian couples are not, it seems, particularly common. So I get why they are stopped, and I get why they are stopped more than other couples.

But a UK citizen entering the UK with children and with birth certificates saying those children are his/hers?

Does this mean that, next time my wife takes them abroad without me, I can ring the border authorities and tell them I don't want them back in the country? :)

I wonder if the border police can check on the spot things like:

whether the child is registered with a GP, and whether the child is enrolled in a school or home-schooled (it s easier to hide abuse and other horrible stuff when a child is home-schooled).

I mean, surely a child with UK citizenship, entering the UK, registered with a GP, enrolled in a school, not known to social services etc should not be high risk?

@DreamItDoIt
"I've never really understood why when a first passport is issued we aren't given a number/identifier that stays with us, like an NI number."

These issues have been solved by most countries in continental Europe, which have compulsory ID cards, often reporting some unique identifier like a fiscal code / national insurance equivalent, which is often assigned at birth.

Bear in mind that, with this system, all the horror stories of the Windrush scandal would have simply not been possible, because there would have never been any ambiguity on the citizenship status of anyone.

But talking to (most) Brits about ID cards is like talking to (most) Texans about gun control :)

The irony is that, IN THEORY, the good liberal freedom-loving UK doesn't require any kind of compulsory ID. IN PRACTICE, not only are we much more tracked than our European cousins (CCTV everywhere, credit reference agencies sharing more data on us, etc), but proving citizenship (eg when starting a job or renting a flat) ranges from tough to impossible without a passport!!! Oh, and you could get a citizenship certificate, but that costs more than a passport!!

how often does your wife travel without you?

I get questioned every time I travel to the UK about my DD who has a different surname, but not about my DS who has the same name. I carry documents for both of them anyway and a consent letter from DS's dad and after I show those its fine (don't have birth certificates like in the UK, instead notarised excerpts from population register so probably harder to forge)

Does this mean that, next time my wife takes them abroad without me, I can ring the border authorities and tell them I don't want them back in the country?

My DD's dad once rang the border control (of my country, not British border control) to say he refused consent for her to travel and they had to stop us at passport control (because my country checks passports on exit, like they should). Luckily after explaining the situation they decided he didn't have a good enough reason to refuse consent and let us go on the next flight.

are you saying that the father said he didn’t give consent to travel

and you just explained the situation (presumably said he was lying) and they waved you through with no further checks?

I'd say that the kids travel about half the time with both of us, 25% of the time with just me, and 25% of the time with just my wife.

Can the husband's name be added to the notes section of a UK passport? Does this make a difference?

To be clear, I do NOT mean changing the name. The passport would still be in the name of "Jane X", but the 'observation' section would have something about Jane being married to a Mr X.

They called him to ask his reason for refusing consent, and decided based on that, and my explanation, that his reasons weren't sufficient.

i meant is it a yearly occurrence she travels alone? or much more regularly?

ah relief to know they at least called!

@Natsku Not only does the UK NOT check documents when leaving the country, it also allows one parent only to apply for a child passport.

So, if the children don't have passports because they don't travel anywhere, I could theoretically apply for and get a child passport without my wife' consent nor knowledge, and use it to take the kid(s) abroad.

Many other countries require the authorisation of both parents when applying for a child passport.

Not just that, but some countries require the consent of the other parent(s) when you apply for your own adult passport - the rationale being a combination of preventing child abduction and preventing a parent from fleeing from their parental / alimony responsibility by going abroad.

I'd say a couple of times a year.

So twice a year she travels solo with them (does she have family in another country?)

and both times she “gets grief”?

• *extensive questioning on why she didn't change her surname; surely that is a personal decision that doesn't need to be justified to the authorities?*

she must always be interviews by officials close to retirement!!

This sounds extremely tedious! I can't believe people are needing to carry birth and marriage certificates as a matter of course! Damn!

Yeah it would be worrying if they didn't call and check first but I'm glad they had the power to overrule because he was just doing it to hurt me (he had signed a consent letter and said it was absolutely fine then called at the last minute so that I couldn't cancel the flights and get money back)

It is concerning that the UK doesn't require both parents consent when applying for a passport, as well as not checking documents when leaving the country - they only seem to care when you're entering. Though the first time I travelled with my daughter and I didn't know there would be a problem they did let us through after telling me to bring a birth certificate the next time. She looks like a mini version of me though which probably helped!

You can be sure that after I’d pushed 2 babies out of my body, they were going to have my surname! Why should they have their father’s name? And whats with the list youve added?

I have a different surname to my DH OP, and I have also been given grief by UK border control on returning to the Uk when travelling without DH.

By "given grief" I mean by my children being gruffly questioned about "who's this woman you're travelling with then?" (They have been quite frightened). I've also been given a hard time by border control staff about why I haven't changed my surname, and told it's not acceptable to be married for this long and not changed it. I've had to give a detailed justification of my decision not to change my name, which is really neither here nor there from a child protection perspective, but when your children are tired and scared it's difficult to challenge authority figures.

I always travel with:

• children's birth certificate
• my marriage certificate
• a letter from my DH with permission to travel. The letter includes my and our DC's details, DH's details and contact details and a photocopy of DH's passport.

I've never had trouble leaving the country or arriving in other countries, only on arriving back in the UK.

no where, no where does the OP day or even allude to his partner not being happy with the current status quo

Despite all being fine, you had to pay for alternative flights as a result of being questioned?

I have a different surname and nationality to my DD, I normally carry a letter signed by my ex partner saying he has agreed for me to take her on holiday, dates, contact details etc (just found a template online) and her birth certificate. I have yet to actually be asked for either and I think I've been away with her 3 times now.
Further, my mum has a different surname to me as she is remarried and we were never in 15 or so years asked for anything when travelling with her as minors!

Oh no, if he had succeeded I would have lost my money, but the border guards just put me on the next flight and I didn't have to pay any extra (don't know what they did to sort that out, they never said, just said it was all taken care of)