Parents' names on UK child passport? Documents for a parent with different surname?

[ParentOfOne]

Our children have my surname; my wife has a different surname. Every single time my wife travels with our children without me, UK border guards give her grief about the different surname. Every. Single. Time.

So two questions:

1. Has anyone ever managed to add the parents' names in the 'notes' section of a British child passport, when applying for a new one? This is what some European countries do; it is so straightforward, inexpensive, and just makes everyone's life so much easier. We asked once, and they told us no.

2. How does a parent with a different surname travel with their children but without the other parent? We always bring the kids' UK birth certificates, which show both parents' names, but, even so, border guards give my wife grief, with silly comments on how easy it is to fake birth certificates. Then why do you not add the parents' names to the passports? It's not our fault if the only document the UK provides (birth certificate) is easy to fake!!

To be clear, I get it that it's important to ensure children are not abducted etc, I totally get it. What I don't get is giving grief because the only document that shows both parents' names is easy to fake.

Oh, and the fact that too many people in the UK still give weird looks to a married woman who has dared keep her surname (this has happened a lot in other circumstances, too). I should add we are all the same race and all UK citizens, so ours isn't one of those cases where the children look nothing like the mother (which I get would warrant higher scrutiny at the border).

Children should have their mother's name.

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I have the same surname as my kids. I have been stopped and questioned when travelling alone with them - although not as extensively as it sounds your wife is.

Do you think after the first, random questioning your wife could be projecting wariness or concern about bring stopped again, and border control are picking up on that?

I hear the OP re the frustration. I travel solo frequently with my children - kept my own name. And my interactions with boarder guards have been problematic at times - never rude - but up to 20 minute delays at pre boarding (which when you are standing in a line, managing two toddlers under three by yourself and expected to keep them close to you in a crowded hall, is beyond stressful), while they examine extra documents (birth certs and letters) and half “lecture/moan” about the need to do so. I suspect in my case it’s because our kids (EU) passports have newborn photos - but again, they are still valid so doesn’t make sense to update them.

It really would be a simple solution to add parents names to passports. Instead I’ve been looking into doubling-barreling kids surnames to have them match me too!

@withthischoice did you even read this post? 😅

the purpose is to prevent child abduction/ trafficking so the logic of your argument is that white British children are less protected from this happening to them if white British women are waved through customs.
i have a different surname to my kids and like others carry birth certificates with my name on and understand the purpose of the checks is to protect children so I don’t get dramatic about it.
my kids are adults now anyway so it’s a problem that does go away and resolve itself eventually!

yes! 😂

there is no “should” about it

Was this reply meant for me?

Maybe I didn't explain myself clearly. I totally get the need for the checks, I'm not questioning that. I am questioning the different treatment between father and mother, and the fact that UK authorities cannot give grief (and, again, no, by that I don't mean a couple of questions) if the one and only document they provide to prove parenthood (the birth certificate) is easy to fake, while at the same time refusing to provide a harder-to-fake document, like printing the parents' names in the passports.

Also, I was talking about coming back to the UK, not leaving the UK. The British authorities, unlike most European ones, never check passport when leaving the country (at least in the airports) so I can't say they tale the risk of child abduction as seriously as other countries.

Are you white? I'm white and come from a native English speaking country. I don't share a surname with my kids and I've never been stopped. What I have learned is that agents vary SO much. Some are just horrendous and will happily give you the third degree because they are on some sort of power trip.

This link talks about the need for parental consent to take children abroad.

It also implies, without saying it clearly, that one parent cannot take a child abroad without the consent of the other parent.

It says nothing about the need for a parent to formalise this consent in any specific document any time the other parent travels with the children.

And it's all a moot point anyway, because the UK, unlike all EU Schengen countries, does NOT check passports on departure (so I'd rather be spared the lectures on how seriously the UK takes child abductions - it does not), and because we were talking about coming BACK INTO the UK.

"Officer, don't let my children fly abroad without my consent" I understand.

"Officer, don't let my UK children come back into the UK where I also live" I do not understand :)

I have had this issue a few times, always when coming back home to the UK weirdly never leaving. My daughter has a different surname, I just take her birth certificate, the border force ask her questions and job done. However once she was old enough to go through the biometric gates, no questions have been asked since.

For all those who asked: we are all white and the kids look a fair bit like us. To be clear, I am not saying that non-white persons are higher risk in any way, I am simply saying that I wouldn't be surprised if non-white persons were treated unfairly and more harshly by border officials. I have seen many cases of that.

I understand that mixed races and cases of children not looking at all like their parents warrant higher scrutiny. This is also why we got new passports when the kids were 2, because those newborn photos looked nothing like them.

And no, we would not change anyone's name. Not only because, well, why on earth should we, but also because those poor kids would have to spend the rest of their lives filling in paperwork on what their previous names were when and why.

I understand the issue that’s why my children have a double barrelled name- they are more than welcome to drop my surname once 18. It is ridiculous assuming a married woman should have her husbands name, equally as ridiculous defaulting the husbands to children.

Do single parents with the same name need written agreement from the other parent to take the children abroad?

I have never requested permission from my daughter's dad to take her abroad.

OP, I get what you're saying. I wouldn't say I've had "grief" but I do find the questions a bit irritating, especially as it always also seems to be on my RETURN to this country. Which always makes me want to shout "well, it's a bit late to check I haven't been abducting my own children as we're now on our way back". I always travel with their birth certificate as well as a copy of our marriage certificate.

I would say that if your wife is getting more than a few questions and a careful examination of the birth certificate that yes, it might well be that there's some reason such as their names/her name possibly? Or, if she's anything like my SIL, does she inadvertently come across as aggressive/defensive from the start (SIL is always ranting about how unhelpful HMRC is which made no sense to me as I find them quite helpful and then I overheard one of her calls.... ).

Profiling or other things that flag are often completely out of your control though. DH is mediterranean and travels on a mediterranean passport but when he's very tanned he could easily pass for Middle Eastern. In the past (think early 2000s), we learnt very very quickly that anywhere we went over the summer was likely to lead to him getting a whole lot more questions at every single border we crossed, in any direction. It's a profiling thing. Not cool, but nonetheless real.

Re the letter, I think that in the real world, consent is implied. BUT... if you wanted to stop your wife from taking the DC, you could alert the authorities and then if she didn't have a letter that would be a problem.

Yep, the farce of only ever getting asked for proof of our relationship on the return to the UK has not passed us by either. Apparently the major child abduction crime is British people smuggling British children into the UK?

By the way, I've never carried an original birth certificate, only a photocopy. We have been asked for proof about 80% of the time coming back into the country, but nothing like the grief it sounds like your wife has got, I've certainly never been asked why I have a different surname from my DS.

Plus the 'different names' thing is a red herring. Everyone travelling with children is required to have proof of permission to travel, unless all parties with parental responsibility are present. (Or unless there is a child arrangement order, but getting divorced purely to be able to travel seems extreme). However in practice it is nearly always parents with a different surname that get asked.

Yep, the farce of only ever getting asked for proof of our relationship on the return to the UK has not passed us by either. Apparently the major child abduction crime is British people smuggling British children intothe UK?

Yeah, while carrying large mementos of weekends away in Spain or sporting T-Shirts saying, "I went to Paris and all I got was this t-shirt".

I did get asked a few pointed questions on arrival in Germany once. It was quite refreshing!

Oh lucky you @JadziaD . I've only ever entered Germany with DS when already in Schengen so no questions for us. And now he's 18! Surprisingly he didn't go along with my plan to spend his birthday going on the Eurostar to Brussels purely so we could turn around and come back and I could run through passport control shouting TOO LATE SUCKERS.

We got the same questions and interrogation when traveling together with DS before we were married. Ie husband was sleepy and me scientist DS sleepy-scientist.

I was given the 3rd degree recently coming back into the UK with my 16 year old. No questions on the way out of UK or into the destination, but returning I was quizzed leaving the country about whether said child is mine, where her father was, whether I was married and did I have any proof.

Child has the same surname as me and is my double.

Coming into UK her passport wouldn't work in the automatic tills, despite being a new one with a chip. The man at the desk asked if she was travelling alone then demanded I stand next to her while he double and triple checked both passports and looked at both of us.

As there is another thread about a 16 yo flying alone I wonder what would have happened had she been travelling solo. Would they have detained her?

I could understand this on the way out, or if she were very young but it seemed like overkill given the situation.

Many other countries insist on the consent letter from the non travelling parent to be witnessed by a notary.

There is no border control check on leaving the UK but the API inserted at check-in has flagged any suspicions. Just because you don't realise you've been checked, doesn't mean you haven't.

The border officer asking your wife why she didn't change her name upon marriage should be reported as re-training is necessary.

"So, you didn't change your name when you got married?"
"Why didn't you change your name when you got married?"

Be interesting to hear the exact words. All interventions are filmed, so the Border officials can dig out the altercation for clarification.

Immigration 101, beginner's level: border officers stop men travelling alone with minors (for obvious reasons) statistically far far more often than they stop women doing the same. It is a question often asked at interview. Who should you look out for at airports? Brown man with rucksack? Single man with child? The one most likely to be up to no good is the second.

Surnames are irrelevant. It's lone adults travelling cross border with minors.

Passports do contain parental information for minors. Of sorts. A status check with the passport agency confirms how the minor acquired British Citizenship in order to be eligible to have a passport. Can you imagine the queues if that was done for every mother (or father) who didn't know about the requirement to have a consent letter?

Still, you know now OP. Happy travels.

No, they wouldn't have detained her. They would have checked to see why her e-passport wasn't working.

You were held back at the UK border for that reason. Not because you were bringing a 16 year old in.

The questioning you received in the other country is nothing to do with UK border control.

Me too. Although with my partners nephew whose surname was completely different. He was 15 so perfectly able to articulate he was happy. We were asked for proof but only had a letter of authority from his mother in the event of any medical treatment being needed whilst on holiday with us.

I wanted to point out he was travelling on a British passport into the U.K. so what were they going to do? Refuse him entry? I kept my mouth shut though. I never antagonise border control.

There is no border control check on leaving the UK but the API inserted at check-in has flagged any suspicions. Just because you don't realise you've been checked, doesn't mean you haven't.

But those suspicions can be clarified without tasking the parent any questions?!

It's irritating on your return to the UK because there shouldn't BE any, or very many, suspicions when an English person, with English children, RETURN to the country.

Sensible suggestion OP. The government changed the rules around 2012 which is why some posters haven’t been questioned. They also seem to stop asking once the child turns 12. Sadly none of this stops child trafficking, it’s just used to scare mums. I would find it less of an issue if all adults with children were asked, not just mums with different surnames.