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Who and how much to tip (USA)

271 replies

SleepDreamThinkHuge · 28/03/2023 11:52

Hi,

I am thinking of going to USA maybe this summer or early next year. Thinking of New York or California.

Of course the USA has a different tipping culture to UK. In the USA, when you go how much do you generally tip, who do you tip?

OP posts:
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6
YouJustDoYou · 02/04/2023 12:28

tip EVERYTHING, even if they just open a bottle in a bar you're supposed to pay the for that. Also, I got my wedding bouquet delivered to my room, which was supposed to happen, didn't know I was also supposed to tip for that. Just....give them money for every little thing, all the time, I guess.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 02/04/2023 12:29

Be careful tipping with their banknotes - which all look IDENTICAL to me. I thought I had tipped a $1 in a nightclub, then left to find I’d tipped $50 by mistake 😫(yes I was a bit drunk)

I'm trying to think how this all might actually work in practice (even when not 'refreshed'!).

So every time somebody opens a door for you or presses a button in a lift or insists on parking your car rather than letting you do it yourself (which I personally would see as an unwelcome intrusion, not a wanted service), they stand there whilst you work out how much money they're expecting, rummage in your purse to find the notes, go through them carefully, checking the value on each one (being a foreigner and not familiar with them) to see if you have the right combination and then either hand them over or otherwise awkwardly ask if they have change for a higher-value note and tell them how much change you want, at which point they have to rummage through their wallet/pocket and see if they have the appropriate notes, before counting them out and handing them to you (assuming they do have the right ones).

Oh well, I suppose it saves wasting a second of your time by just opening the door yourself as you get to it....

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 02/04/2023 12:34

tip EVERYTHING, even if they just open a bottle in a bar you're supposed to pay the for that.

I'm surprised that the 'hard work' of you reaching in to your purse to get a tip for their benefit doesn't warrant them giving you a tip back! After all, it's no less effort than opening a bottle!

So many of these just seem extremely silly. They call it 'tipping' in the US, as that sounds like a 'proper' respectable term for a rich, developed country; but I can't really see how a lot of it is any different really from plain old begging.

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 02/04/2023 13:27

I’m a bit astonished by the idea that you need $1000 for tips for a fortnight’s holiday in the US. I suppose it depends how you holiday. I’ve really only ever tipped in restaurants and cafes, and rarely counter service. We self cater or occasionally spend one night only in a hotel, so there’s no maid service as such and I always leave the place clean. AirBnB have a cleaning service charge if we use them. We don’t use taxis, move our own luggage, don’t get haircuts etc.

I don’t think we should tip resort/hotel reception staff, shop assistants or the kiosk people on the way into national parks or theme parks? Should we tip the people in visitor centres? Car hire desks? Pharmacists giving advice? I have previously tried to tip the person who loaded my carrier bags in Publix and they refused because it was against company policy, but that was some years ago.

In restaurants and cafes in the USA my experience has almost always been good to awesome, and I’ve always tipped >15%, more like 18-20% recently. The only time I under-tipped was when I was served almost entirely raw fish and received no apology.

GulfCoastBeachGirl · 02/04/2023 14:20

The Visa tip guide that @TizerorFizz posted is great!

In a restaurant you tip the wait staff and it is up to them (not you!) to give a portion to the busboy, etc.

I do not tip at food courts or cafeteria self serve. Ridiculous! When they flip that iPad pay screen towards you just hit the "skip" button.

No tipping at any retail establishment (pharmacy, grocery, boutique). Again, you do see that iPad pay system a lot now; just hit "Skip"

It's a good idea to keep some $1.00 bills on hand for things like counter service (ice cream shop, coffee shop). It's a nice gesture to leave a small tip if you feel like it, but it certainly isn't necessary.

I hate to see tipping cause so much angst! Enjoy your trip, the Visa guide covers all the main tipping scenarios. You're visiting to have fun (hopefully!), not to stress over tips.

BiteyShark · 02/04/2023 14:48

What is the iPad pay system that a number of people have mentioned?

I am going to USA later in the year but haven't been for about 6-7 years. Do you put your card details in?

CarolinaInTheMorning · 02/04/2023 14:57

A tablet or iPad system takes cards. More and more establishments are using them especially places like Starbucks and other over-the-counter service systems. Most of these systems have a built-in tip feature, but you can skip it if you don't want to tip.

But cash is still accepted almost everywhere in the US if you don't want to use the tablet system.

BiteyShark · 02/04/2023 15:01

CarolinaInTheMorning · 02/04/2023 14:57

A tablet or iPad system takes cards. More and more establishments are using them especially places like Starbucks and other over-the-counter service systems. Most of these systems have a built-in tip feature, but you can skip it if you don't want to tip.

But cash is still accepted almost everywhere in the US if you don't want to use the tablet system.

Thank you.

I like to be prepared. Tipping I get and try to have lots of different notes to make it easier.

The hardest thing I find is the USA is attempting to fill up with fuel as most pumps don't accept my credit card and I want to fill up until full which usually involves a lengthy discussion with the server about how I don't know how much I want to put in before paying 😁

mathanxiety · 02/04/2023 17:31

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 02/04/2023 12:34

tip EVERYTHING, even if they just open a bottle in a bar you're supposed to pay the for that.

I'm surprised that the 'hard work' of you reaching in to your purse to get a tip for their benefit doesn't warrant them giving you a tip back! After all, it's no less effort than opening a bottle!

So many of these just seem extremely silly. They call it 'tipping' in the US, as that sounds like a 'proper' respectable term for a rich, developed country; but I can't really see how a lot of it is any different really from plain old begging.

Oh, come on.

All through this thread you've had tipping explained in minute detail to you, and it's also been revealed that tips can provide a very decent living, especially for waiters.

Yet you persist with this anglocentric nonsense and faux bafflement.

GulfCoastBeachGirl · 02/04/2023 18:11

@WiseUpJanetWeiss your anecdote about trying to tip the Publix supermarket employee reminded me of something funny that happened with my son.

We were in a supermarket parking lot and I noticed an older gentleman who was struggling to load his groceries into the trunk (boot?) of his car. My son (11) says "Be right back Mom, I'm going to go give him a hand".

Silently patting myself on the back for raising a thoughtful young man, I make sure to tell my son that that was a nice gesture when we were getting into our car. He pulls a $1 out of his pocket and says " I like doing it, they always tip!"

Nooooo! Completely mortified I have to go back to square one about doing things for other people because it's the right thing to do, not for personal gain.

Congratulating yourself on your parenting skills has a tendency to backfire😊

SofiaSoFar · 02/04/2023 19:41

mathanxiety · 02/04/2023 17:31

Oh, come on.

All through this thread you've had tipping explained in minute detail to you, and it's also been revealed that tips can provide a very decent living, especially for waiters.

Yet you persist with this anglocentric nonsense and faux bafflement.

No one should need tipping explained to them in detail because it should be very simple. You tip when you've received a notably high level of service that you want to acknowledge.

I've travelled most of the world on business, from Peru to Pakistan to The Philippines and everywhere in between, including multiple times per year to various places in the US, and I have never, ever seen such a ridiculous tipping culture/expectation as that in the US.

I'm surprised that anyone would think it's anything but incredibly complex and somewhat silly.

RampantIvy · 02/04/2023 20:08

Yet you persist with this anglocentric nonsense and faux bafflement.

I would suggest that it isn't just Anglocentric nonsense, because nowhere else in the world has such a ridiculous tipping system, so perhaps it is worldcentric nonsense?

I also get the impression that you really dislike the British. I have seen your very lengthy posts elsewhere on MN, and you can't resist having a dig at us can you?

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 02/04/2023 20:16

Oh, come on.

All through this thread you've had tipping explained in minute detail to you, and it's also been revealed that tips can provide a very decent living, especially for waiters.

Yet you persist with this anglocentric nonsense and faux bafflement.

As PP says, why should tipping need to be explained in minute detail? It's not peer-reviewing a scientific thesis: it's just receiving what should be a very basic service, one which you may not even need or want, and it being made deliberately obscure as to how much it costs you, because a culture doesn't seem to understand the basic concept of stating a price - an actual price - in order to obtain offered goods or services.

Yes, it has been revealed that waiting staff can make a huge amount of money - but clearly at the expense of giving clear prices to would-be customers - and protests to those who don't tip (or undertip, according to what they are wanting) about how poor waiters are and thus utterly dependent on their tip!! A lot of lawyers and doctors also make massive amounts of money, but at least they state their fees upfront and don't rely on socially compelling customers to pay them significantly over the agreed price by a high amount, for no reason other than that they have done the job they were paid to do, as agreed.

It really does seem to turn things on their head when asking for an agreed price for buying goods and services is called 'nonsense', as opposed to all of the many tipping rules, expectations and experiences that have been recounted on here!

Why is it just Anglocentric, though? Do you see these kind of 'tip everybody for everything' customs throughout Europe - or indeed in most countries of the world? I believe the practice is actually considered insulting in Japan - presumably because the Japanese are skilled in business and setting prices that are fair and transparent to all and also build in wages for the staff. That makes much more sense to me - all these Anglocentric Japanese people, eh?

I realise that people in very poor countries are obviously happy to receive tips from tourists, but this is usually a result of in-built gross inequalities, where a tourist from the West can give the equivalent of a few pence to somebody helping/guiding/serving them and make a big difference to their and their family's life - nothing about a person on minimum wage being socially compelled to hand over extra money to a rich waiter in a wealthy country, so that they can make in an hour what the person in the poor country might struggle to make in a year.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 02/04/2023 20:21

mathanxiety · 02/04/2023 17:31

Oh, come on.

All through this thread you've had tipping explained in minute detail to you, and it's also been revealed that tips can provide a very decent living, especially for waiters.

Yet you persist with this anglocentric nonsense and faux bafflement.

This 'very decent standard of living'... at any point, is the employer responsible for looking after their staff? Making sure that they are paid enough for the work they are employed to do? It really doesn't sound like it.

There's no faux bafflement that I can see from SausageRoll, just a lot of hectoring from you. The system that you are peddling so very hard makes absolutely no sense to many of us in the UK where minimum wage exists. The example given upthread where a waiter failed to acknowledge customers who'd just spent $1,200+ on dinner, with service charge, so didn't leave a tip... how does spending more on the food mean more work for waiting staff? I mean, you buy a wagyu steak, some champagne or scotch... are the plates/glasses heavier?

Honestly, I long for a tip-free society where we it's not expected at all. That way, when somebody truly delights us, we can freely reward them. There are some serving staff who are so damn good at their jobs that I enjoy giving them meaningful money... because I want to, not because I have to deal with a pout and swearing if I don't.

I agree with a PP who said that you are doing an excellent job of putting people off from going to the US. A sterling job!

RampantIvy · 02/04/2023 20:27

I remember tipping a waiter in Bali £1.50 several years ago. He was utterly amazed and kept saying "are you sure?". He had never been given such a large (for him) tip before.

The tipping etiquette in the US is overly complicated and as far as I know isn't replicated anywhere else in the world.

I am happy to be corrected.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 02/04/2023 20:35

I remember tipping a waiter in Bali £1.50 several years ago. He was utterly amazed and kept saying "are you sure?". He had never been given such a large (for him) tip before.

Quite. The financial inequality between the West and much poorer countries is very sad; however, that is the whole point of a tip: something given voluntarily to somebody (often who doesn't earn very much) who is genuinely pleased (and maybe surprised) to receive it.

When it's expected/asked for/demanded/complained about if not received, it's absolutely not a 'tip' in anybody's reality - it's nothing more than deliberately obscured (maybe even fraudulent) pricing.

RampantIvy · 02/04/2023 20:45

When it's expected/asked for/demanded/complained about if not received, it's absolutely not a 'tip' in anybody's reality - it's nothing more than deliberately obscured (maybe even fraudulent) pricing.

And it's so transactional.

woodhill · 02/04/2023 21:03

Has really put me off going again

I'm sure 10% used to be fine and the exchange rate is worse and all the prices have gone up so surely the servers would get a reasonable tip even if you gave them 10%

KatherineJaneway · 02/04/2023 21:07

woodhill · 02/04/2023 21:03

Has really put me off going again

I'm sure 10% used to be fine and the exchange rate is worse and all the prices have gone up so surely the servers would get a reasonable tip even if you gave them 10%

No, 10% is not 'fine'

woodhill · 02/04/2023 21:09

It was in the past and we never had any problems so why has it gone up?

Awumminnscotland · 02/04/2023 21:16

An American I follow on fb says 20 % min, but 35 % is good.

mathanxiety · 02/04/2023 21:18

...and all the prices have gone up

Here's why 10% isn't enough. Prices have gone up for Americans too.

mathanxiety · 02/04/2023 21:21

Quite. The financial inequality between the West and much poorer countries is very sad; however, that is the whole point of a tip: something given voluntarily to somebody (often who doesn't earn very much) who is genuinely pleased (and maybe surprised) to receive it.

The approval of this scenario is quite sickening, actually.
It reeks of white man's burden.

When it's expected/asked for/demanded/complained about if not received, it's absolutely not a 'tip' in anybody's reality - it's nothing more than deliberately obscured (maybe even fraudulent) pricing.

No, it's not.

You seem unable to understand that the waiter is using the restaurant to make a living. The relationship between waiter and restaurant is a symbiotic one.

You are paying the server separately from the restaurant. What you're paying for is the service.

woodhill · 02/04/2023 21:27

mathanxiety · 02/04/2023 21:18

...and all the prices have gone up

Here's why 10% isn't enough. Prices have gone up for Americans too.

So if the meal was 50 and they got 5 and it is now 100 and they get 10 what is the issue. Why do they need 20?

SpareHeirOverThere · 02/04/2023 21:31

Some of you should not travel.

It's not your culture. You don't need to argue about how it's begging, or outrageous extremist capitalism, or how it spoils your experience of service to pay extra for it.

Just learn the rules and pay up. People have posted very clear infographics to make it easier.

I cannot understand why tipping the waitstaff 20%, or adding 15% to the taxi bill, is a challenge. You have time in both scenarios to think about it and sort it out without feeling rushed or pressured.

You do need cash in small bills to leave the housekeeping staff $3ish/day. That can be an annoyance. But it's not too difficult. Tipping bar staff - add a couple bucks onto the card payment for each round (more if it's a big round).

(Yes, tip for each day at the time, each round of drinks at the time.)

I found paying for ice cream in Florence quite Byzantine - order, take the receipt to the till over there, pay, take the new receipt back to the counter, now get ice cream. That's just how it works there, it's part of travelling to have to wade through the irritating habits of foreign countries. Bless 'em.