This is the list of tips etiquette from Visit USA. Not $10 a day for the room!
So even somebody who keeps explaining how simple and straightforward it is to those of us who are bewildered by it is themselves greatly at odds with (one version of) official advice.
No, people don't introduce themselves with titles apart from waiters You really should be able to identify a role someone other than a waiter is performing. Leave an envelope with bills at the end of your stay for your bellboy, elevator attendant, concierge, doorman.
Do not tip at a self service. This should be self explanatory.
You'll possibly find a tip jar on a counter at a Starbucks or a neighbourhood pizza joint or a bagel place where they give you your order over the counter. You don't have to put money in it.
It really is as obvious as that.
But you were saying how easy it was to know whom to tip because they identify themselves as such - but it turns out that's only waiting staff. I'm only 'overthinking' or 'underthinking' it, as you say, because it's a whole system designed to ignore the most obvious simple way of selling goods and services and deliberately make it a massive unnecessary hassle at every stage.
I think restaurants are probably relatively navigable - assuming that you have just one waiter/ress and no separate sommelier wanting their proportion as well. But all these people in a hotel and their different roles are baffling. You say that it should be easy to identify them, but what about when some of their jobs are such trifling, simple tasks for able-bodied guests to do themselves? And you would hope that people (whether staff or other guests) would be keen to take 10 seconds to help disabled and elderly guests out of basic human kindness and not just to make some quick bucks out of their extra needs.
Even some of the job titles and roles are different from those we use even in the UK, where we speak the same language, so goodness knows how non-regular travellers from other nations and cultures understand it.
What's a bellboy (are adults and females not allowed to do this job)? Is it somebody who responds when you press the bell on the desk? If so, how does that differ from a receptionist? And if the bellboy is some kind of secondary receptionist, who responds to your pressing the bell by calling the concierge or housekeeping, does that mean you have to tip him just for calling somebody else whom you then also have to tip? And do you also have to tip the regular receptionist for being there and watching whilst you call for the bellboy?
Does a doorman really just stand there all day and open doors for people in places where they're too tight to instal standard automatic hotel doors? Or do they also function as bouncers - so you're effectively tipping them to show your gratitude at them not throwing you out?
What does an elevator attendant do, other than ask which floor you want and then press the appropriate button? Like doormen, and as I said before, the kind of 'jobs' you give to little children, to make them feel important.
In fact, back to restaurants, I've heard the word busboy, but I still don't know what it means. I presume it's not the obvious - bus driver - as you don't tend to have buses in the middle of restaurants; and only men and women are allowed to drive buses, not boys (or the seemingly non-existent girls). Is it something to do with bringing meals out to tables? If so, isn't that a basic part of the waiter's job, for which they're expecting 20-25% tip? Does the busboy also expect another 20-25%?
Considering that all of these people are supposedly there to make your life simpler and quicker, it does seem that most of them only serve to slow you down and expect money for the privilege, if you're constantly having to reach into your purse/wallet for an appropriate amount of cash at every single stage, to pay somebody who has just opened a door or pressed a button for you. Presumably, if a valet insists on parking your car for you, if they are not the same height as you, they will have to adjust the driver's seat, which is then another unnecessary job for you to have to get it back into the right position for you again. Sounds like you've more than earned a tip yourself!