Now worried about holiday, as intending to leave Dc's in room while we eat...

[OutragedfromTunbridgeWells]

we're going to villa Pia (as recommende on MN) where children eat early and then go to bed and parents eat later all together.

This seemed a great idea to me before.

but now obviously with tragic and frightening abduction of Madeleine, it's playing on my mind and feel we cannot do this.

Are any others having such dilemmas? what should we think/do??

Our teenager and nearly-teenager are still more than happy to eat with us and spend the evening with us. In fact on holiday we literally spend the whole time together as a family.

I can see that changing as they become much older teenagers/verging on adulthood, but not before then.

mousses very different

Sadly I think there will be a lot of soul-searching about what's appropriate with reagrds to leaving children on holiday now and it's hard to say what's right and what's not.

If you think about it, there is no real difference to leaving your kids at home in bed and going to a pub, say, across the road while they sleep. But I don't think that would be regarded as 'ok' in any way at all. The difference with the eating-while-your-kids-sleep-on-holiday scenario is that it's got a history of having been done safely years with very few problems I guess people have become complacent maybe, because really you cannot rule for every single eventuality, and you do a 'risk assessment' in a situation like that. If everyone seems to be doing it, and you feel relaxed and your kids usually sleep well, then I guess you make the decision that your kids will be ok. Some parents would be happy with that and some clearly wouldn't. IT all revolves around what's acceptable really - for some reason it's not acceptable to do at home, where you probably have much of an idea of the risks involved, yet it is acceptable on holiday, where you maybe don't know the risks as acutely. I'm not passing judgement, I'm trying to look at the situation from both sides.

I think if you would have left your kids previous to this terrible incident, then you should try to assess the risks and make a decision. But you need to be happy with it and if you're not, you won't enjoy that part of your holiday. If it really upsets you that much, then I would suggest maybe one adult stays upstairs each night to keep an eye on the kids' rooms. You've got to match the situation to the way you are feeling I guess(?)

For those of you that like the club resort type setup, have you ever looked at Club Med? It's more cosmopolitan than Mark Warner and because of the mixed languages and cultures is not at all 'cliquey'.

The childrens clubs are not the same and whilst my kids loved Mark Warner clubs they did'nt spend much time in the Club Med ones, just came and went as the activities appealed. Maybe this was because they are older now (8, 10,12) and have so much fun with us. They loved the circus school.

For 'littlies' there is much more flexibilty
in club hours and you can come and go as you please.

The whole resort is set up in such a way that you have many more facilities on offer on a totally inclusive basis and you can do them as a family, split up a bit. etc. The pools have proper, responsible lifeguards present at all times.

The whole atmosphere is very relaxed and you get the impression that anything is possible.

Meal times are much more flexible, the restaurants open earlier, and children in Europe always stay up with their parents. There's a real 'buzz' to the place in the evenings and kids seem to love it.

For families with children who are a bit flexible (the children that it), this might represent a really good alternative.

I also found the environment to feel totally safe even though the resort is huge.

I have'nt ever had the same dilemna's with baby listening service etc as some of the mumsnetters on here as I avoided these types of places until the children were older so can't really offer any sensible advice.

It's got to be a very personal choice - there is no right or wrong.

Haven't read the whole thread, so sorry if I'm repeating something. We have done several MW and Club Med hols when kids were small. Often DS2 was ill (he only ever went sick the day before we went on hols...) so on those occasions we ate early with the children and then sat up drinking, chatting on our balcony. We always choose rooms with balconies for that reason.
When he was healthy we often left them in the room , asleep BUT always in places where the dining room restaurant was in the same complex as the room ie within the boundaries. We went back to check once or twice, not every half an hour. Everyone is panicking now because it was a Mark Warner holiday the McCanns were on, but according the paper yesterday this was NOT the normal type, the parents actualy ate in the secure complex, but their apartment was outside on a busy road - they had to leave thru' a security gate and walk along a public road to their apartment! So they should at least have considered the risk of one or more of the children getting out thriough the unlocked doors on to the road, or the swimming pool, or the possibilty of a 'normal' burglar breaking in thru unlocked doors, and terrifying the children.
I really hope this doesn't put people off Mark Warner hols, as it is harly the fault of the company if they lay on childcare facilities and the parents don't use them. Are they supposed to poice parents in the dining area to ask them where there klids are. (Tho' I suppose the rest of can look forward to that now, after this - you can bet that there will now be draconian rules on their hols for all parents in all places even tho' this is a location totally unlike their other resorts.)
Outraged of TW - your hol setup sounds completely different - PLEASE go and have a lovely hol!!!

Nailpolish - perhaps all that was meant by the comment re IVF is that it indicates that people really really wanted their kids. That's not to say anyone who has an accident doesn't love theirs just as much.

I don't want to digress too much from the original thread but that I think is often what people mean by that kind of comment - not that other people can't or don't love their kids as much as those of us who have had IVF. I do appreciate that it must be really annoying when your relative says that.

Anyway sorry to go off subject!

I think that's a really good point that people wouldn't leave their kids in the house alone and go to the pub across the road at home so why do it on holiday....

p.s. I don't know whether this would ease any worries amongst those of you with toddlers but we have a movement monitor on ds's bed. We bought it when he had breathing difficulties at birth so weren't being totally neurotic before anyone thinks that.

The point is, if it is on and someone did break in and take your dc out of the cot, the alarm would go off within 20 seconds of the dc not being in the bed (well unless the abductor somehow knew it was on and how to switch it off) and you/ the hotel baby listening person would hear it. This is obviously better than a standard baby monitor where it wouldn't pick anything up unless they were being very noisy.

This will not cover some of the fears expressed by some of you e.g. fires, but it could help if you have a specific concern re abduction. I am not going to comment on whether that is valid or not - just wanted to suggest this.