Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Holidays

Use our Travel forum for recommendations on everything from day trips to the best family-friendly holiday destinations.

Now worried about holiday, as intending to leave Dc's in room while we eat...

357 replies

OutragedfromTunbridgeWells · 07/05/2007 16:20

we're going to villa Pia (as recommende on MN) where children eat early and then go to bed and parents eat later all together.

This seemed a great idea to me before.

but now obviously with tragic and frightening abduction of Madeleine, it's playing on my mind and feel we cannot do this.

Are any others having such dilemmas? what should we think/do??

OP posts:
minkybiscuit · 09/05/2007 16:34

I understand that and I am just as emotional about it as any mum and perhaps my honesty isn't what's appropriate right now so I apologise.

LIZS · 09/05/2007 16:36

Totally agree Outraged. I don't think they knowingly put their children at risk either , but this thread wasn't actually about the McCann case, was it ?

Aloha · 09/05/2007 16:39

The original post has nothing to do with leaving children in a house and going off somewhere else to eat!

nailpolish · 09/05/2007 16:40

outraged are you ok? have you decided to go ahead with the holiday and your original plans? i hope so

Blu · 09/05/2007 16:43

If it is within a shared house, and you will be in the house, I cannot for the life of me see why you can't eat downstairs while the children sleep upstairs, just as you would at home.
Take a monitor to use?

OutragedfromTunbridgeWells · 09/05/2007 16:44

'I pray no unfortunate tragic accident ever happens to you'

I absolutely do not/did not wish anything bad on you.

It's not like leaving your children at home and going out, it's like leaving children sleeping in their rooms whilst you are in the garden.

But im truth I don't want to pick it apart make comparison suggest they were neglectful or anything else.

Do you really beleive they are neglectful bad parents?

To me they appear to be loving parents doing what many would do and many wouldn't but who cares about that, their lives are a LIVING HELL.

Why judge at all???Un less you really think parents are genuinely neglectful.

We could all say things like 'I never let me dauhgters walk around the village' 'I never leave mine unattended in the bath' 'I never look away from mine in a shop anything could happen''I'd never let ine sleep in a tent in the garden'-all things good parents HAVE done with tragic consequences . Why say it???

Most of us our loving devoted parents whose children are our world, but we all take some risk sometimes and it could God forbid be us.

You basically seem to be suggesting you love your children more than the McCann's. How downrihgt nasty IMO.

OP posts:
Aloha · 09/05/2007 16:48

We always take a monitor abroad for this sort of thing. It sounds a similar set up - on a larger scale - to the place we stayed in France last year. You are only downstairs!

OutragedfromTunbridgeWells · 09/05/2007 17:32

Oh, or

'rent a villa with a pool''I'd NEVER do that' too many risks my children's safty is my number 1 priority etc etc.

There are many reasonable risks devoted parents take every day, we vary slightly from each other in our own risks and there are some things totally unacceptable.

But to preach at a time of tragedy?? Why would anyone want to do that??

Incidentally did you hear Justine from MNHQ yesterday on the radio say she has done EXACTLY this herself at a MW resort. So I presume you find her lacking a a parent too?

OP posts:
OutragedfromTunbridgeWells · 09/05/2007 19:46

Sorry NP I missed your question, too busy ranting.

Yes I'm fine thanks, I've talked to people in RL about this and most have said simialr to some psoters on here, such as: keep them up, take turns, have a nap, do it anyway it's just as safe as it was yesterday, take a monitor etc.

I think I'll contact the hotel ask what they think and if others are querying it. I think mine could actually cope with and enjoy staying up later this year so will probably do that, and as we're going in August it will be boiling so the siesta option sounds good.

OP posts:
hatrick · 09/05/2007 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

OutragedfromTunbridgeWells · 09/05/2007 19:57

Were you hatrick???

What did you have to say?

DH and I were spitting feathers at some peoples judgemental attitude about poeple whose lives has been destroyed.

OP posts:
hatrick · 09/05/2007 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

minkybiscuit · 10/05/2007 09:27

I dont care what Justine from MN does - I dont know her - she's not my model for parenting - I dont care what you or anyone else does - I dont think they are bad parents - I think they took an very unwise risk leaving their most treasured possessions unguarded. I feel terribly upset for them. I never suggested I am a better parent than anyone, that's your interpretation not mine. I'm not going to temper my thoughts and dilute them down to the way you want me to express them. sorry.

OutragedfromTunbridgeWells · 10/05/2007 10:34

MB the language you use and statements you make ceratinly give the impression that you view these people as irresponsible parents.

You continue to equate what they did and the sitaution at VP in this thread with abandoning children at home and going out, which it is not. You have not acknowledged that we all take calculated risks with our children and the Mccanns and others obviously viewed this to be a miniscule risk which indeed it is as this has never happened before.

There are countless other tiny risks loving parents have taken with tragic consequnces. I don't see why you feel the need to judge unless you feel they were truly negligent. and your language suggests you do, and to me at least your language also states that as you love your children so much you would never do this, and it is therefore logical to infer from this that you beleive they loved their daughter less and therefoer took a greater risk.

Deeply unpleasant in my view.

I mentioned Justine just to show that many peopl who we presume to be decent parents would do this and view it as minimal risk, without the need for a referral to SS as you suggest.

Some examples of your unpleasnt, emotive, suggestive, sanctimoniuos language:

'If a couple left three under three children in their home AT HOME - unattended to go up the road to the pub for a couple of hours, I suspect social services would be involved.'- It was not the equivalent to going up the raod to the pub, and you bringing up SS defeinetly suugests you are questioning their abilty as parents.

'leaving their most treasured possessions unguarded'-if this is not emotive and judgmental I can't imagine what would be.

'I just cant comprehend the mentality of it'-suggesting they have dome something extreme, and totally beyond comprehension.

'they decided to put child-free socialising over the security of those precious kids' - do you really believe that thast meal was more imporatnt to them than their children?? Do you? This is what this says.

'you guard your passport, your money whatever in a safe so I dont understand how anyone could contemplate leaving their kids'-suggesting I'm afraid that their children were less precious to them than their passport/money. Do you really beleive that? What an extreme and damning statement to make.

I accept you would not do this, that's a decsion you take. Just as I would not hire a villa with a pool (have a fear about the children around water) but would not then suggest that a parents who did this and whose child tragically drowned did not view thier child as precious enough or that they'd 'rue the day they they had that pool.' Of course they would, but saying it makes it into a judgement particyalry when so close to the event. And many children do drown in pools on holiday, yet poeple still do it. This is just an exapmle to higlight that your differnt deciosn should not be used to judged these poeple.

I do not expect you to temper your views for me. I am just explaining why I find them and the way they are expressed deeply distasteful, and disturbibg in the level of judgemnt and accusation against other parents and their love of their children.

I can't imagine why you feel the need to do that.

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 10/05/2007 10:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

minkybiscuit · 10/05/2007 10:40

So if I can summarise your post - we'll agree to disagree - we clearly have different views on leaving very, very young children alone in an unfamiliar environment for an hour at a time and the possible risks to their wellbeing (however unlikely but not implausible) that may entail.

minkybiscuit · 10/05/2007 10:40

thankyou themild.., you're very brave to state the obvious, just as I did.

minkybiscuit · 10/05/2007 10:42

Unfortunately common sense doesn't always win out on MN

ScottishThistle · 10/05/2007 10:43

I think everyone does what they are comfortable with, I personally would keep a child up later/hire babysitter or keep a baby in their pushchair with me.

I do know of Parents who asked their Nanny if she thought it would be okay if they left their tiny daughter in the house while they went to the local pub with the monitor...I have to say I find some people incredibly irresponsible!

nailpolish · 10/05/2007 10:45

i think we have to be adults here

the McCanns REGRET what they did, surely they dont need it shoved down their throats "oh they will rue the day" etc is very nasty

its ok to THINK these things, but dont shout it about, eh? please? its very distasteful, and often said from a 'high horse' stance, with arms folded and nose in the air

expatinscotland · 10/05/2007 10:45

Well, I can see your point, MMJ. DH's local is literally at the corner. About 100 feet away from our apartment block.

But there's no way he'd go there and leave the girls sleeping, even if he checked on them.

expatinscotland · 10/05/2007 10:46

But (sorry, hit post button there) it's a moot point now!

I mean, let's just hope and pray the girl comes home healthy soon.

themildmanneredjanitor · 10/05/2007 10:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OutragedfromTunbridgeWells · 10/05/2007 10:51

Going to the pub would be different becuase you would be in a differnt building with public space in between, where the children could not access you.

I have not carefully studied the map (as I feel no need to judge) but I believe they could see the room from wherer they were?

It is more equivalent to, as has been stated on this thread already, hIring a villa and sitting in the garden in the evening whilst having a drink.

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 10/05/2007 10:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Swipe left for the next trending thread