Now worried about holiday, as intending to leave Dc's in room while we eat...

[OutragedfromTunbridgeWells]

we're going to villa Pia (as recommende on MN) where children eat early and then go to bed and parents eat later all together.

This seemed a great idea to me before.

but now obviously with tragic and frightening abduction of Madeleine, it's playing on my mind and feel we cannot do this.

Are any others having such dilemmas? what should we think/do??

obviously lots of people do think its essential, and maybe it is, to them

personally dh and I have got used to having banter and a glass of wine with the children around, or we tend to go out when at home, leaving the chlidren with a babysitter.

and of course not drunk in charge?!

I personally wouldnt leave ds in the room while we went for a meal/drink.
We are going away in 4 weeks and he'll be with us the whole time and if he wants to sleep he can go in his buggy, he's only 1.
We took him away when he was 4 months old and it would never have crossed my mind to leave him in his cot while we went to the bar.
We can always put him to bed and sit on the balcony and have a drink when he's asleep if we want time to our selves but we will still be able to see him so wont be worried all the time.

We have just been away for a weekend in France and the hotel where we were staying organised a babysitter for us. Not cheap, but cheap relative to the overall cost of a holiday. Alternately, take someone with you to babysit which we have also done in the past (dh's niece) and my parents did a couple of times when holidaying with us as children. It doesn't have to be that much more expensive if you can find someone who is happy to do it in order to get a cheap holiday.

I wouldn't have left my 2 DDs before this abduction personally, so this wouldn't affect how I do things. I am shocked at how many people still think (and previously thought) this is an OK thing to do. Even if a child is safe, what if
There is a fire?
They have a bad dream?
Something happens to you?
Our children are precious and it is our job to care for them and keep them safe.

We went to Bedruthan Steps Hotel in Cornwall this year, same thing, children eat at five then adults only in the evening with baby listening. My ds was in his cot. Reception were very quick to respond to finding parents if needed. Really enjoyed it and was thinking about going back though would think twice now. My dh is away for four months at a time and we enjoy a couple of hours on our own.

agree with lubyluby's first comment

I don't think anyone's suggesting adults can't, or shouldn't, have a glass of wine and a cosy chat on holiday. But it's all about how you do that.

I still would never leave young children alone like that in a hotel or similar. We deliberately choose self-catering homes where we're not all in the same room, and where we're the only people staying in that house/cottage, so no other guests wandering around. Then, when the children are in bed, we can snuggle together in the lounge or our bedroom, watch a film or just natter or whatever. Children happy, adults happy, everyone safe.

Although actually, now our children are much older, we all tend to spend the evenings together too, just as happily!

havent read the whole thread but I wouldnt leave my children in an appartment by themselves, take them out with you and eat earlier. Or could you take turns with another couple to look after the kids

yes but those happy to go to self-catering cottage etc (as we have done many times too) where do you draw the line?

would you sit in the garden when kids are asleep? do you have the monitor on? every time?

we were burgled when asleep in a locked villa - i don't feel that safe about that now either - in my mind, a secure hotel with nannies patrolling the corridor seems as safe, if not safer?

Here we go again!

FFS!

This is about what to do, not another damn argument about what's right and what's wrong.

We do self-catering in the UK because it's convenient and easy.

Others don't.

So what.

Go on your holiday, and enjoy it. Your children are in no more danger now than they were a week ago. Thankfully, cases such as that of poor Madeleine Mccann are extremely rare. Check the room is secured, take a good monitor, check your child - but relax! Maybe it's not much comfort, but a determined abductor could take a child from ....well, probably just about anywhere.

Oh, and I totally understand about the children early to bed thing. My LOs get really irritable and ratty if they don't get a proper night's sleep, starting at a normalish (for them) time. They've never been the sort to doze off in a pushchair.

i think its about tips/shared info/what worked for us - i find it helpful tbh - i hadnt thought about monitors etc really - seemed ridiculous - now i'm thinking, sure why not?

The reason we go self-catering mainly is for flexibility. We used to do it pre children as well. Nothing better than wandering around the harbour or a resort deciding which restaurant you fancy that evening.

I have a 14 year old son and a 9 year old daughter. We could never have eaten out in the evenings and when our son was a fractious baby/toddler. Compromise was to eat out at lunchtime, then put him to bed in the evenings and make something simple to eat so we could relax and enjoy some adult time. It's wasn't many years until we were able to take them out in the evenings too. A helpful tip is always to take colouring/puzzle books and pencils with you when you go out. Sorry if that sounds obvious to those of you who already do it, but amazing how many people don't and wonder why the children won't sit still. I'm new to Mumsnet, so apologise in advance if i've contravened any protocol or offended anyone.

I've never done one of these child friendly holidays and TBH they have never appealed, however we have always just taken things as they come on holiday. When the DS1 was little he was quite good at sleeping in the buggy so we would give him something to eat earlier and he would sleep whilst we ate, usually waking up just in time for ice cream. DS2 however was a different story, he wouldn't sleep in the buggy and would scream down the restaurant so we discovered the joys of eating slightly earlier, putting the kids to bed and then drinking wine on the balcony, bliss. Now that they are older it is all change again, some nights we eat out late and go for a few drinks, some we are back earlier if they are very tired.

I'm presuming this MW holiday is all inclusive? You have to eat in their restaurants?

Recently we have started going to La Manga Strip in Spain (in fact we have bought an apartment there), it is very family friendly and children are welcome in even the poshest of restaurants. There are several restaurants I can think of that are beach front where the children could play on the beach if they have had enough dining and adults could continue their meal.

MrsSpoon can i be your new best friend ?

LOL! I am about to advertise on MN (have been in talks with MN towers about it but waiting until the Sky TV has been installed before advertising it) I will be offering a MN discount. I could give you our website if you are interested in having a look?

oh yes please

We live in Italy and in the summer when its very very hot the kids sleep in the PM and eat with us in the evening. This is normal and in restaurants etc its normal to see kids about until 11/12 at night. Plus the kids sleep in in the morning (their very tired) is that at all possible for you to do?

I understand if MN want to delete this as I have still to place a proper ad but it is www.yourlamanga.com, if it appeals drop me a mail and we could work out a good deal.

Doh, you would think after all this time I would remember that you can do links on MN here

No Outraged i'm not alien LOL I also have the need to sahre evenings, but only when the boys are with someone or womewhere we can trust. As I said a creche wouldn't be a problem (IF they would accept ds1 andnd ds3, I think not) but any form of service where they were checked only half hourly or so wouldn't be enough. In the absence of options, we prefer to keep sociable evenings to when we can find a babysitter (albeit with a long drive attached) or do the kids in the tent sharing a bottle of wine and a chat thing. which IS adult time, Dh and I rather like each others company. In fact as he works nights its a very special thing for us to get to do this together.

In no way is it odd to want time togerther / as a group. I just wouldn't want to get that time when i wouldn't feel totally happy about the care my children were receiving. If you do feel safe then good on you, as I also said previously its quite possible that because 2 of my 3 care SN I don't wuite 'get' what NT kids can cope with, thats fair enough imo. as long as you're happy with what you're arrangements are then good on you, have a great holiday. If you're not / feel insecure enough to start a thread about it then you need to arrange something else, in which case this thread is full of excellent ideas of ways to achieve that.

I do like dining out with the boys btw, it is through dining in nice places (we try nd manage one every holiday) that they ahev learned to have the manners etc that make it a pleasante xperience. the poster who said parents with young kids don't wnjoy it hasn't met us. I also like to eat with DH, but thankfully when he's off shift we can mange that at lunchtimes instead occasionally.

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