Fledglings 2026 - support, discussion and looking after each other

[ComingInByAnsible]

A thread for parents of Year 13 leavers as they go on to universities, apprenticeships and other new adventures.

DS is off to Warwick to study PPE.

I didn’t say you made them do it. It is just normally the way it is in the UK and the expectations so that is what they see at school, etc. It is the system you are in; but I am sure all the ones struggling will adjust and enjoy it. It is a huge change.

Best of luck to all. It is not nice seeing your kids struggling ❤️

It's DDs birthday today. Had a quick chat first thing and she seems ok. I'm missing her though. I keep turning to talk to her and she's not here!! I am however enjoying being able to walk across my living room without falling over her shoes!!!

It is great, isn't it? DS is teetotal, but still bought the full package and he hasn't regretted it. I think. I haven't spoken to him recently. He is always busy.

My DD bought the cheaper package and that seems to be OK too. I think some colleges may have better organised committees than others and more events! But not complaining - a huge task to organise freshers' week! So far so good for DD too. Long may it continue for all!

Thinking of those who YPs are struggling, it is horrible feeling so helpless and you can't give them a hug.

And good luck to those who have drop-off this weekend.

At Bath uni they have changed it this year and don’t do a wristband package, you have to book everything separately. But my dd got in touch with all her flatmates before uni started and they all agreed which ones to go to, and I think since they arrived they booked a few more. I was very clear with her that freshers week is not the time to scrimp and save- spend the money and go out and get to know people and we will cover it. Luckily that’s what she’s done.

Ds says there is one lad who will not come out of his room. They have knocked and they left a note so they are trying. Ds said he might have a chat with the welfare team at the weekend if he still has not surfaced. On a plus point he met his tutor group and said that was good and he is busy doing his sport. He also taught a flat mate to cook pasta!

Dd has been out partying last two nights, met other students from her accommodation and seems to be getting on well. No longer upset and she seems to be doing well. Massive relief for me although I understand that it’s early days !
wish other Dcs who are struggling settle down soon.

We’re heading off on Saturday, down to London for UCL. I’m watching the growing pile of stuff spread and spread and am genuinely not sure if it’s going to fit in the car

DS is looking forward to it a lot. His only worry right now is that his latest home hair dyeing efforts yesterday have come out patchy so he’ll have to do some emergency repairs tomorrow. There’s been a lot of bleach and colour over the last 12 months - hope I’m not driving a bald student down south on Saturday 😵‍💫

Dd called this afternoon, she’s had a good week and has been out lots. Shes not feeling great today so was a bit upset. Perhaps the start of freshers flu. Good luck to everyone heading off this weekend.

DS has been so positive these last few nights -induction week during the day has been full on and he has been out every night - last night said how much he loves it - today he his a bit down i think he is just exhausted. He is in campus halls in a flat of 4 and he says no one comes out of their rooms and lots of people he has met are socialising as groups of flatmates and he doesn't feel he can impose on other flatmate groups! I said it would be good to have a night in tonight but he says it is lonely.!!!

What colour is he going with?

DD’s coming home from France, just for the weekend! It’s a rare Saturday without lectures, so she’s making the most of the opportunity. She’s been away a month now - can’t wait to hear all her news in person.

DD has come home for the weekend. I think she has found London overwhelming and lonely. She did all the things she had to and has socialised a bit with her flatmates but a lot of them have gone home as well.
One flatmate seems to have had his father staying in his room all week and has not spoken to any of them. They have nicked some of DD food and left a mess in the kitchen and fridge. Not great. Has been reported but apparently they wont open the door to the reception staff either. All very weird and not helping.
Am hoping it will be sorted when she goes back on Sunday.
Am hoping the structure of lectures next week will help.
Thank goodness for fast trains.

My DS is at NUA too!! He’s super shy, has hardly left his room. He didn’t book tickets for any events either - didn’t know this was a thing.
He went to Bank Plain today and signed up for a couple of societies. I’m just hoping he works up the courage to actually go out and meet people. Hasn’t even spoken to anyone in his flat yet.

DD who moved into halls on Saturday fortunately gets on with her 3 flatmates and goes out with them and new friends made from other flats. One of the boys goes out with people he’s met to play football somewhere. Not everyone has had her luck flatmate wise but they go out with others and people have been to their flat so I suppose if you’re in a less sociable flat you need to invite yourself over to a more sociable one. I know DD would be more than happy to accommodate all strays as it were as there’s only 4 in their flat. They seem to be sleeping all day during freshers and out all night, leaving late evening and back in the early hours. Which will all change once their lectures start. So I suppose if you’re not into clubbing then all the other flatmates might just be sleeping it off during the day or out playing a sport somewhere or just very homesick. DD friend in London is having a miserable time because her flatmates are Chinese and have no interest in talking to her so she’s hoping to meet and make friends once her course starts. DD other friends around the country are having hit and miss experiences.

Things will change for everyone once they start lectures and join societies. DS made most of his friends at societies but him and DD are very different people as he hates clubbing and is far less sociable as a rule but has a great group of friends now at uni

Mine gets on well with flatmates, sit in the kitchen together , have pres together , will pop into town , supermarket , do laundry together , but goes pot with course mates and has also joined 4 societies, ttwo of which she absolutely loves so far . Flatmates are lovely , just all very different so they go do different stuff . There’s more than one place to make friends at uni .

DD has already been asked by one flat mate to iron his shirt which she did and offered to cook for another because his meal was plain fried mince with nothing added to it at all with some microwave rice. He declined.

DD ironed his shirt because he’d started and wasn’t doing a great job and nearly burnt it so she was happy to help.

Is she the maid? I would tell her to stop immediately. This is not something she wants to start!!

Well we left dd in her room about 30
mins ago having spent the day unpacking and getting some food in etc, but she texted just now to say some one had grabbed her to go down to the common room where she finally met some other girls, and now they are going to collect some pizzas. I think she will be fine, she’s very good at being jolly and chatting to everyone so fingers crossed it’s a good first evening.

Warwick drop off for us tomorrow! Packing is still being ‘finalised’ and DS is doing some last-minute cooking practice by making dinner. Still some uncrossed things on his to do list so he’ll just have to fit them in when he’s there. He’s done tons though, there’s just been a lot to do and Warwick only sent him pre-work a few days ago.

@HighburyHope, wow incredible that your DD is coming back for a visit while we are still only about to take DS to start! I bet you can’t wait to see her - enjoy the stories and the hugs!

@ProfessorLayton1, so glad to hear that things are improving for your DD, hope she continues to settle in well.

@InvitedWho, good luck with the UCL drop off and with the hair colour repairs!

@Anjo2011, hope your DD feels better soon, sounds like she’s had a lovely but tiring week and a bit of rest might help. Same for your DS, @jumpflyskip, although it’s hard to choose rest when they think they are missing out.

@BurnoutGP, how weird about the father staying with your DD’s flatmate and stealing food. It’s also a safeguarding issue so hopefully they sort this soon. Hope your DD has a lovely weekend back home in the meantime.

Hi just found this thread, I dropped my dd off at Bournemouth uni last wend.

She’s survived her first week, her housemates (she’s in Halls) are okay although she’s currently getting in better with the boys.

I FaceTimed her tonight and was a bit stressed out by the huge bottle of vodka in the background 🤦‍♀️

Ha no she’s a feisty one. She’s no push over and knows how to use an iron. She’ll show them how to use it then leave them to do it in future. They’re all pretty tight already in her flat.

How is everyone doing? @Emily3325 is your daughter feeling better at all? @PoliteSquid @fawful how are your boys doing? @BurnoutGP how about your daughter? @ProfessorLayton1 brilliant news yours has found some people to hang out with. @AuntyBulgaria has your son managed to find storage for everything yet?

I’m feeling ok so far. I remember watching my parents walk away when they left me at Uni (I’m the eldest of 3) and my mum was crying and I was shocked, I hadn’t understood at all what it might feel like to her. I am missing her but just watching her yesterday meet her flatmates, get stuck in, and the fact she’s worked so hard to be there and it’s so much the right uni for her, I’m just so happy for her that any sadness I might feel hasn’t kicked in. Maybe not yet? DS is in his last year so maybe when we leave him that will do it for me? I hope we are all feeling ok and that all the children are getting settled now. This thread has been so helpful thank you.

On a different note now feel I have much more info than i did before I dropped her off on what she needed for storage etc. maybe on a different thread we should all compare notes so next year when someone is googling they can find the info??

Thanks @NicolaMarlowsMerlin he’s perfectly happy in his own company… just me fretting! He went out briefly yesterday but as he pointed out he spends most of his time on his own drawing and sketching (hence an Arts Uni) so he’s fine. I have high hopes for when his course starts.

He’s signed up to a couple of societies - then realised they’re on the same day and time 🤣

@NicolaMarlowsMerlin thanks for asking, but I have no idea where he's put everything. I imagine it's in pile on the floor!

He didn't take any pictures or photos to make his room nice and his room at home was very untidy but he said that he has no intention of spending long in there.

He is very intent on getting fit and to be good enough to get on the development team for athletics. This is at Loughborough so the standard is very high. But one day last week he was at the gym at 6:45am and yesterday he had done a speed session at the track by 8:30. There are a couple of triathletes in his flat who he is training with and they are clearly motivating him..

Lectures start on Monday which is good as I think he thinks he is on holiday!!

I've not spoken to him yet - a few WhatsApps but hopefully we will catch up properly tomorrow.