Fledglings 2026 - support, discussion and looking after each other

[ComingInByAnsible]

A thread for parents of Year 13 leavers as they go on to universities, apprenticeships and other new adventures.

DS is off to Warwick to study PPE.

I’m sure it will hit me soon

Supermarket was one of the places it hit me - when you realise you are buying for different numbers and no longer need to accommodate for their tastes.

Hi all, joining for some emotional support

We dropped DS1 off at his first choice uni on Friday! So far he hasn't spoken to anyone in his flat, he tells me they are all just staying in their own rooms the majority of the time. Has anyone else's DC found this?

Dropped ds2 at Bath on Friday. Had a tearful call from him yesterday, saying he feels homesick, doesn't feel like he can 'do' this. His older brother rang him after and had a chat too, to give him some advice and cheer him up, so hopefully things will look better today.

It's so hard, hearing your grown son cry, but knowing that the worst thing you can do is give in to Mum instinct and fly to his side, pack him up and bring him home.

What uni are they at? Could he join wny freshers events ? Also maybe leave his door wedged open and go out and talk to flat mates as they go to the kitchen. ? Or maybe know I on their doors see if they want to play uno or another game ?

London drop off yesterday absolute hell on inner London but all settled in and her flatmates seem nice. Lots of tears though. Stayed with family last night so going back to do a little shop and have lunch with her. Very difficult to her older sister who just went off and partied. Trying not to worry too much.

Nottingham

No freshers events there till Monday apparently! But he has got things lined up to do then

Fingers crossed he will meet people then . Mine was alone all day yesterday, filled her time doing laundry , walked into town to get c Comand hooks and m and s cookie.
I s there a group chat for people on his course ora hall group chat he can post if anyone is free to hang out ?

Yes, six days to go till drop off in the Ansible household, @CatkinToadflax. I am reading everyone’s updates and starting to feel like @Tomrrowandtomorrowandtommorrow, that we should just ban the whole leaving thing! 😬😂

The packing pile is growing exponentially and starting to defy the laws of physics, let alone the car space or budget. Those of you whose DC are already off, did they/you find some things were not needed in the end?

@CatkinToadflax, flaturarium 🤣🤣🤣 Wish we had flatulent labradors to cheer us on the way back!

Hugs to those whose fledglings had a tricky start, @BurnoutGP, @Shodan, @THATbasicbitchingwitch, and others. Hope they find their wings soon (I am sure they will). Also hugs to the empty nesters, @bluefineliner and other parents now navigating new family dynamics, hope you all find new comforting routines soon (although I’m terrified of facing this next week, even with younger DD still in the nest).

There has been a turn around and DS has now spoken to most flat mates

I am relieved

Does anyone have a DC starting Loughborough? Drop off Wednesday and it feels like freshers only lasts a couple of days, then full time lectures start 9am Monday?! Feels like they are missing out!

What a big weekend for everyone! I hope things settle soon for those experiencing a bumpy transition (both students and parents).

DD has been away almost a month now and is already looking at flats for second year! We had a good catch up this morning - Sunday is her only lazy morning as they have lectures Monday-Saturday. She claims to be surprised about the Saturday thing, but I did point it out to her before she made her decision to study in France. As I said, it’ll no doubt keep them all out of mischief 😀 Such a different study culture from the UK though - they really are timetabled up to the hilt, and it will be no time at all before she’s into her formal mid-term exams (Oct into Nov). And those in turn will contribute to her first-year ranking and the options available to her in second year and beyond. (Rather her than me, quite frankly. My undergraduate years were spent blissfully in Oxford which at a mere 2 essays a week and 2 tutorials was a holiday camp by comparison)

We're dropping off tomorrow but organised events go into the following week in the evenings and afternoons. It's set out in their Hall's Freshers timetable.

I'm quite glad it doesn't go on for ages and they can meet their course mates. But it does feel like one of the later ones (barring Oxford/Cambridge).

@Holidayshopping sorry should have asked - are timetables live now?

@ComingInByAnsible I had a major panic that she wouldn’t fit everything in the car.. we had a LOT of stuff in the hallway including a guitar and two large suitcases of clothes.. we have a Honda crv and did fit it all in by putting down two back seats. 🙌 so it was ok in the end although the difficulty will be her fitting it in that end. Bedroom storage is good but kitchen is small with just one cupboard so all food has to go under bed. Don’t know if she won’t end up needing anything yet… I guess that will become clear after the first few weeks.

We have taken DS into Newcastle, unpacked and brought him home again because he left his rucksack on his bed. It has his laptop, charging hub, etc. Twit!
Anyway we are going out for lunch and then I'll run him back in.
Flat is nice, loads of storage, lovely clean ensuite and big kitchen/lounge. Big gym and communal games/cinema room. Really good.
He's been in touch with all his flatmates which is good

Yes, at the end of last week. It just feels like they start late and then there is a really full on timetable starting Monday 28th at 9 (every day at 9!) so even if there’s freshers events in the next week, you have still got to be up early the day.

Sorry to hear this, Shodan - hope he is having a better day today? I have a ds at Bath (going into second year) and I remember from last year there were loads of events in the first week including low key ones like city tours and department mixers so hopefully he can try some of those. The first few days can be a bit weird as not everyone arrives at the same time. Hope he settles in soon - joining societies definitely helps. What is he into?

It is not uncommon though disappointing. Even where they have gone out as a group the first night they may have very little to do with each other after that. International students often gravitate towards others if their nationality and have less to do with flatmates too. It is best to just shake it off, be nice when you do see them and developed links elsewhere.

There will be a few students that will find going away too much. I would encourage them to try and give it a few weeks but also reassure them if it doesn’t work out it is not the end of the world.

@Shodan sorry to hear your ds is struggling at Bath. My dd arrived yesterday and after we left had dinner and then her and her flatmates all went to the arrivals party. Did your ds go? Hoping he went and had a great time and is feeling better today. It’s such early days and at the moment it’s really just making acquaintances with tons of people which can be exhausting. fingers crossed for a better day today

My DS was also dropped off at Notts on Friday...I was a bit worried about him as he is quite a reserved young person but he seems to be keeping himself busy from the little we've heard. Is your DS in halls on the main University Park campus? As I think all the halls have Res-X (I think that's what they're called) entertainment/wellbeing staff running welcome/icebreaking activities for freshers over the weekend. My DS has also been to the gym in the sports village on site (which looked amazing when we popped in on drop-off day) and he seems to be trying to chat to people although hasn't really met anyone on his corridor yet he says. It's tricky with the fire doors on all the rooms shutting everyone off.

DD seems to have found like minded flatmates. They meet up for meals, and the odd trip into town, but also all happy to spend a bit of alone time in their rooms. Freshers starts tomorrow, so I'm hoping she meets people on her course.

@Onthesofawithmydog @rainingeveryday he's doing a little better today, thank you. He did go to the party last night, felt lowish this morning (lots of texts!) but his brother spoke to him again today, and we texted a lot as well.
Then he went to watch football and play pool and chatted with a few more people, in smaller groups. Sounds much more positive now.

He thinks he's a bit weird because he enjoys things like Pokemon Go, some Cthulhu game thingy, and hikes etc. A bit of a nerd, really. But thinks his other flatmates are more into football/drinking/clubbing.

But hopefully once he starts his course (engineering) he'll find his tribe, and he'll join some clubs that align with his interests.

I really think he will find his people it just may take time… the societies are ideal to find people who are into the same thing you are. Bath being a stem uni is bound to have tons of people who are into more geeky pursuits. I saw there was an anime event on and various societies for quite niche interests. My dd is hoping to meet people at the dance society and Christian union but that won’t happen yet, at the moment it’s more about getting to know house mates.

My fledgling's time to fly the nest earlier! I dropped him at Sussex today. I was allowed to make his bed and take him for a food shop but he clearly didn't want us sticking around too long though he had the good grace to be polite about it! I met a few of his flatmates and they seemed to be a nice, sociable lot. He's got plans for this evening and then induction events start tomorrow.
I did realise once he'd got there that he's packed literally no stationery (I think I've got a pen somewhere Mum!) but that was the only hiccup and easily resolved.
Home now and the house is very quiet. I actually feel OK so far. Seeing his room and flatmates and knowing he's got plans has helped massively. I've got a hectic week at work followed by a busy weeks doing nice things which should take my mind off things a bit.

Hope everyone settles in well, especially those who are struggling initially