Fledglings 2026 - support, discussion and looking after each other

[ComingInByAnsible]

A thread for parents of Year 13 leavers as they go on to universities, apprenticeships and other new adventures.

DS is off to Warwick to study PPE.

Lots to catch up on here and lovely to read everyone's updates. We are busy packing for Saturday's drop off at Warwick. No idea how to fit everything in the car especially as DC wants to bring 8 pairs of shoes as well as a vast amount of clothes, his vinyl player, various sport kits etc etc! DC seems really positive and is really looking forward to it but I'm starting to feel a bit emotional already and think there will be tears!

Lovely to read all the updates and hope those struggling a bit have had better days.

Drop off day for us today too. All went smoothly and despite worrying it wouldn’t all fit there was plenty of space in his room. Less room in the kitchen but he will manage. Has met all his flatmates bar one who arrives tomorrow. He says they all seem lovely and they are going to the bar to the quiz and then on to the union to an event there. He’s got an early start tomorrow at his department (I think to check his DBS documents) so hoping he won’t be too late and manages to get up on time!

Right we're ready for tomorrow. We've managed to cram it into one large suitcase, one laundry type bag, and one ruck sack. Even managed to get his monitor into the suitcase. Luckily bedding has already been delivered as we're on the train.

The suitcase certainly wouldn't pass any flight baggage weight restrictions as it weighs a tonne!!

What engineering course is he doing?

My son is there - aerospace engineering. And thinking of joining the table top games society (I think they do both of the ones you mentioned your son likes) and he also likes hiking. There is a night hike on Tuesday (8pm outside the library) and Bath Skyline walk on Sunday (1pm outside the library).

My son is in quiet accommodation and so feeling less pressure to be at busy events with drinking, which he doesn't enjoy.

Let me know if you want me to try and put them in touch!

@SilverBlue4 he's actually signed up for the night hike already! So it looks like they could potentially meet 'organically', but I'll certainly ask him if he'd like a contact, thank you. He's doing Mechanical Engineering.

Aerospace and mechanical are the same modules the first couple of years so they may well meet, although I think it's a big group!

Oh god yes, THIS! I'm also quite subdued (as opposed to sobbing all week, which is what seems to be happening a lot on a certain Facebook group...) and low-level sad most of the time, but in the supermarket I'm constantly reaching for things I don't need right now. Bottles of juice are not being drunk every 2 days. We're not going through a punnet of cherry tomatoes as fast. I no longer need to buy tempting junky protein snacks like sausage rolls or scotch eggs, or breakfast pancakes, or those biscuits. DH and I are trying to eat all the vegetables DS won't.

But so far, every single time I've popped into a supermarket I've felt like crying.

Haven't caught up with everything as it's been a little while since I've been on. DS dropped on Friday and he's been through all the emotional highs and lows already. I'm hoping they will settle soon so I can stop worrying quite so much. In the meantime the house is quiet and I'm missing my hugs.

I hope everyone's DCs are thriving and the parents all surviving!

First day of proper uni today . Got given an assignment during induction week due tomorrow, so is keeping busy . I want to see her settled and in routine so I can relax too.

We dropped DD at her accommodation yesterday. All went pretty smoothly and we managed to get her room reasonably sorted. It helped that it was such a lovely sunny day and the student village was looking glorious. She held it together until we were about to leave but then had a few tears (I managed to hold it in until we got to the car 😭). She’s not hugely confident so I really hope she settles in ok. I’m feeling very glum and ‘empty nest’ today as she is our youngest. Also guilty as I didn’t feel anything like this when DS went to uni.

Just joining if ok! Ds setting into halls at Reading. He went up a week early for sports training but moved in on Friday and we took his stuff up on Saturday. He had his flat to himself until yesterday when the other 9 arrived, think it was a but of a shock! He went out last night and seems to be settling in. He took very little and had now got a list of bits he needs. Our last one to go should feel very odd and will definitely miss him. Good luck to all those still to drop off.

Any time I say how fine I am, I burst into tears.

Our fledgling moved in to York. We probably passed each other with @MamOfTwo , @Greyeyesgreenlight and @WaxMeltsMelting [waving]
Wear and and tear is an issue. I can't believe how much we are paying for a pretty run down room.
DS is going to the events and hopefully will try the gym today.
I am counting down the days till I next see him.
Good luck and strength to all of us 💐

DD2 is really struggling. I spent 2 days settling her in. But she is ringing in tears saying she wants to come home. She did go a freshers event but hated it.
She has induction typw things this week so am encouraging her to do one day at a time.
We had similar when she went to very exclusive boarding school at 16 hut couldn't cope so had to come home.
She has since been formally diagnosed with autism, ADHD and anxiety and is on medication. And is 2 years older with lots of counselling and input. Was so hoping this would be better but am so worried about her. I know she wants to do it so badly.
We did consider home city uni (which is a good uni) and stay at home. But she so desperately wanted this more prestigious one.

@BurnoutGP sorry to hear that. It must be really hard. ❤️❤️

I'm just on the train home having dropped DS off. His room is very small, with very little storage. Luckily we didn't bring much. But it's in such a good location on campus, right by the dining hall, students union, co-op, lecture halls and athletics track. So he is very happy.

The sunshine really helps. The whole place felt like a holiday camp.

I left his room in a right tip, as I had to bring the suitcase home. I hope he actually does get round to making it nice but I wouldn't put money on it.

Looking forward to hearing all the mad texts and questions we going to receive over the next few months.

it has only been one week and I am missing DD1 and so is DD2. I don’t think we will hear much from her; she is very independent. But we are happy for her.

DD has had a great freshers week - she has been so busy and her flat mates are all sociable thank goodness. First day of lecture today and so far so good I think. She getting her head around shopping, cooking and laundry.

I agree the supermarket is horrible at the moment. Nothing that DD likes and less people to feed. It really makes it hit home.

I agree the weather is helping! Just had a call from DS and he is having a lovely time by the sea in Brighton. He's settling well, says he misses people at home but is not feeling lonely and has been doing lots with his new flatmates. And he's batch cooked some spaghetti bolognaise which he insists he's happy to eat every night this week!

I am still doing OK. I miss him obviously and had a couple of teary moments but it's not been as bad as I thought it would be...so far!

DS2 is a little bit better again today, so I won't text tomorrow. He seems to be settling into his halls too, and being more sociable. @SilverBlue4 he said he's not sure if he's going to go on the night hike now because there's a quiz he'd like to do with some of the others, so I'm glad he's making friends at least.

I too felt somewhat sad in the supermarket today- no need for Lucozade, or Pringles, or vast amounts of chicken...

Dispatched DS2 to Norwich (NUA) yesterday and he had a wobble before going, then felt fine when we got there, then another wobble this afternoon; or rather he is feeling low-level anxious and nauseous, but doesn’t know exactly why. He says he’s happy and glad to be here and to be free, but that there must be something, since he is not hungry and low-key hyper vigilant☹️ His flatmates sound nice and have included him in everything but they are very outgoing and he is shy and is feeling very unready. Yesterday he couldn’t remember how to open the gate with his key fob and had to get help from the Security desk, which he felt bad about. The ups and down are quite hard as parents, or they have been for me, as they remind me of my own breakdown in my first year at uni. I think I may need counselling about it (35 years after the event!). Anyway, I took two days off work to stay here and see him off, and not regretting it. He sounded positive tonight, so hoping he’ll feel better soon. Best wishes to everyone’s DCs 💐

DS has had his first induction day today, seemed to enjoy this and met more people. He is not going out tonight as is exhausted and has more induction tomorrow.

I am glad he is happy and mingling with people

it’s lovely hearing where everyone has headed off to and how they’re doing . Some of ds’ friends found freshers quite hard going but seem to be settling now that term has started properly. It’s such a lot to get used to all at once, I hope those who aren’t feeling settled yet get into the swing of it all soon.

DS work visa arrived this weekend so he’ll definitely be heading off into Europe in 3 weeks time!

Mine is finishing off an assignment for tomorrow , been given another for end of the week and one to hand in 30th October. Keeping her busy !

The thing about an "only" pan, is that it would be hard to , say, cook pasta while making a pasta sauce.

I took DS to TK Maxx and we chose a saucepan and saute pan, both with a ceramic non stick base, and lids.

Fortunately, he gets on well with his flatmates and they cook together.

We took basic stuff - no kettle or toaster - as I thought it might be helpful to see what items everyone else arrived with and then get what was needed later. They are well supplied with kettles/toaster/air fryer, as it turns out!

Dropped Dd in her accommodation on Sunday evening, she feels that she has not got any friends and there are students who know others and have formed groups already. She has made conscious efforts to strike conversation with different group of students.
She is homesick and was in tears this morning. She sees her other friends from school are having a good time in other universities.
Not sure how to deal with this apart from talking and reassuring her. Luckily her sister is close by and has been really supportive.

It is better when courses and lectures get underway. Course mates have the added advantage in terms of being potential friends in that there are clear shared interests already (the course itself). Plus it adds structure to the week.