Fledglings 2026 - support, discussion and looking after each other

[ComingInByAnsible]

A thread for parents of Year 13 leavers as they go on to universities, apprenticeships and other new adventures.

DS is off to Warwick to study PPE.

Just waiting at the station waiting to pick up my husband, his train is late so I’m mulling uni drop off next week and playing songs in the car. So far ‘Slipping through my fingers’ and ‘Viva Forever’. My daughter asked me today whether I was going miss her!!! She’s not usually sentimental at all so I was actually quite moved!

Glad the Exeter, Bristol, Southampton and other drops off have gone well this weekend. Loving the ‘posh Spoons’ in Exeter, @CatkinToadflax, ‘normal’ Exeter flatmates @BlackBean2023, and the bin/ants wars in France! @HighburyHope, and wow the first assessment that already counts - they don’t hang about! With all the sorting of the practicalities and all the excitement/anxiety over the social side of things it’s sometimes easy to forget that they are leaving to actually study. 😀 Your DD’s topic sounds super interesting so no wonder she’s happy with it. Hope the presentation goes well.

@hels71, I am so glad you found a lift! Hugs to you, @Bremstone and everyone else struggling with an empty or quiet house.

@Shodan, at least you found out beforehand rather than turning up on Saturday!

Here a massive Ikea shop done today, which was busy but stock was ok (just a set of saucepans that was out and we’ll have to source elsewhere). DS still has tons to do, but course registration, student ID, accommodation induction, second dose of Men B, railcard, unidays and student beans all done and student account in progress, so starting to feel a bit more organised.

Gosh reading all these posts about drop offs has got me all emotional.. well done to you all for holding it together. Exeter is my nearest city so I really hope they all love it and enjoy the beautiful Devon life. I warn you, they may not leave!! Our drop off is next weekend but it’s now feeling real. Been doing a budget and making sure she is up to date with registration stuff. Really hope everyone’s dc love it and settle in well

For those of you wanting to get flu jabs for your young people- Boots don’t have apts until the end of September, but I you have a Tesco pharmacy near you, I managed to get ds an apt this week so he’ll get his jab before he moves into halls.

I have sorted the men b jabs, so this was the other one I wanted to get sorted before he moved in.

Just back from dropping ds off at UEA. He's in a nice halls flat on campus, but ds is shy and he had a wobble when I left.

There was a freshers get-together this evening but there was 300 people there he didn't know so ds says he just sat on the edge & watched and has now retreated to his room and not spoken to anyone. 🙁

He seems quite down. I've suggested a few things for tomorrow where hopefully he will meet with people. I'm trying not to worry.

Hope it went well !

@ComingInByAnsible Thank you for your kind words, much appreciated

DS is at Southampton - we took him down there yesterday and helped him unpack, had dinner and stayed over - it can be done as a day-trip from us, and we should probably have left him to it, but it's hard!

He has v briefly met 2 of his 5 flatmates so far - they are both international postgrads and DS thinks the other 3 will likely be postgrads too. DS doesn't mind too much, as hopefully this will mean reasonably quiet and calm albeit not sociable accommodation. The university instructed the private accommodation provider to change DS's flat at the last minute, we don't know why...

He needs to get himself up to the campus tomorrow as he hasn't attended any uni events yet. DS barely drinks and doesn't like clubbing but he is quite happy with meeting people in other contexts. As you say, OP, he should hopefully be ok once he has started doing stuff and getting some structures in place.

@RockyKeen - cross-posted with you there! Yes, DS is still wobbly but getting there, thank you!

I did it! Successfully delivered DD to the tender mercies of Glasgow. It rained a lot on the way - so many rainbows ahead of us. I stayed for 3 hours, just enough time to help her make up the bed and do a supermarket run. Dd was getting a bit overwhelmed at this point and had decision paralysis in Tesco, so she has a slightly random assortment of food to get started with.

I'm feeling good - I was dreading the journey itself so glad that it's done, and it feel like the waiting period went on for ages, and now it's good to get on with it.

Oh that's tough! Going to an event with 300 unknown people would be daunting for anyone so fair play to your son for even turning up!
It'll probably be easier once his course starts and he can get to know people in smaller group settings. Is he planning to join any societies?

Dropped off DS at the weekend. We went up on Friday, needed to sort out a lot of stuff for his accommodation, I stayed in a little hotel, then spent the day on Saturday moseying around together and shopping for bits and pieces. I was surprised not to feel more upset- but I will be dropping in to see him next weekend, on the way back from something, and will accompany him to a uni town hospital appointment in about 3 weeks time, and so on, so it doesn't feel very final.

He was talking about coming home in a week or 2 to see everyone and I have been encouraging him to stay at uni and use this time to make new friends (and also make a good start on his course).

I was interested to hear that the accommodation provider seems to think that if a student moves out, their guarantor is responsible for the year's rent, unless the student finds a replacement tenant.

I thought it was now the law that any tenant can give 2 months notice and then move out without penalty? Just curious. Presumably the finer details of the changes may not have percolated through to private accommodation providers yet (DS is in a hall that is privately provided but arranged by the uni).

The renter’s rights legislation does not apply to purpose-built student accommodation. Much to the chagrin of conscientious private landlords!

It is so good to hear all the stories about moving in.
It all feels very real now.

Do we need contents insurance for uni accommodation?

Check the contract - contents insurance might already be included (it is for DD).

Thank you very much @bibliomania
It is so frustrating not to have access to DS's stuff. But he is an adult after all.

The standard contract might be available online - if you google the name of the university and contents insurance, it's possible it's publicly available.

@Wehaditsogood Contents insurance is included for those in halls at York (think your YP heading to York, ignore if I have that wrong) according to uni accom pages on website. (I was digging around for answer to this q the other day!)

Thank you @MamOfTwo

Contents insurance included at Newcastle too.
Its all getting real now. The pile in the spare room is getting bigger. DS is in contact with one of his 5 flatmates.
Tomorrow and Friday are my last days at home with him. I so glad he's only in the local city.
Hugs to all you leaving your YP at university this week and to those who have already done it

I’m following all of the lists about DC moving into accom and those about to.

DD is staying at home and commuting in, so I haven’t got to face an empty nest yet. But Freshers starts later this week and I think it’ll finally hit home that she’s on her next chapter.

she’s anxious about the thought if it, but taking one step at a time. I’m convinced she’ll thrive once she’s settled.

DS doesn't leave until October... and then, one week later, DD22 leaves to work abroad after being at home with us for a year, so it will be a double-whammy and a suddenly empty nest!

Yes he will join some clubs and societies. Thank you.

Things have improved today, he's met some of the others in his flat, and has been added to the flat group chat. He's much more cheerful. Huge relief. 😊

Oh phew, that's a relief!

Just dropped my son off at the first of many goodbye dinners this week. This bit feels really weird...like I'm missing him already. I almost want him to go sooner so he'll be back sooner, which makes no sense at all!

Hi @Meadowfinch similar here.
We dropped DD off at Brighton on Saturday (48 hours ago, feels like weeks)
Yesterday she was out and about, very breezy and all OK but today she seems very down, it’s awful.
She attempted to go to a Freshers gig tonight (studying music) but turned up on her own, everyone in groups….shes gone back to her digs via Sainsbury’s to get redbush tea and tons of chocolate
She’s great when on stage performing but socially clams up (I blame her father lol)
Hope your DS finds his way too soon 🥰

hi I think I am in the wrong thread - does anyone know if there is one for those starting Yr 13? cheers