Graduation present - is it a thing?

[Treviarpelli]

Dd graduates this year, we’re beyond proud, we have funded her and will celebrate with her generously- but it’s only just occurring to me that graduation gifts are a thing?
Likewise flowers on the day, she seems to think they’re a thing, I think they’ll be a pain in the arse waste of money personally

My DDs graduated 11 and 10 years ago. No presents. They had loans but we could have paid. We didn’t as we gave them £300,000 each for house deposits. Is that stealth boasting enough! And generous enough? I know what they would rather have! One has paid off the loan.

My son had a university hoodie and we had a lovely dinner out. He was happy. Job done.

I think it is probably more for social media. The girl gets photographed in her graduation gear holding flowers for insta photos. Never saw it at any graduation I have been to. But my son has got his masters this year so may see it then. I agree with them being a pain to carry around and would die before you got them home.

Yes for weddings (but I paid for mine, and I expect my kids to pay for theirs). New homes, sure. But maybe no if I gift them money for it. Babies? You mean a gift to my daughter? No. The baby? Absolutely.

My parents bought me a framed print of the city where I studied. I still love it over 20 years later!

DD1 with integrated Masters got a meal.
DD2 with integrated Masters got a bear.
DD1 with PhD got flowers and lunch.
Both seemed delighted with all offerings.

Edited to add that DD1 was working & living 15 minutes away from the graduation so the flowers were soon in a vase in her house.

If you were planning to give your child something to help them transition to their new life, then just wrap it up and call it a graduation gift. That bit of cash you were planning to toss them to help them with their new flat or buying some groceries is now tucked inside a pretty card and feels magical to them.

I've got a question. I know you have to hire the gown but does everyone pay for an official photo or do you just take your own?

If you pay for photos, does everyone get one with their parents as well please say no to that one

Another question ... what happened to the OP? 🙂

You always talk about your barrister daughter who paid off her loan. What became of t'other one? Did she become a barista?

With DD1’s first graduation we had the official photos & yes, they did include a couple with us. With her PhD we had one official one of just her then loads of phone pics. Her housemates were all there so there were lots to choose from! DH was working abroad then so it seemed wrong to have one with me & not him in it (he was able to watch the livestream).

In DD2’s case, we did the official photos and chose a package of the best of her alone plus one of all 4 of us. It cost a bit but how often do they graduate?

No graduation photos in our house. I have no photos at all of mine. The compromise I negotiated with my parents was that I would show up but only if there was no photographic evidence. We took a few phone photos at the DC's graduations. They didn't want official ones and I couldn't see the point on wasting money on pictures that are only going to gather dust in the bottom of a drawer anyway. It's certainly not compulsory and I didn't feel any pressure to get official photos.

Dd doesnt have any official photos, but DH is really good photographer and took loads on the day. They come up on our alexa show regurlarly and they are a lovely reminder of the day.

Thanks. I don't begrudge anyone an official photo but don't want to be in one and prefer phone snaps.

Agree, 10-15 yrs ago presents weren't a thing to my knowledge. And the majority of parents hadnt funded us because we were able to live off loans. At my graduation a couple of people had cakes and I was a little sad not to have anything admittedly. We just went for a coffee. For my postgrad many yrs later my parents kindly took me for a nice meal (nothing fancy but v nice for us as we never eat out) and we had a glass of Prosecco, really nice.

Weddings its expected, babies.. give what you can, new home not necessary. I give money begrudgingly for weddings - not quite aa fun when youre not planning to be married yourself but have exactly the same costs and didn't actually want to go to the wedding.... - babies, same same, shouldn't be expected, baby showers luckily are not a thing on my circle. New house you may get a card and/or a plant

My dd is graduating this year, too and I’m going to buy her some nice earrings as a gift. She has worked long and hard. I think it would be nice for her to have a gift to mark the occasion.

I'm definitely going to give my DD a graduation gift purely because I love buying her presents. No flowers though!

We had family celebration meals out. We bought DD a lovely leather work bag that she uses every day. I think DS got AirPods for his Undergrad, cant remember for his Masters tbh but it would have been something for a few hundred dollars, not thousands. Flowers for DD, DS wouldn’t have wanted them.

When I graduated 25 years ago me and my friends were all bought gifts by our families. I got given a bunch of flowers by my gran, I still treasure the photo of us both.

I will be buying my eldest a gift too because I want to mark the occasion and show them how proud I am of them. We have supported them through it all financially but I se that as part of being their parent, not a gift in itself.

Graduation gifts have been a thing forever.

Back in the early 80s, every woman I graduated with seemed to get a gold watch from their parents, and the men got nice watches too. Many got flowers.

We paid for an official photo, we could pick a family photo or an individual photo and we picked the one just of the graduate, we took plenty of family photos after.

Flowers yes - seems to be a thing. Present- a nice watch? I don’t think my DD will want anything tbh, a celebratory dinner that’s it.

I’ve been to four graduation ceremonies with my sons & it has never even crossed my mind to buy them presents. We celebrated with meals & hotel stays where necessary.