Graduation present - is it a thing?

[Treviarpelli]

Dd graduates this year, we’re beyond proud, we have funded her and will celebrate with her generously- but it’s only just occurring to me that graduation gifts are a thing?
Likewise flowers on the day, she seems to think they’re a thing, I think they’ll be a pain in the arse waste of money personally

For my first graduation my mum got me a Charles Rennie Mackintosh brooch (that was the only time I wore it, still got it though). For my second, she got me a pen and letter opener set. Both nice presents. Didn't get flowers, but the thought never even occurred to me.

Exactly - we’re planning to pay fees and living costs so they will graduate with no debt, that’s present enough I think! Might stretch to a bunch of flowers! Anyway we’re some years away!

I work for a uni. Lots of graduates walking around with flowers. Sometimes massive bouquets which are a real pain if it’s hot. Maybe a small cortage or something. To pin on the gown so the person is hands free. They usually have to carry their certificate too and drinks in the party afterwards.

What is all this? We were just planning to go for dinner afterwards.

Some people won’t be doing that, but they might buy a gift. Others might do both, or none, or something completely different. I’m sure you know that though so this faux naive ‘what is all this?’ is 🙄

not faux at all. I had no idea all this was a ‘thing’. Everyone I know is just doing the ceremony and dinner.

It is faux because it’s hardly unimaginable that some may like to buy a gift or flowers for a special occasion and when someone has achieved something.

But it is a pretty odd idea to give someone a bunch of flowers when you aren't going to their home, or at a point like them leaving work and going directly home.

Graduation Day is a really daft time for someone to receive a bunch of flowers due to firstly the giver, then later the recipient, having to cart them round all day / presumably stuff them under their seat in the ceremony, etc.

Of course you need to get her a Graduation present!

Why ?

There's no 'of course' about it.

I graduated 39 years ago and my parents bought me a bracelet and took me out to dinner. Dd got a handbag for her graduation gift. She also had flowers on the day - practically all the women and a fair chunk of men did too. The university had a room for coats, bags and flowers for during the ceremony and she took them back to a friend’s flat where she changed before going out for dinner. They did look great in the photos.

Are you kidding me? On what planet would a parent not buy their own DAUGHTER a graduation present? I'm glad I don't live there. DH and I would never have dreamed of not giving our 2 DC graduation presents!

I suppose you're one of these posters who thinks no-one over 16 should expect a birthday card or gift, and Valentines Day and Mothers Day cards and gifts and the like are 'pointless.'

You do you. Not buying your own adult child a present for their graduation is odd IMO.

Nobody got presents when I graduated. It just wasn't a present buying event. Not something that had occurred to me that it was. I'll gauge what the lie of the land is in a few years when my DC are there. I don't object to buying a present but it isn't obvious to me that it's expected.

Don't get her a teddy or anything graduation themed unless she's expressly said she wants one. It's just tat which will never be used (from personal experience - I was given a graduation teddy) and be a total waste of money.

If you want to get her something i'd go for something like an inexpensive piece of jewellery she can actually use regularly (i.e. that suits her tastes)

Why are you so upset about what other people do?!

I didn't get a graduation card, present or flowers back in the 90s and didn't expect anything - it just wasn't the done thing as far as I know. My parents came to me graduation and paid for a hotel, a photo and a meal so it was lovely.

If things have changed then I'm sure we'll get our DC gifts when the time comes. But there's no "of course" about it for me

Mine are 28 and 26 so graduated a few years ago. I didn’t notice anyone with flowers at either ceremony, and agree that they’d just have been a nuisance.

I wonder if they are more common at some universities than at others, or just that things have changed everywhere in the last few years.

It didn’t occur to us to give them presents either, though obviously I don’t know if their friends were given any.

I bought my niece, the 'Oxford book of clinical medicine' because she is now a Dr. I think, depending on the course something practical for their new career is a nice thing to do.

Jewellery is quite a nice thing but it doesn't need to be diamonds, a bracelet or a charm they can wear on their existing bracelet or maybe a ring.

But the best gift you can give any graduate is to tell them you are proud of them.

I don't think a meal out is a present, neither is new outfits for the parents!

My dad bought me a new car and gave me about £1000 towards a fun summer post-graduation.

Are you on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills??

Out of interest, for posters who are shocked that graduation gifts are a thing and think they shouldn’t be, what are your opinions on gifts for weddings, new homes, and new babies?

Paid for gown hire.
Paid for kilt hire.
Will take for meal, alongside any friends who don't have family there.
Will give cash.
Not sure he'd want stuff! Cash is the best thing at this stage 😂

My parents are buying my DC a graduation gift.

We are not. We have paid the fees and all her living costs so she has no student debt.

DD was going travelling before starting grad job so she got an osprey rucksack still being used nearly 10 years on.

I don't think I'll be giving my daughter a wedding present if I've paid for the wedding as well.

My parents didn't give me a wedding present as such, but they paid for my wedding dress and they paid for half of the venue costs.

if they have a baby, I will definitely be buying the baby a present. But I won't have been paying for anything else to do with the baby like I will have done for a wedding or have done for putting my daughter through university.

Bought dd a Clogau necklace has she went to uni in Wales and has weksh heritage.
DS will finally graduate this year (long story) and may commission something from a local artist he likes