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[LeDix]

I am starting this thread in response to my DD's not receiving an offer from Oxford yesterday. She is disappointed, but hasn't taken it too badly, so that could be worse I suppose. Trouble is she gave so little thought to other universities, and her UCAS application was so specific to the course at Oxford we are a little bit worried that she might not even get other offers. Her second choice would be Durham but the course there is very very different to the one at Oxford, so we could imagine them reading her personal statement and rejecting her out of hand!

This is meant to be a supportive thread @OhDear111

@OhDear111 is famously lacking in politeness and tact. Ignore

I thought it was pragmatic and offered a helpful re-framing.

@tumbletoast Thank you. Of course dc get invested in this process but it’s certainly wise to take a pragmatic view at an early stage. Let’s face it, most dc who are good enough to apply are already winners and very bright!

I said this on another thread, but DC graduated from C last summer and of the 6 students who topped the tripos in that subject, 5 were reapplicants. So what does that say about the tutors' ability to select people who will best thrive on the courses?

When you meet these tutors, some of them are quite odd, ti say the least. Selection is so subjective, but they have to do something nevertheless.

DC was rejected first time but got in second time. The only difference was interviewers more aligned to his interests and grades in hand, rather than predicted.

Also, a big fuss is made about the workload at C but really, I can't see how it's any different to any other uni. Some people like to perpetrate a certain hype, but really, any degree is what you make it. You put in what you can and do your best with the material (or not)!

Also, it is simply not true that students at C are all hyper-focused. Lol! They are the same as any kids at other top unis - hardly a breed apart or anything remotely like that! Anyone with A stars and As at A-level and a reasonable work ethic could go to O or C and get at least a 2:1. It's no different to LSE or Imperial or Durham or St As or lots of other similar unis. It's just a degree.

Loads of them get do behind at Cambridge and have to intermit. There are young people there with lots of complex issues - a higher incidence of autism is very evident, as is ADHD or confusion around social situations, sexuality, you name it. Like at any uni. The ones at C are no different to anyone else in these respects.

it's a lovely town to be a student in and there is a special vibe, this is true. But apart from that, bar a few genius types (few and far between), the students are absolutely no different to anyone at other top unis.

Aldo, some of the tutors are absolutely bizarre, to the point of useless in any real life context. Doing niche research does not mean you can teach and many see having to take supervisions as an inconvenience.

Tutors seem to want to train young people to be academics (like them). DC had one tutor who came to C as an undergrad and never left and just wrote one book nobody ever read particularly. DC said there was no way they were staying at C for postgrad as he didn't want to become like that! Do he went to Imperial and the way they link you up to job opportunities is a world apart, frankly.

Sorry if it sounds like I'm running C down because it is a special place - no doubt about it and well done to anyone who goes there. But it really is not the end all and be all and (it goes without saying) there are much worse things that can (and do) happen to young people than not going to C or O.

@staypositive26 I agree. My dd dodged a bullet!

My dd is doing the same course as the poster you quoted’s daughter but is in her 3rd hear. She didn’t apply to Oxbridge (2 x A star and an A) and she finds the course challenging - she is particularly enjoying her dissertation and has an amazing supervisor. Yes theee are some people who don’t do the pre reading but I think you get that everywhere but in general she finds the cohort engaged. That said she doesn’t particularly have any course friends mainly due to having made great friends in college. Two of her best friends are doing classics (or classics and something) and they really enjoy the course.

she has really enjoyed her time at Durham but does find the extreme privilege of many students troubling and their attitude towards those from different backgrounds (dd is from a state school) and the apathy of many towards voting etc - in comparison with my child at Manchesters this is much more of a thing at Durham.

My DS (state educated) is at Durham and most people are perfectly nice regardless of background. However there is quite a privileged minority who are quite keen that their privilege is understood by everyone.

Early on he was approached by a drunk girl outside a nightclub (a stranger to him) and interrogated about his background. Starting with the age old opener of where he had gone to school. She then explained her own background and circumstances and offered to facetime her mother so that DS could be given a virtual tour of their estate... He wasn't too troubled by this but afterwards thought that the whole thing was so odd that it was probably some sort of initiation ritual for the girl.

Displaying an inclusive attitude to this sort of thing might be stretching a point.

DD went o Durham( state school educated) and found friends who were with state or grammar school. Interestingly, she and her state school friend had the highest A level grades of all of her wider group, private school included. That made me so proud. She came out with a first and an award for her dissertation and is now flying high.

Haha are you always this unpleasant?

Durham has a long problematic history of issues from privileged students towards those from less privileged backgrounds which has resulted in offers being withdrawn from students in recent years. Durham has actively acknowledged the disproportionate number of private school students who take up places there especially at the Bailey colleges. There is ample research to show the problem. There is also the less obvious way which state school students are othered such as the ubiquitous “where did you go to school” question - this shouldn’t need any explanation as to why this is an issue! Durham are actively addressing the issue with this type of problem together with the “where are you from” question - Freps are trained not to ask this question.

My daughter is a 3rd year and has had a great time and I can assure you she is not the problem but failing to acknowledge some areas where Durham really needs to do better / different is quite concerning.

Students not caring about voting because their lives are quite comfortable and privileged- I would say that’s sad that they don’t want a fairer future and to raise others up but hey you do you. Voter apathy amongst young voters is acknowledged as a major concern.

She has no interest in everyone being like her - I’m confused you argue for acceptance and inclusivity whilst supporting things which are anything but!

No contextual offers?

@OhDear111 I think you have misread my post. I haven’t said she despises anyone - I said she finds it troubling.

i don’t agree with you that anyone should be grateful for the privilege of a Durham or any other education and be expected to excuse blatant discrimination which appears to be what you are suggesting - apologies if I have misunderstood you. Durham students have obtained amazing grades and deserve their places - they certainly shouldn’t be grateful for the privilege.

As I have said my daughter has really enjoyed her time at Durham - both the course and the social side of things and would recommend both to others.

All I have done is point out some very well known problems with the uni - which they acknowledge and are actively trying to remedy. With all universities there are both good and bad and considering both is important in making an informed decision. My original post was if anything sticking up for Durham students in the face of criticism from another poster and I also said that my dd had friends studying the course the OP was asking about and very much enjoying it.

Durham is great and has much to offer but it is important to acknowledge its problems as well.

Anyway I will leave this thread as this is all a bit silly!

OP I hope your dd enjoys wherever she chooses to go!

I'm afraid some parents of privately educated dc can't accept that their offspring may not have the best attitude towards their less educated peers. My dd isn't at Durham but it somewhere else with a high proportion of students from the private sector and has been asked whether she found it annoying being educated with 'thickos,' and has seen someone constantly being questioned about 'only' going to somewhere in the Uk fon holiday: 'Oh, wow - for your MAIN holiday?' was repeated in an incredulous tone, for example. She says most people are lovely and obviously everyone has flaws, but she has definitely come across some people who are strangely unaware of their own privilege.

Have you quoted the wrong person?

DD didn't experience any of that.

@landlordhell Some dc actually go looking for differences and are the ones who are unable to mix. Certainly unable to integrate with others due to entrenched views. I blame the parents. Most dc completely ignore where others come from and where they were educated and find common interests. It’s a sad reflection on our country that we still educate dc to think that others are not good enough. How dare they not vote! Bizarre.

If someone is hostile towards dc perceived to be “privileged” and critical of them, why on earth would they give her the time of day? Clearly they would be friends with less difficult and judgmental people, Lets hope she doesn’t get a job with people she despises.

Maybe start another thread @OhDear111 to discuss your issue of inverse snobbery, instead of criticising other people’s children in an inappropriate context

@Umbilicat I didn’t start the derail. It came from elsewhere and needs addressing. It wasn’t my idea to post about other dc at Durham who don’t have a voice here.

On a different note… I believe TMUA Jan results out on 11th Feb, has anyone had Warwick offers for CompSci who took the later TMUA? Still waiting here… not sure how optimistic to be about score as MAT was a lot lower than DS had hoped, which did help with making sense of no offer from Oxford after seemingly good interviews, v v few with DS score would have been offered, and he’s fine with that.

We are waiting to hear from Warwick too-my DC sat the TMUA in Oct. I have only heard of one offer so far, before Christmas.
My DC achieved a very high score in the MAT and thought their interviews went well but was rejected 🤷‍♀️ - no idea why yet.

Meant to add @Nuffalready, has your DC applied anywhere else requiring the TMUA?

@AprilMay75 No, not applied for Imperial, think that’s the only other TMUA one? Waiting on the usual suspects who always offer late, so Durham and StA’s. It’s probably a little harder for your DC not getting into Oxford with a great MAT score and good interviews, but we’ll probably never know the mysterious workings of the decision makers! Your DC has likely got a great TMUA score I would think, (given MAT result), which bodes well for offers from Imperial or Warwick,,just more waiting!….

We have had offers from Bath and Warwick for Maths, both AstarAstarA. I found a webpage suggesting that Warwick would give an offer a grade lower than the usual offer (AstarAstarA) if the TMUA score was over 5.

However, I later found another webpage that I think might be more recent, that suggests that the standard offer for Maths is now AstarAstarA plus either a TMUA over 5 or a STEP qualification.

So maybe Warwick are increasing their demands?

Also, DS is now saying that if he gets 3 or 4 A*s he would like to reapply to Oxford.

It is, of course, his decision. However, either Bath or Warwick, or his insurance choice of Southampton, look like great Universities and he would be very employable with a maths degree from there.

It looks as though the chances of being accepted after re-applying would still be relatively small.

His choice, though.

And if this motivates him to work really hard for his A levels, then that may be a good thing.