I wrote a long post before Ds walked in. About what I had to do to help ASD DS survive and acclimatize and I was an awful lot harder than you in enforcing readiness, through independent study and a love of libraries after he had to be home educated through IGCSE's and A levels, regardless of EHCP's etc.
He wouldn't accept DLA as a child as didn't believe he was disabled.
Everyone else was the problem. These things have consequences so he later had to take a gap year so we could both save for him and he got to mature a bit. But also wasn't prepared to deal with DSA as didn't believe he needed it and didn't want to be labelled or different, and also refused to apply for PIP.
That stubbornness can be the making or breaking of them depending where they focus it.
Ds also could only access uni's living at home. Was very realistic that he could learn independent living, or he could do a degree, but not both at the same time.
Was right but a warning sign about how much each day took out of him.
It took him a 1st year of M.Eng at one uni, and then another 1st year of his second degree course at the same university that I'd enrolled at, (which got him there and back, but usually minus something needed) and huge support from me often on site, before how to navigate and survive, then thrive, finally clicked in properly.
It came only just in time as 2nd year was massively harder and less leeway given. There where still serious meltdowns. That was with some of the more important academic skills already in place. His mental exhaustion levels where scary. Spiky profiles are hard going.
I suspect your Ds has started without enough basic general skills to understand how his course works and utilize what uni offers, and you've assumed DSA will look after him rather more than they will if he isn't seeking them out.
He sounds just not yet be uni ready even with support from DSA, no matter how academically able in some areas he is. It's not a disaster not to be. There's time.
I saw others on both Ds's course, and my own, who really weren't ready or able and didn't manage to engage enough to do more than survive on extension after extension with capped marks, and eventually either accepting a DipHE or
scraped low 2.2's or thirds but without actually acquiring the skills needed to use the education or gain more than very basic NMW work on exit. Refusing to let him continue if he's struggling this badly, may be a kindness in disguise.
I may be wrong, but I know how much home support Ds needed to get him to the point he was able to use uni education and his tutors well.
Your Ds has used a years funding and still has three years of available funding left,enough for a degree still, and is very young. I'd be very careful not to let them potentially get wasted by trying to push him through at this point when he may need it at another.
Wishing you the best, it's not easy whatever you do.
Some (slightly brutal) comments from DS:
Uni support systems aren't there to make the horse drink. They are there to help direct horses complaining about thirst find where the water is.
The library is one of the perks of uni and if you spend three years in it, even if you failed your degree, you wouldn't have wasted your time. There's stuff in there that lecturers don't bother telling you.
If a student isn't requesting and engaging with academic and admin support there's no uni obligation to provide it at all. Tutors aren't generally interested in students who wont help themselves, they've met too many of them.
Parental interference (and that is how uni will see it even with his permission) will only get him so far. A degree is part of showing you can independently function, and seek appropriate support when you can't, and are therefore a useful as well as educated bod, no matter what issues you come with.
M.Eng depts can be the worst for sink or swim attitudes. Personal tutors being distant is normal. Half the dept is ASD and disinterested in communication.
At least one phd student who is further on the spectrum than you is likely to be part of the teaching staff.
Ist yr M.Eng maths is about leveling the maths ability of the cohort especially the gap between maths and further maths students. FM students will 100% coast this module. He's right that it means nothing. (fellow maths brain)
Fluid dynamics is probably the most challenging 1st yr module and a good indicator of subject engagement and ability.
(If similar structure) then material science module is the least maths based module which means if he's leaning heavily on maths ability rather than overall scientific ability this is where it will show up.
M.Eng requires more teamwork and communication than they tell you.
From a holistic marking perspective how you respond to feedback is vital in any uni study. Failing to respond is seen as ignoring tutors. In uni it informs the stages of your coursework, and may be telling you how to answer the question. (Somewhere there may be a frustrated lecturer banging their head on the wall crying why isn't he reading my feedback that would get him the pass?)
If he is hoping to get a further resit on this module and then interrupt to catch up, he needs to resit before end of August to avoid a huge mess with his student finance.