Son not allowed to continue to second year at uni

[PocketSand]

DS2 has just completed his first year in an engineering degree. His results are all over the place from 1st in maths to 2:2 to required resits. He exceeded the A level grade requirements for MEng. He is autistic and has ADHD. He was un medicated prior to and during most of his first year due to shortages followed by referral to cardiology.

His DSA support didn't start til the spring term and one support worker provided 1 hour support when 30 hours was approved. He constantly tells the one he has seen that everything is fine and they believe him.

He always says everything is fine and doesn't ask for help. He has never been to the library and relies totally on lecture notes. He doesn't know what independent study is. I have always been his advocate but now he is expected to advocate for himself. No one at the uni knows these issues - he has not even contacted his personal tutor let alone disability services and just thinks he needs to work harder.

He found out today that he has failed his third submission of a lab report he initially submitted in February. He did not have DSA agreed support at that time so he didn’t have his own laptop. He borrowed another student’s at the time but when he had to resubmit no longer had access to his results and so he tried to cobble together a report using specimen (and maybe someone else’s results - not clear). He had previously received an email saying he couldn’t proceed unless he passed resubmission. I assume that’s where we are at now.

His feedback is harsh - shouldn’t study for a degree if not prepared to use feedback to improve his work. Trouble is he often doesn’t understand the feedback and he is unwilling to ask for clarification as he fears tutor’s anger. He says he doesn’t know who marked the work so doesn’t know who to talk to and seems generally clueless about most administrative issues.

I feel completely in the dark and don’t know where to go from here. Obviously I don’t want to just give up and accept his journey ends here as it seems very unfair but don’t know what I can do to try and enable him to fix this or if it can be fixed.

Can anyone who knows the system provide advice on next steps please?

It might be that the degree route just isn’t fit him. If he needs to be able to do indecent study, that’s what uni is all about.

Maybe as he’s so good at Maths - an eg. Accountancy path or similar is more suitable for him.

At risk of sounding harsh, is full time uni the right place for him? Is there a better means of learning for him eg Open University or somewhere where he would maybe have more time and less pressure? From what your post describes he really sounds like he is struggling with a lot of aspects, including not understanding feedback, so how would he cope if he ended up in a pressured job, which I can imagine his degree could lead to? Is there any wiggle room or is he determined in what he wants to do?

@BeltaLodaLifeI wanted to buy him a laptop for the start of the course but he insisted he didn’t need one. DSA persuaded him he did but due to not responding to emails its arrival was delayed. The uni are well aware of his extra needs and have been since he applied. It was required with evidence including EHCP and medical and reports for the uni and disability support. Unfortunately teaching staff are unaware of his disabilities and he is masking with them.

Normally the summer before new students start is when all support is arranged. Did you help him to sort that? Otherwise I don't understand why the support didn't start until spring. The DSA staff will be working over the summer but you need to contact them NOW - together.

I don't understand about the lack of laptop either, it's a vital tool for every student regardless of additional needs.

Edit: crossposted re laptop - how odd

Is he ready for university? Does he need a year out to improve these aspects he is struggling with in a less pressurised environment? Has he ever had a job? Could he volunteer somewhere? Maybe a few more life skills are needed and he can defer repeating his first year if he cannot move university as you have said. Although I am not sure why he has to live at home - is it a financial thing or a support thing? I only know one person who lived at home while at uni because it was at the end of her road - but this was London and to all intents and purposes she lived away as she was always sleeping on someone’s sofa or floor so as to not miss out on things. If he cannot attend university without living at home then I think that is indicating that he is not ready for the rigours of higher education I am sorry.

Why didn’t you have yourself in place to talk on his behalf and make sure the right support was in place before he started?

He has to engage first. Student and disabilities aren't mind readers and they're not there to chase students who won't engage in the fist place.

It's unfortunate that this is only coming to light now.

Honestly, in my experience pressure is usually good for ADHDers as it concentrates the mind and makes things urgent for them. If I’d attempted an OU degree before I had a diagnosis I would have done nothing at all until I had a deadline that all my submissions needed to be in, and then I’d attempt to do them all in one night (24hours before they were due).

It sounds like his disability has really impacted his ability to engage meaningfully with his degree - both in terms of self motivated study and also the aspect of rejection sensitivity and demand avoidance (needing to speak to tutors but not coping well with negative feedback so avoiding the whole thing and therefore not being able to improve or access explanations about what is needed to improve). Where his natural ability carried him through he’s evidently done well but he clearly needs the support to improve where he’s missing the mark. Does medication usually help with these problems? Is he back on it now?

Can he repeat the year?

This is tricky - some of it's the university's fault, but not all of it. The support taking ages to start is not good enough - even if he didn't tell them before he started. It's bad that he didn't have access to the results he needed to produce the lab report resubmission. He should also have more than an hour's support

Unfortunately it does sound like, if he is not prepared to clarify feedback or ask for support, university will just not work for him. Aside from the point being independence, it would be impossible to force support on someone who insisted he didn't need it and refused to engage with what was there. I suspect starting again and having, as part of agreed support, a coach to help him learn to ask for help and transition to that more independent learning environment will be key. Perhaps remote study would be useful - better choice and perhaps more support available online rather than on campus?

Ultimately if he can't improve work based on feedback or admit when he needs support, he won't be able to do much with an engineering degree - this may be an incentive for him to challenge himself. (I'm saying all this assuming he can do that - if having someone else advocate for him at all times is an access need, post-secondary education will need to look a bit different).

But what does he want to do? I'm in the minority group here in thinking that your role is less of advocate and spokesperson and more of coach and wise counsel now.

I wanted to buy him a laptop for the start of the course but he insisted he didn’t need one. So I think you'd have more sympathy with the other adults in his life. You "let him down" no less than they have.

Didn’t you do a DSA application for him when he did his UCAS?

I am fully expecting to be in this position when my son start university.

You know that autistic children are younger than their peers and sometimes this means they’re thrown in at the deep end.

He should have had a laptop and an honest meeting with his tutor when he started - you absolutely need to advocate for him and make him let you “in”

can he take a year out, work and start again? It seems like he needs to catch up maturity wise. I started a degree and dropped out because I just couldn’t cope with it - maybe this is what he needs. (I have adhd)

I then continued it after a year out and was far more organised and disciplined

OP, is your child attending a Scottish University? One of my children is doing an MEng. Top of their year, every year, in school, 4A* at A level etc. in Scouts for years … very motivated, organised, socially very good etc, love their course BUT even with all those advantages the course is brutal in terms of workload, time-management.. every aspect of it. If they are struggling in year one and two, let me tell you it is nothing compared to the hell that is year three. The only way my child survived was because they had a core group of friends on the course who carried each other They were in the library every morning at 7:15 am.
I tell you all this as a mother of another child (student’s sibling) with profound, complex needs including severe learning disability. So I’ve experienced all points on the education journey.
It may very well be that this is not the right course for your son. It might be if they have a huge amount of one-to-one support, but I’m going to suggest that they have some time out working on their independence skills. Perhaps something like a degree apprenticeship course, working in industry with the support of colleagues and other apprentices might be more manageable at this time.
Not all journeys are straight roads and sometimes we might have to take a little teacher to get to the same
Best wishes to you both

This all boils down to him not asking for the help he needs from the relevant people.

If he can't do that, then is he actually cut out to get a degree at university?

Sure but if uni doesn’t know they don’t know to provide and it all seems a bit late.

OP this all feels a little bit like trying to put the horse back in the stable after it has bolted.

I think unfortunately this is the taste of the ‘real’ world after uni and how things will go. He wasn’t set up to succeed and won’t if he continues down this path. I think it’s worthy having a real think about what is best for him and how he will best succeed in life after these interventions aren’t always available.

I don’t know but saying five months later (when lab report was due) and having two other opportunities to hand it in that he needs extra support feels a bit unfair.

3 tries at a submission and not passing has blown it in afraid

Have they offered he retakes the first year with just the area he has failed to be retaken. A lot of Unis will do this. It also means the fees are only based as a % of the course he has to retake.
He should email them and ask
Usually they offer options, I imagine if they haven’t it’s not a possibility but it’s always worth asking

Nevertheless there will be appeal advice on the Unis website. That doesn’t mean he can go straight back to Uni come September as most Unis have appeals stretching well into the first term. Appeals are based on asking the reason for failing and looking for extenuating circumstances
eg death in the family of immediate relative
hospital admission and stay that prevented submission etc

Ultimately Unis expect students to engage with their tutors and discuss problems. They are adults. As he doesn’t have a relationship with his personal tutor it will make the appeal process much harder.

It sounds, however, that Uni isn't the right place for him at the moment. Independent study for example is a crucial part of studying for a degree, it’s not school and it won’t all be handed on a plate just in lectures
Id suggest working for at least a year and then re apply.

Universities as I said expect to engage with their students. Not the parents

Son of a friend of mine who is autistic went to a superb Uni. The support services were excellent. First year autistic students and others with particular needs were able to access their accommodation two days before the other students, thus giving them time to quietly get to know the campus. They were each provided with a free laptop and help was given to ensure they had all the benefits they were entitled to. There was a 24/7 emergency number in case of meltdown or just not coping. All tutors were informed. Excellent liaison with parents. But,,,,had to let the Uni know at the very beginning.

Where does he want the degree to take him? The support it sounds like he needs wouldn’t be available to him in the workplace, so there needs to be a plan to reduce the support and up his skills/independence.

It is the lap report that has been the stumbling block - is it the practical side of the course he is finding harder? The maths for engineering is very different to maths maths, but he might be happier with doing a straight maths course or his uni might offer applied maths courses or financial maths if they are of interest?

A degree isn’t right for everyone and trying to go down a path you don’t fit well can end up very stressful.

It’s hard to believe that he started a degree course without a laptop-that’s a requirement for any degree. If he can’t manage his studying even while living at home then I’d say University isn’t suitable for him. Maybe accountancy would be a better choice. Didn’t you notice he wasn’t revising?

What does your son want the outcome to be?

If he doesn't tell them how will they know? I have work in education and you get all the excuses and reasons once they have failed everything which is pointless. It's too little too late.

It sounds as if he needs some life skills before he tries again, I work in the industry that he's studying for and although it's a while before he enters the workplace, he will need to improve his communication skills in order to get on.
It sounds as if an honest chat is needed as to what he wants to do and what is best for him .Try not to be disheartened , he's young and has plenty of time to sort things out.

Sounds like he has a lot to work out before he goes back into university or similar.

I too suspect that he may be on the wrong course. Perhaps applied math somewhere.

The whole point of University is independent study. If he's at University age and has no concept of it as you say, perhaps - with kindness - it's not for him?

Regardless, if you're aware that he has limitations when it comes to asking for help and advocating for the support he needs, you really should have been proactive in ensuring that these things were in place for him before things got this far.

And I don't understand how anyone - additional needs or not - is supposed to cope with university without their own laptop?

I would agree. Engineering is a job where you have to be able to take on board and ask for feedback if needed. It could ultimately be dangerous otherwise.

I'd ask the uni if he can transfer to maths.