Yup! Sorry for the length of posts.
You literally need to teach the difference between NT minds, and ND. I'm aware there's a side debate about accuracy of these terms, but anyone with a child/YA with substantial communication, learning and understanding difficulties, caused by ASD recognizes what the sometimes very substantial difficulties are, and how they are a barrier to achievement, relationships, and damaging to MH.
You 'look stupid' more often when you don't ask, than when you do.
What you look like and what you are, are often different.
Want to look like you know what you're doing, or want to be actually able to do it?
The more you understand people the more you'll realize there are three groups of people: those who look like they can, those who actually can, and those that can do both. Follow the plan and eventually you'll end up in the third group.,
It's an ongoing battle for a few years, whatever age it's fought at.
We did it in early teens (onward) and I took advantage of the natural 'terror' most of us have the first few times behind the wheel of a car, and taught him to drive both to offset 'not being as able as other young males' and get him listening to me over the displayable reality of how others clearly aren't mind readers, which means 'you kind of have to be.'
It's finding a balance over beliefs of what 'stupid' is, what communication is, what responsibility is, what responsibilities we have to others, including those we might privately think are either stupid or being stupid despite visible intelligence.
One used here when asking in group settings is "I know theoretically there's no such thing as a stupid question, but....?" (decent tutors will spot the usefulness of this and pounce on it to reassure all that asking questions is never stupid)
"I may have finally found the one stupid question, but going to ask it anyway...."
When dealing with same age cohort: "this may well be a DOH! moment, but is your understanding of xyz ....?" or "what's your understanding of....?"
"This may turn out to be a 'should have gone to specsavers moment, but....?" etc
Learning a level of self deprecating humor, allows for group bonding regardless of differences, as well as answers.
The 'shared minds*' is also common. Again back at Level 1, early days, Ds simply couldn't get his head around me being a separate entity who didn't know what had happened because I wasn't there. As he developed, these things became clearer consciously, but not reflected in any written work.
If a similar profile: also huge issues with starting sentences in the middle, minus context. (I adapted Cluedo to a manslaughter mystery game to help overcome some of this; ie Captain Context caused the death, by misunderstood text message, in the cleaning store. Admin Ass U Me caused it, by disabling the fire alarm, in the dormitory. We had adapted Cards Against Humanity too. Cliched stuff but it helps and allows difficult conversations to flow.)
At an earlier age I realized he took in and assessed information differently, when his assumption was the answer to why did 'John get angry and tear Ben's red shirt?' was because it was red. He couldn't find any other logical information in the question, (did not understand there was a relationship with the piece just read) and red was the color of blood, and what bullfighters used, so.... He did not see comprehension questions as related to anything else even though present. I had to teach him that it was related, and then deal with sometimes the information IS actually in the question.
IME these early mis- understandings re-emerge in more sophisticated form when under sufficient stress. They are never entirely overwritten.
*Subconsciously, it's part of the issues about feeling criticized. If you subconsciously assume others know what you know, then anything they say that suggests you don't have the full picture over anything they know, is then a source of criticism, possibly intentional one upmanship, and a lack of equality. Asking them for help seems counter intuitive.