Cost of student accommodation, I could cry

[ElbowsUpRising]

So Dd has found out today she’s been accepted into Manchester and is looking at accommodation, of course all the stuff she likes is £260 a week. 51 week contract as well! It’s all the fancy, swish stuff though she is adamant the reason she wants the expensive stuff is because she’s prioritising her safety as she wants something close as she’s “terrified of getting raped” if she has to walk back to her digs late at night.

she won’t consider a house share, she won’t consider cheaper halls a bit further out.

so accommodation is looking at 13k a year! She will get minimum student loan so think that’s 5k.

she won’t be able to work partly due to her health- she has fibromyalgia but nowhere near bad enough for PIP. Also she will be doing architecture Masters which if anything like her undergraduate degree will be too full on to be able to work as well.

so we will need to find another 8k a year plus however much she will need per week for food, etc. I’m guessing over £50 a week. Nearer £100 a week? So another 5k. How the fuck do people find 13k a year?

im trying to impress on her the difference that cheaper accommodation will make on her (us) and she’s just going nuts and accusing me of risking her safety and putting her at risk of being raped!

Is £260 a week normal?

No. She’s never been to Manchester in her life. Doesn’t know anyone or the area.

I honestly wonder with posts like this it just got worse the more I read.
Why don’t you tell her that you’ll pay half the accommodation and she has to fund the other half herself or go cheaper? That’s more than generous!

My intention with my kids is to fund the missing means tested loan as only fair and that’s it except for odd treats at birthdays and Christmas.
I’m not saving for them but when they’re 30 I hit retirement age and plan to downsize and move out of London and give them some of the equity released- so long as they’re not arseholes.

For context my mum and dad don’t have an o level to rub together. They didn’t give me or my sisters any money except £250 when we turned 21 and £3000 towards a wedding. I’ve worked doing paper rounds from aged 14. Complete working class background. My sisters and I are now in professions and earning well. My older sister is an exec in a ftse 100 company earns loads but started off supporting herself through 6th form on the Elizabeth Duke counter in an Argos on the arse end of a North West estate.
I cannot compute the entitlement. There was no question of my parents paying for things.

If you can afford it I’d give her half otherwise you’re being mugged off. If she wants to throw a hissy fit she won’t get anything at all will she?

minimum wage = £12.21 an hour

40hrs a week for the next 5 months = £9768 plus the money she'll save from not going travelling. Sorted.

Of course if she hadn't been such a lazy cow and got a job as soon as her previous one finished rather than doing nothing she could have worked fewer hours for the same amount of money, or worked full time but also fit in a bit of travelling.

Of course she probably doesn't want to work to earn money to fund her accommodation but presumably neither do you! And of the two of you she is the one who is going to live there so....

@Mummyto2rugrats will be in the Manchester school of architecture which looks like it’s on the a57 directly above the main uni campus?

One of my kids spent 2 years in Moss Court near the uni recently.
Currently starts at £175 a week, it was pretty good really.

To both of mine, I recommended staying as a lodger somewhere instead, but to no avail.

If she carries on with all the insults, threats and emotional blackmail I would withdraw all financial support, 'You're an adult, behave like one!'. If her health problems preclude working part time then I doubt she will be able to hold down a job as an architect, unless she has some miraculous recovery once she's able to earn for herself.

The night buses are great but why are you doing the research for timetables etc, your DD needs to do this for herself!

I've read all your replies. I'm am usually on the "sympathy for the DCs" side of mn but I reqlly feel for you. Your DD sounds selfish and immature.

I'd just leave her to it on her own with that attitude. She's burning through £20k like it's pocket money, which could have gone to pay for her accommodation.

Her friends uni course finished and they left town. So she had nowhere else to go.

What you need to do is work out what, if anything, you can afford and are prepared to give your DD. Then say she's got that much to play with.

Assuming she hasn't saved any money, she then has 3 choices:

1. Get a job
2. Live somewhere cheaper
3. Carry on with her gap years until she's 25 and your income doesn't matter.

You do neither her nor you any favours by continuing to facilitate this. I'd also offer to not buy her the flight to Canada and instead add that to the living funds.

Sounds good. She can definitely look at fallow field

Then she chooses 20k towards university or you wash your hands of her.

My son worked through his undergraduate degree earning around 4k. Then worked full time in an architectural practice for two years. Doing his masters now still working two days a week for the architect who's kept him on.

You've got yourself a princess problem here.

I went to Manchester for my undergrad and masters. I graduated last year. 90% of student will live in Fallowfield - there is a bus service that runs 24 hours from there to uni and then on to town. This is always busy and is very safe. There is a group on facebook “Fallowfield Students Group” which often has people posting looking for accommodation/ house shares. Accommodation in Fallowfield is a lot cheaper than in the city centre and because there is such a concentration of students it has a great community.

Some students also live in Withington / Didsbury a bit further out from uni - these are quieter areas and particularly Didsbury is significantly more expensive.

There is also Victoria Park which is closer to the uni and much quieter than Fallowfield. All my friends who lived there seemed to be in catered halls which works out a lot more expensive than cooking for yourself.

Manchester is a safe city for students - have common sense and don’t go wandering off alone at night but I wouldn’t be worried about living further out the city centre and it is a lot cheaper.

She needs a rethink because no way in hell is she going to manage a career in architecture

Stop it! Your lazy DD should be working this out not you. And the bus timetables. If she can get around Vietnam and/ or South Korea then she can work out which halls are closest and when the buses run. I can’t believe you’re even listening to her slagging areas off and planning for her when SHES NEVER BEEN THERE! Drop the rope FGS.

If you are still intent on giving her anything at all give her a budget per month and tell her to sort it out herself. She honestly sounds like my 14 yr old, but with a worse attitude.

@ElbowsUpRisingI am sorry that your DD is so unpleasant. I hope that you are finding this thread useful.

She was also apparently burnt out after working for a year. Shes spending the next few months travelling. She’s off to Europe at the weekend for a month, hosteling so will be cheap apparently. Then off to Canada for two months in the summer. She’s thinking of going to Vietnam or South Korea inbetween @ElbowsUpRising

If she can travel around the world staying on hostels, she can work.

If she wants to work as an architect or anything tbh she needs to learn to manage her fibromyalgia/health and life, not keep flouncing off (as you've mentioned in a previous post and off travelling) when things get a bit difficult.

OP - I’ve only read up until this point and I am shocked.

Ad others have inferred, you’ve created a monster (though I’m sure you meant it with love and were just intending to be caring).

If you say no she’ll go NC and make terrible claims about you as she’s always the victim.

She won’t last in any architects office at this rate - it’s mainly male dominated and you need thick skin to manage the banter.

Bite the bullet now and say no to the uni fees because she’s spunked her house deposit up the wall.

Son got 20% discount on tuition fees because he's doing his masters at the same university which is well worth having.

it's a short and easy walk from there, Hulme Hall is 100m from the curry mile, a very busy road, my child was there for a year. It's catered, and subsequently expensive.

I think she's being very emotionally manipulative.

Just that really.

Additionally, if she's got the intelligence to be doing a masters then she should be capable of researching public transport options to various student residences whether that is buses or trams, and understanding that the accommodation has to be paid for out of a finite budget.

If she wants the more expensive things in life, she will have to work for them. That’s life

Does she really need ensuite? It's cheaper to go for shared facilities. DS had shared showers and loos at his halls ( not Manchester) and they were kept clean by cleaners, and were in perfectly acceptable condition.
She's going to have to compromise on something, whether it's facilities, distance, or size. The figure you're quoting sounds like it's top of the range accommodation.

Fallowfield is a big hub for students, lots of bars there, swarming with students, pretty noisy. Most Uni cities have an area like this, where rents are up to double what they are 2 miles away.

My child was in Fallowfield for one year, most accommodation is in old terraced houses fitted out as HMOs. Walls were wet inside for 6 months of the year.

Fallowfield is straight down the same road that runs from Manchester City centre, past the Architecture building and curry mile (Rusholme). Buses are frequent and safe.

I would advise Disbury or Withington (next places along that same road, on the same buses) instead, less undergrad vibe, more grown up and less inflated rents from what I know.

You need to leave her to sort this herself. You also need to tell her that she has £20,000 to put towards this and needs to use that rather than blowing it and relying on you to pay for her masters. I'm actually shocked at what I've read about her on this thread!