Cost of student accommodation, I could cry

[ElbowsUpRising]

So Dd has found out today she’s been accepted into Manchester and is looking at accommodation, of course all the stuff she likes is £260 a week. 51 week contract as well! It’s all the fancy, swish stuff though she is adamant the reason she wants the expensive stuff is because she’s prioritising her safety as she wants something close as she’s “terrified of getting raped” if she has to walk back to her digs late at night.

she won’t consider a house share, she won’t consider cheaper halls a bit further out.

so accommodation is looking at 13k a year! She will get minimum student loan so think that’s 5k.

she won’t be able to work partly due to her health- she has fibromyalgia but nowhere near bad enough for PIP. Also she will be doing architecture Masters which if anything like her undergraduate degree will be too full on to be able to work as well.

so we will need to find another 8k a year plus however much she will need per week for food, etc. I’m guessing over £50 a week. Nearer £100 a week? So another 5k. How the fuck do people find 13k a year?

im trying to impress on her the difference that cheaper accommodation will make on her (us) and she’s just going nuts and accusing me of risking her safety and putting her at risk of being raped!

Is £260 a week normal?

Whereabouts in Manchester is the accommodation she's suggesting is unsafe ? People familiar with the city may be able to help ?

Its on the high side - DD1 in London paid a little less than that 2 years ago for ensuite accomodation and DD2 paid quite a bit less for a studio in Nottingham last year.
I think you should give her a budget and tell her that she works out what she can afford from that and if it isn't enough she'll have to find a way of making up the difference. Just because she can't work in term time doesn't mean she can't work in the summer holidays. Also as she's interested in architecture can she draw? If so she might be able to do a side line in house pictures or even Saturday office receptionist for an estate agents?

I think if you can’t afford it, you can’t. She either needs to adjust her expectations or get a job.

How much are the cheaper options? And she can get a lot of Ubers home for the difference.

I’m also guessing you’ve already funded her through her first degree?

If she's doing a masters then she must be at least early 20s.

So, if I was you I would work out what you can comfortably afford to contribute and let her know that you can support with that amount.

The decision then rests with her for what to do next. Presumably she can then get a summer job and save; live somewhere cheaper; get a loan or live on less money each month.

We only pay £10500 per year for an ensuite room on Campus for DD.
That IS catered but we pay it all and she has the minimum loan for everything else.
I think your DD can find something cheaper but still safe in Manchester if you need her to.

If you can’t afford it then she’s going to have to go for a cheaper option. Up to you if you want to put your foot down or not.

Well I found Hulme Hall in Oxford place which is a 29 min walk. To me 29 mins is fine. 🤷‍♀️. I have no idea what the buses are like or how safe the buses are.

She lived at home for her first degree so guess we got away with that.

I think you say you can’t afford it and she needs to live in the further halls. Her accusing you of making her a rape target is a bit of a stretch. She needs to understand lots of girls live in halls not next to lectures. I lived an hour from my uni in a house share in London (10 years ago). She’s being a bit precious and for my daughter I wouldn’t be pandering to it. If she wants to spend more she needs to get a job

If you can’t afford it you can’t afford it. Her ridiculous “if you don’t pay for this you are putting me at risk of being raped” is emotional blackmail.

She’s doing a masters, so she’s at least early 20s. There’s a limit to how much studying someone can do if they’re insisting someone else funds it, and she’s old enough to understand that.

Victoria point accommodation in Hathersage rd is also cheaper for anyone who knows Manchester and can comment regarding safety?

You don’t have to option to grow a money tree.
she does have the option not stay out late at night.

she is an adult, and it’s kind and generous that you are offering to help with her accommodation costs while she studies, but it’s normal that that has a limit.

if she’s going nuts and accusing you of such terrible things she sounds very spoiled. She needs to learn some financial lessons and quick. Once she graduates and can’t afford to live in the poshest area of town are you going to buy her the most expensive house, or will she need to live within her means like the rest of us do?
better she learns this now when you can support and contribute something than get a shock in a couple of years

Tbf my boyfriend at the time got mugged twice beaten up for no reason and his friend the same outside main student halls so yes it is unsafe tbh. This was in the late 90s.

Wow! She is saying she might be raped if you don't pay out for very expensive accommodation. What a horrible thing to say to you

OP, your daughter sounds very immature/entitled and is using emotional blackmail on you to get her own way.
Either she needs to get a part time job to part fund the very expensive accommodation that she expects you to fund or she finds something cheaper.

It sounds like she is emotionally blackmailing you for an easy life. Now is a teaching moment

e.g.

"terrified of walking at night" = stick to a self imposed curfew or use a cab
"won’t consider a house share" = unreasonable for someone with NO income. work out how SHE affords more expensive halls to top up the difference from the ones you can afford
"won’t consider cheaper halls a bit further out" = work out how SHE affords more expensive halls than you are prepared to pay for

all of the above not acceptable to her = forget being a student and get to work

You'll be bailing out her expensive tastes for life if you dont. If she has an illness that limits her means, then its all the more important that she adjusts her expectations, unfortunately

Can't she defer for a year and save up from work?
Tbf that's what our youngest will do ( year 12 now). I think it helps them focus on when they are spending some of their own money. She will qualify for minimum loan but is already weighing up affordability. Tbf she is after primary teaching so the "prestige" of the uni not an issue.

Sounds like she can’t afford any aspect of it but has visions of living the high life. I don’t think she should be going if she has no way to help fund it.

Fibromyalgia is a poor excuse and she’s coming across as a brat.

My DD did 3 years in Manchester and finished last year. She stayed in Manchester Court Halls 5 mins from Victoria Station first year at £130 a week and then shared a beautiful flat with one other girl for £700 a month for 2 years. The bedroom had an en suite bathroom and concierge 24 hours just opposite Oxford Road train station. There are cheaper options around if you look for them.

I'm dreading this when DS is older. When I went my student loan didn't even cover my accommodation costs so I had to work. I had more or less a full time job alongside uni and still partied hard....I'm not sure I slept in the whole 3 years...

While it's shit she can't have what she wants, it's tough luck. You can't afford it. She can't afford it. What does she suggest you do?

It sounds like your DD needs to grow up!

She's an adult woman. She can get a job or don't stay out late or find friends to walk back with or get a taxi.

Tell her what her monthly allowance will be and let her work out her budget. You're not doing her any favours by allowing her to be a ickle baby at 21+ years old.

Obviously, if your DD is in fact a child prodigy and is only 12 then I retract these comments and you should pay for her to be on campus.

If she is doing a masters surely it is up to her to fund it?

the government give loans now for living expenses during masters and she can also get commercial loans from a bank.

why is she expecting you to fund her?

if you do want to support her tell her how much you’ll be giving and let her make the decision about where to live.

(we did this with ours for undergrad)

Thanks, do you know where they found the second year flat from? Was it a specific company?

I went to Manchester uni and had a look at it for my dc who ended up elsewhere. If postgrads can apply to Hulme hall than that is a good option as it is one of the closes to the uni and the catered halls at Manchester are far better value. Although I’m surprised your dd picked Manchester as it sounds as though she would be better off at an out of town campus uni than being in the middle of a city if she worries about personal safety.