Talking down Oxbridge after getting rejected

[Dddsfea]

Does anyone know anyone else that does this? I know a parent who tries to talk down Oxford and Cambridge after her DC didn't get in.

Saying the students there aren't that better than anyone else and that they only worked hard in 6th form. And that they study less at university compared to those at other unis.

Where I work (high flying scientists well known employer) out of about hundred graduates not one Oxbridge - fair few UCL though

Scientists who studied at non-oxbridge unis are still bright scientists

There are fantastic summer internships at Oxbridge within the universities' own STEM labs. No need to go to an external employer.

52 weeks with an employer working with a whole range of people is extremely useful - soft skills are important at year 3 of the degree.

This person is quite "traditional". Their DC has friends at Oxbridge. This person was unimpressed that their children's friend at Oxbridge "spend too much time drinking beer and chasing after guys".

Likely the friend would have indulged in those behaviours at least as much elsewhere, surely? The Cambridge students I’ve known seem to have a good, pretty sensible work-life balance, some very good and disciplined about time management.

Oxbridge students have no problem at all finding full time paid jobs when they graduate after 3 years - no need to add in a 3rd year in industry to secure a great job when you have an Oxbridge STEM degree and an Oxbridge summer internship.

DD had paid summer work in her tutor’s lab. This is very common for Oxford STEM undergrads. (She got a job as a scientist for a subsidiary of the UN when she graduated so not held back by not having a year in industry).
DS did summer banking internships and went straight into a grad finance job. Neither were held back by not having a year in industry as part of their course.

Dd was gutted when she got rejected by Cambridge so I did tell her where she has got into is above Cambridge in the QS rankings for her subject. So I suppose I talked it down but only factually. 😁. I wouldn’t have said anything insulting.

That’s positively, accurately and appropriately talking her course up - very different thing!

Indeed, one of our DC was rejected by Cambridge but is on a course ranked very much higher (for good reason - we know plenty of people on both courses and the Cambridge course has far less choice of module and is much, much smaller).

Why are people so quick to label a whole group of people based on their own limited and anecdotal experience?
Students across universities vary enormously in their backgrounds, personalities etc.
I don’t expect that my interactions with Oxbridge students/grads typify this group and am aware that my interactions may be affected by own set of values, preconceptions, prejudices.

"And that they study less at university compared to those at other unis". Mine studied solidly for 4 weeks during Easter break and still says they won't have time to cover everything for the collections at the end of the week. There is so much content to learn, this is endless. Despite the workload they're having a great time at Ox and couldn't wait to be back!

I forgot to add - after reading so much scaremongering on this forum I was really scared Oxford made an error by giving them an offer, as only geniuses can cope, that they wouldn't be able to keep up with the workload and would get depressed/drop out. Yes the workload is very heavy but for DC who have been used to working hard throughout their secondary school, this is totally manageable (at least it has been so far).

Absolutely not for geniuses only. If the style of teaching suits you, and you’re able to manage your own workload, and write to frequent deadlines, it’s totally manageable.

I feel my friend (who has quite traditional views) looked down upon seeing Oxbridge students doing recreational drugs, and "chasing after boys".

I feel they had the vision/idea that Oxbridge is supposed to be a beacon for education and studying.

I know them and they think that the main priority of university is the degree itself and not the social aspect.

Exactly what has been my DC’s experience so far but listening to some people in real life or reading Oxbridge threads on this forum got me genuinely worried initially.

They also didn’t sacrifice their social life and still have time to go out a couple of nights a week and have fun despite doing a notoriously workload heavy stem subject. Their approach has been to maximise revisions during holidays so they have more time to enjoy life in Oxford which sounds quite sensible (although this term might be more work less fun in the balance due to the June exams!).

we are used to pumping out paragraphs of complete bollocks at very short notice and have been trained in defending our opinion.

Had to re-read your post there to check you weren't my daughter, who says much the same!

(If you care about anonymity, you might want to ask MN to edit a few details out of your post, as it probably narrows you down to one of about three or four people.)

Thanks - I will try to make this more anonymous!

I’m currently reading a detective novel from 1942 in which a character is described as “one of those men whose careers start with scintillating brilliancy at school and college, and then when they come up against the rough and tumble of life, peter out into mediocrity. Usually such persons have intellect but not character”.

Sorry, that was meant for the can’t get a job thread,,,

This! If you're trying to cheer someone up for not getting in, it's better to remind them of all that extra workload which they won't have at their redbrick!

I do think it's entirely true to say that Oxbridge students aren't necessarily better than those at other good universities.

I don't think it's true to suggest that they do less work... quite the contrary, in fact. Oxbridge terms are short but very intense, and the workload is pretty intense too.

Does it really matter if people choose to talk Oxbridge down if their kids don't get in? I'm not sure that it does anyone any harm.

That's all part of the "work hard, play hard" ethos. Didn't appeal to me either, I need my down time!