Talking down Oxbridge after getting rejected

[Dddsfea]

Does anyone know anyone else that does this? I know a parent who tries to talk down Oxford and Cambridge after her DC didn't get in.

Saying the students there aren't that better than anyone else and that they only worked hard in 6th form. And that they study less at university compared to those at other unis.

@TizerorFizz - that is true. However, interpretation is in the ear of the listener. Your competitive attempts to “virtue signal” or make another person feel “not good enough” are another person’s nostalgic memories of happy times gone by. There isn’t a single topic of conversation that can be had that can’t be misinterpreted in its intent by others. Even commenting on the weather isn’t entirely safe ground, but to have a conversation at all, you have to bang on about something. People make judgements of others based on their own preconceived prejudices.

Having been myself, there is some truth to the stereotypes especially in certain colleges.

Is it an achievement to get in? Of course! Are there downsides? Of course! Are there other great universities? Absolutely.
I don’t think it’s necessarily bad to point out to a disappointed teen that there will be positives to going elsewhere. Try not to take the comments so personally.

People whose kids don’t go to / or haven’t gone to University talk down the entire institution.
Nothing new in this.

It’s only a problem if parents project that negativity on younger generations

The entry process and demographics for those who are now 70ish was significantly different to the current day, of course.

Talking up the positives of the alternatives, both before and after they do or don’t get an offer from their top uni choice, is a good idea.
That’s a world away from being negative about that uni if they don't get an offer, in particular if the sour grapes are inaccurate.

@ErrolTheDragon. Yes of course. Which makes it even less noteworthy. Pass the entrance exam in term 7 and off you go. That’s why no one went from my grammar. Yet more time at school. Not sure when it changed.

The 7th term was dropped in 1987. Friends of mine did it as I was in that year and then it changed.

But the person who downplayed Oxford to you was responding to you telling her your DS did not get in to Oxford

they were just trying to make you feel better or fill awkward silence
I can’t believe this has been missed by so many poster

'"My social circles are the U3A"

Just came on to ask what this is @TizerorFizz . Or did you mean USA?

This is a weird thread because people 'talk down' all manner of things they didn't get into - in all snd any walk of life. It's human nature to a point. Didn't get a certain job - "Oh they're a crap company anyway." Or whatever. If someone didn't get into any uni, they might be inclined to 'talk it down.' Why the focus on Oxbridge specifically?

@spaceisfree. Do you have the internet? You could look it up - learning activities for retired people (mostly).

Oxbridge? Because it’s the pinacle of achievement and obviously cannot be rubbished after dc didn’t get in. The dc actually wanted to go there so before rejection it was the best. Now it’s not.

Maybe that's just the people you know though?
Lots of sour grapes on the 'reject threads' (what an awful name) disguised as relief.

Damn, I misread this I came on here to talk Cambridge University down. I'm from Cambridge -Town not gown always happy to slag them off!
I did hear Mary Beard say once that people asked her what it was like moving from teaching at King's London back to teaching at Cambridge, she said the students were exactly the same which I thought likely. Cambridge students are too stupid to get out of the road when a bus is coming.
A classmate of mine at sixth form told me about a traffic incident involving her sister and a member of the Royal family, police had to intervene, thrillingly armed police, this was in the 1980s. He was too stupid to get out of the road.

The person was talking about their own DC and saying how well they are doing at their non-Oxbridge university. I know their DC and they are very bright and capable.

I mentioned my own experience with my DS as a comparison. I even encouraged him to apply there for his postgraduate studies but he was happy where he was and stayed on at the same institution he did his UG at.

"Oxbridge? Because it’s the pinacle of achievement and obviously cannot be rubbished after dc didn’t get in. The dc actually wanted to go there so before rejection it was the best. Now it’s not."

For someone else (most people in fact) the 'pinnacle of achievement' might be another uni. Or job opportunity. And they'd be equally pissed off if they didn't get in. It's all relative.

You read it on here all the time. DC doesn't get into Durham - "oh it's all poshos anyway." Or St Andrew's - "oh it's practically the Arctic."

Hyperbole is one way to describe these people's, assholes is another

A close friend, also weirdly competitive around kids, after 20+ years of friendship (pre children) completely cut us off, when none of her kids got into Grammar. You realise you are best off without those people. They suck the joy out of life and you find YOU end up compromising your kids successes by not even mentioning them when we really should. Nothing wrong with the occasional humble brag.

Fascinating about the snobbery among students in London, @lifeturnsonadime- any way you could share more? Which of the universities are the trendy ones?

I assume LSE, KCL, UCL, Imperial

In London, LSE, Imperial and the Courtauld are chic because they are specialist universities that prepare students for a particular world of work. UCL is generally considered more academic than KCL though not for Law or Medicine or niche subjects like War Studies. There's quite a lot of dross at both KCL and UCL to be honest.

All the other London universities are in a much lower league. SOAS, Goldsmiths and Royal Holloway are all second rate.

I am reminded of Yes Minister here and the quote, “He didn’t even go to the LSE.” 🤣

Those would be my assumptions too, but I was curious if there were any different views among current students.

The QS Global ranking has 4 U.K. unis in the top 10, which is very good considering the size of the country. These are Cambridge, Oxford, Imperial and UCL. LSE is about 50th for some reason.

London also has Central St Martins and Chelsea College Art (both UAL). RADA. Royal College of Music. All of these would be top choices for art/ fashion, drama or music.

UCL is significantly better regarded by lawyers and medics than KCL is.