Don't know how I feel about DS going to Uni

[FunnysInLaJardin]

I am obviously very proud, but veer between being so very sad and so very happy for him.

I feel such mixed emotions to the extent that I dont know how I actually feel.

All the emotions are mixed up!

Anyone else?

It's a step-change, and amazing how quickly everyone just adjusts to this new life. WhatsApp is a big help too. But just wait until one of your children decides to move to Australia . . .

This would be my worst fear, TBH. However, I know I definitely curbed my choice of places to live because I felt obligated to my parents. My in-laws travelled all round the world with my father-in-law‘s work, so would’ve been quite understanding but DH always felt the need to be near to them as they got elderly too, we probably turned down some quite lucrative work in order to be on hand, I really don’t want that to be the case for any of my DC so I as much as it might be a sad situation for me personally, I’d be delighted that they are happy to have an entirely different life on a different continent. Obviously, I would feel utterly bereft, but I’d be sad that any of the DC curb their ambition in order to fulfil a role in our lives that we probably don’t really need.

I will miss her loads, we've always been close, but I think DH will be worse. He keeps on (to me, not to her) about how much he's dreading her leaving. I have to reassure him continually that she will be fine. He suffers from anxiety and OCD so I think that's a lot to do with it - because she won't be under our eye any more (not that she is now very much, anyway!).

This is exactly my situation with DD. Now that I know that she's leaving in a little over three weeks I feel like she's slipping away from me. She's veering between excitement and irritation (which is how she gets when she's nervous). I had the realisation yesterday that her childhood is gone and she's now a young adult about to go on to the next step in her life, but without me (selfish I know). I feel proud of her and utterly bereft for me.

DS has been on a gap year. He had surgery last Nov for a sporting injury that needed doing before he left home since his arm was immobilised for 2 months followed by physio. He then started work for a friend’s dad and spends a lot of time away from home during the week. So we have become used to him not being around.

However, the dog has taken to ignoring him when he gets home, she has always slept on his bed and is totally put out by his absence. So much so that when he came back from a weekend at a festival she walked straight past him to make a fuss of his friends. I was worried that she would really miss him but she has now adopted DH as her second best human. I will always be her first best human😁

quite a few people have mentioned about the realisation that their childhood had ended.

I really felt that over the summer, that it had finished and found myself almost grieving for my little boy, even though he is nearly 19 now!

I never thought I would feel like this and I'm a bit surprised at myself. DD is my last and perhaps it's that, I don't know. I want her to fly and do her own thing. Except I want her to stay with me forever. 😂 X

I’d be delighted that they are happy to have an entirely different life on a different continent.

I'd be bloody devastated and I think mine would be a perfectly natural reaction.

My DD (19) started last year and I felt sad for the first week and then suddenly the cloud lifted. She was settling in and I realized that this was a natural progression, she was going out in the world and making the most of it.

The weirdest part was feeling shy around her at first when she came home for Christmas. We’d seen her once during the term, but she seemed so different in December, far more mature with lots of new interests-I didn’t feel like I knew her anymore!

I have very mixed emotions about my oldest DS going too.

He's always been the loud one, the one who broke us in as parents...the one we've been focusing on, so we will all desperately miss the constant chatting and piano practice.

But at the same time, I never want to stop him from flying...my mother always suffocated me with affection, and made us feel terrible about leaving, and I don't ever want to do that with my kids.

That's pretty much how I feel too!

She's young to be going, still 17, so that adds a little bit (not much) to the anxiety.

Dropped off yesterday. Held it together until the last moment and then crumbled. So proud of them, but after a sleepless night (me) I feel so sad now. Due to the nature of the course they're pretty much living alone for a week until halls fill up and I know they're lonely at the moment. Gosh, this is so hard.

So any tips on holding it together when saying good bye? Very proud snd excited but it will be emotional. Second time for us snd hoping it will be easier! But could really do with holding it together on the day!

Well, my baby girl is off tomorrow and my feelings are very mixed! I'm happy and excited for her, a bit anxious about how she'll cope (though I'm sure she'll be fine), and also a bit sad about how much I'll miss her (though she's been horrible lately, mainly due to being nervous!).

Good luck to all new freshers and parents xx

Hope all goes well @MelodyMalone . We have a week to go (she goes next Friday). We're spending the next week watching our favourite films and chilling (when I get home from work). I thought being a parent was supposed to be easier when they get older? 🙂

My eldest grandchild set off yesterday for university thousands of miles from home though my daughter has travelled with her to settle her in and open bank accounts and do other life stuff.

The last few days were emotional but she knows her mum/me/her aunty are only at the other end of a text message or phone call and she can contact us any time night or day. In fact I felt like a member of a very important/powerful? group when we stood together and told her we have your back - don’t ever forget it.

How will life be without her whilst she’s away at Uni? I think we’ll just take it as it come but right now my thoughts and feelings are all mixed up.

DS (my eldest) is off in 8 days. I’m thrilled for him because it’s a cracking course, he’s chuffed to bits. It’s the kind of course with lots of trips, opportunities for travel on projects through the holidays, so I don’t know if he’ll be back for Christmas. I will miss him, but I know he’ll be happy and that’s what’s important. He knows there will always be space for him here when it suits his plans 😄

I've got another year to go, but dreading it already as DD is planning on the military, so we don't even have long holidays to look forward to. I am so very proud though that she feels able to do that. When I'm having a wobble, I think of my parents who waved my brother and I off within a month of eachother without letting us know how upset they were. Me to the other side of the world and my brother to uni 2,000 kms away.

Thanks for sharing all of your experiences - even though I know I'm not the only one, it's good to feel validated.

Bonne chance to you all your young people starting a new adventure.

All of my children studied thousands of miles away from home as will my grandchildren. In many ways the distance doesn’t matter because it’s them not being at home that’s hard regardless of where they are.

I feel exactly the same as you. My youngest DD off next Saturday. She has just got back home from a night out with 'the girls'. She said it was very emotional as they were aware it was the last night out together for a while as they are all off to separate uni's over the next week. I also feel excited for her, but anxious for her too. Its her first time away from home like this and I know she will have a few days of feeling a little nervous/anxious/homesick while she finds her feet and settles in. And I will miss her SO much. It will be weird not seeing her everyday and knowing what she is doing. I keep telling myself that it will not be long before she is home for the Christmas holidays and it will give me something to focus on and look forward to.
Good luck everyone who has one venturing off into the World by themselves over the next week or so. We (and they) have got this!!

Mine goes next weekend and I dropped DD back last week. So as of next Sunday I will have an empty house. I am really excited for him but it is going to be strangely quiet without him. He's a lovely lad and has been a pleasure to have around 🥺

I will be an empty nester from next weekend too. It will be so strange not having my youngest DD around on a day to day basis any longer. I just love having her home and love her company so it will be really weird not being in her everyday life anymore and not seeing her each day. It will take some getting used to.
Funny really, I have dreaded being an empty nester for years now and the moment is almost upon me 😩

Yes, one week to go here too with DD2.

I took DD1 back 3 weeks ago up to Edinburgh - going into 2nd year so everyone is back up there early.

I was ok last year but feeling very up and down this year.

One week left for us with my eldest. She's started being horrible again, she always is when she's anxious so it's likely to be a trying week. Also trying to deal with dd2 who has realised (2 days in!) she hates her sixth form and wants to change asap.
and busiest time of my work year too!

Excited and thrilled for her but there will be a DD shaped hole in our house. I think DS15 will feel it a lot more than he thinks too.
She is only 2 hours away and her lovely BF is going to the same Uni (been LD up until now) so she will be fine and her course is studying something she has had a passion for for many years.
She has had a gap year so we have been incredibly lucky to have her at home for longer. We were talking about something we plan to do the day after we drop her off and she said "you can't do that without me" and I replied that we would be doing stuff without her and then we both cried.