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Original poster

They settle in and we miss them. Uni Starters 2023 - Thread 2

886 replies

spamm · 16/10/2023 02:25

I wanted to get a news thread ready for everyone as you wake up in the Uk.

We are settling into a routine of talking to DS on FaceTime on Sunday mornings after our breakfast, which is early pm his time. It is so nice to see his smile and catch up on how he is doing. I know at some point he will have a bad day, but so far he seems to be doing so well, I am ridiculously proud.

Hope you all have a good week!

OP posts:
Sinutab · 19/11/2023 13:40

Tabbytabs · 19/11/2023 13:27

I would disown my dd if she wore crocs 😂 I don’t understand them (outside of health professionals and gardening). They are so goddam ugly!

Dd owns about 10 pairs of dms and a whole pharmacy worth of silicone foot plasters! It took almost a year to break in her Jadons and even now she still has to wear plasters and two pairs of socks.

I am ashamed to say my daughter has two pairs of Crocs 😳 One of them with a furry lining too 😱🤮

Tabbytabs · 19/11/2023 14:13

They will be one of those fashion fails that people will look back on in 10 years and go “What were we thinking?”

ZittiEBuoni · 19/11/2023 16:17

I can't believe crocs are still a thing, I'm sure I've been moaning about them for upwards of a decade now. We are a proudly croc-free household Grin.

MargaretThursday · 19/11/2023 16:35

DD has crocs for uni. She finds them good going to ballet (at 8am I think!) because she can put her ballet shoes on, then her crocs over the top and not have to change when she gets there.

Tabbytabs · 19/11/2023 17:04

Oh ffs, dd has just messaged. There was a group of 5 of them looking for a house. 3 other girls and a boy. 2 of the girls have just messaged her and said they don’t want to live with the boy, so now she is stuck in the middle because she introduced the boy into the group. She is going to have to break it to him somehow. I mean how does she do that? She will stick with him, but it means there is only 2 of them. I don’t even know what to suggest to her. I don’t know if she’s upset or pissed off!

LucyTeatime · 19/11/2023 17:14

She is going to have to break it to him somehow. I mean how does she do that

Tell him the 2 girls have flaked out. No need to hurt his feelings.

Unless she'd rather share with the girls in which case she should do so as the boy might bail on her.

It's a cut throat business, this house hunting.

Tabbytabs · 19/11/2023 17:24

It all just seems so hard with fresh friendships and then having to decide who to live with so quickly.

LucyTeatime · 19/11/2023 22:02

I agree @Tabbytabs and competition for student houses around here is fierce.

PettsWoodParadise · 19/11/2023 22:26

I am so grateful DD can stay in halls all three years and isn’t having look for accommodation.

I think amateur drama rehearsals non-stop and jiggling studies for past three weeks have taken their toll on DD, she isn’t too well and it is hard to tell how much is exhaustion or something more serious. She has had nosebleeds several times a day for the last week, no appetite and so she has finally agreed to make a GP appointment. I visited at the weekend to watch the show and stayed overnight in her room (surprising how comfy a blow up bed is!), her fridge is now filled with her dad’s home cooked food full of goodness and hoping it will be a tonic for her. When I left I wanted to sweep her away with me but she had one more night to put on and was determined to honour her commitments. She only has a week and a half more before the last supervision, a ball and then home for six full weeks.

ZittiEBuoni · 20/11/2023 09:40

Hope she is OK @PettsWoodParadise , glad you've persuaded her to see a doctor. She sounds like my DD, who will insist on just powering through regardless.

I've received sound files of DD's choir's evensong last night and I'm sitting here listening to them with tears running down my cheeks. Just beautiful and hearing her lovely voice in the mix is very emotional.

RoyKentFanclub · 20/11/2023 10:23

Yes DS is a keen actor and one of his main deciding factors was the strength of the theatre society at his university but he opted not to join the society this term. He said there was just too much other stuff happening and he wanted to be settled first because he knows how much time it takes up. He's missing it a bit but partying seems to have taken its place nicely so he's also exhausted but for other reasons..

Tabbytabs · 20/11/2023 18:12

Panic over. The boy dd has said she’d live with has found some floaters on his course and they are all going to look at a house tomorrow. Dd is ok, she said tbh she’d rather not live with friends as she is less likely to fall out with them if they live apart. She doesn’t care who she lives with as long as they are reasonably tidy and considerate.

AnneOfCleavage · 20/11/2023 20:15

I can't believe it'll be December next week and our Uni starters will be home for Christmas in less than a month - cannot wait.

DD has paid her deposit on a 6 bed house and we have signed as her J&S guarantor and sent the paperwork off to the next parent in the chain. Hopefully it'll be all signed by Christmas break up!

She's pretty tired but okay but she's a stones throw away from getting whatever bug the children in her school placement classroom are dropping like flies from.

She opened her room for Open day on Saturday and showed prospective parents and students around and answered questions from 8:30am til 4:30pm. She should get her £50 worth of Tesco vouchers end of the week as a thank you all being well.

Sinutab · 20/11/2023 20:31

ZittiEBuoni · 19/11/2023 16:17

I can't believe crocs are still a thing, I'm sure I've been moaning about them for upwards of a decade now. We are a proudly croc-free household Grin.

Well done. I am not sure where we went wrong ☹️

Sinutab · 20/11/2023 20:33

AnneOfCleavage · 20/11/2023 20:15

I can't believe it'll be December next week and our Uni starters will be home for Christmas in less than a month - cannot wait.

DD has paid her deposit on a 6 bed house and we have signed as her J&S guarantor and sent the paperwork off to the next parent in the chain. Hopefully it'll be all signed by Christmas break up!

She's pretty tired but okay but she's a stones throw away from getting whatever bug the children in her school placement classroom are dropping like flies from.

She opened her room for Open day on Saturday and showed prospective parents and students around and answered questions from 8:30am til 4:30pm. She should get her £50 worth of Tesco vouchers end of the week as a thank you all being well.

£50? That’s amazing!

AnneOfCleavage · 20/11/2023 21:10

@Sinutab it is pretty good isn't it. Two of her other flat mates opened theirs the last two open days (one per open day) but they were both quite busy that DD opened her room both days too for free so this £50 is really for 3 open days.

tribpot · 20/11/2023 21:13

I think we're still somewhat debating whether DS did the right thing not jacking it in when he got Covid in week 2. He's been home this weekend and headed back to uni by train this morning. Before he left he said 'I wonder what it would be like to be at uni in <our home town>'.

He's not being stretched academically at all, and there's still no sign of any friendships developing beyond passing acquaintance with his flatmates. The course is so massive there's almost no chance of seeing the same people regularly.

I've started investigating options of transferring into Year 2 somewhere else next year, to be able to present him with options at Christmas. So far I think this has been a very expensive waste of his time.

Lyxou · 21/11/2023 07:35

@tribpot It's easy to see in hindsight that he might have been better off jacking it in earlier, but you absolutely weren't to know that at the time. He might've gone on to really enjoy it and settle in well, and then you'd be thinking "I'm so glad I didn't make him come home"

tribpot · 21/11/2023 07:55

Thanks @Lyxou and it would have seemed very defeatist to abandon it after two weeks. He isn't unhappy there, but he isn't happy either.

Tabbytabs · 21/11/2023 09:32

I know so many people (including myself and my sister) who made wrong uni choices, came home and restarted the next year. It’s so hard when you’re so young to know exactly what to do and where you want to do it.

ZittiEBuoni · 21/11/2023 10:53

Yes, it's almost impossible to predict whether a particular location, course, hall of residence etc is really going to work for a dc when all you see is the 'best face on' of open days and offer holder events.

I know lots of people that moved in their first year, and all were accepted at their most local appropriate uni. Perhaps they were just lucky (it was a while ago too) but hopefully there is enough churn that places become available throughout the academic year. Best of luck to you and your ds @tribpot .

Z0rr0 · 22/11/2023 00:50

A bit OT but those talking about Doc Martens, they're not the same since they got sold off. Just a label now. Those in the know go to Solovair for their DMs. They're the original manufacturers of DMs and use the same techniques. British company.

MirandaWest · 22/11/2023 09:29

It’s DS’s birthday today - as he had a gap year he’s 20. Feels a bit odd as he’s always been here on his birthday before. And he’s not a teenager any more!

tribpot · 22/11/2023 09:54

That's a big milestone in lots of different ways isn't it @MirandaWest ? Happy birthday DS!

Lyxou · 22/11/2023 16:18

My DD is not happy at the moment. She's been up and down since she split from her boyfriend, but then had a very bad day on Friday & ended up in A&E due to feeling so depressed. I went up to be there for her on the Friday and she was much better on the Saturday, but last night and today she seems really miserable again, although it seems to be her course that she's moaning about the most now. She wants to change to engineering, but wants to stay living in York, and is planning to since she's looking for houses with friends.

I think her best bet is to get herself a place for engineering next year, then muddle through this year, and treat it as a foundation year, but she needs to talk to people to find out if that's an option. She's her own worst enemy because she never bothered going to any open days, even though I told her to loads of times.

And I do get the feeling she wants someone to come along and sort everything out for her (take her to the doctors, find out about moving courses), but she needs to sort it all out herself - I don't think I 'd be able to do any of those things for her anyway.