They settle in and we miss them. Uni Starters 2023 - Thread 2

[spamm]

I wanted to get a news thread ready for everyone as you wake up in the Uk.

We are settling into a routine of talking to DS on FaceTime on Sunday mornings after our breakfast, which is early pm his time. It is so nice to see his smile and catch up on how he is doing. I know at some point he will have a bad day, but so far he seems to be doing so well, I am ridiculously proud.

Hope you all have a good week!

I think whether they need to start looking for housing depends where they are. If mine were at Bristol, Durham or st andrews I’d be starting to have a think about it. Fortunately mine is at Lancaster where there is a lot of housing so no rush at all and most don’t even start thinking about it until next term.

Ds is in London and talking about year 2 accommodation.

On the missing lectures front, I know a lot are recorded so maybe lulls them into a false sense that they can just catch it another time. I know my nephew worked out the cost per lecture and never missed any!

On year 2 housing, we are going through that right now with DS in Exeter. The last few days have been a bit emotional, as ds and his prospective housemates have lost out on 3 houses because they did not move fast enough. However they seem to have secured a place today.

Apparently, if you do not get a move on it immediately the year starts, you are behind the curve. He has chosen a small group - 4 people total - as he knew very quickly he did not want to go into a big "rugby group" house with 8-10 people. He does not cope well with lots of noise and needs his own space. I hope I can meet the housemates if I visit later this month, but he is the one who has to live with them.

I'm going to have to bring up the subject of looking for year 2 accommodation when dd comes home this weekend. It's so ridiculous though, I really begrudge having to do this and the intense pressure on rental housing in general.

I just messaged dd and she said that there isn’t any mega rush, no housing shortage in Cardiff. One of her flatmates has already found somewhere and put a deposit down though. The uni has its own agency, so the process seems pretty simple. She’s gonna leave it a bit to get to know people better before jumping in.

Dd says they don't open bids for rentals until after Christmas.
I think that's great, better than dd1 who most people had sorted by now which gave a lot of stress.

I’m glad ds has decided to stay at home for uni. So much less stress!

DD is in Sheffield, we had a conversation about next year today, I think she can keep her halls on but I think she wants to move into a house/flat with 2 of her flatmates that are similar to her personality wise. They make dinner and watch tv together if they’ve no other plans. Yorkshire tea and biscuits at the ready.

My DD is at Bristol so I think it is an issue for her to get cracking on. Apparently they had a talk about it. But a friend has a DD at York and apparently the register for Y2 or something opened this week so it does seem to be cropping up for quite a few places. It's mad when they've only just started Y1.

That's a good idea to cost the lectures. I might suggest she does that. She does say about them being recorded but I don't know if she does go back and watch them and it just feels like a bad precedent to set. Most of the issue is she's going to bed so late, like 2am every day so can't get up for early lectures. It's not like she's doing anything just doomscrolling on her phone but even when she was really ill she seemed unable to break the habit. I'm just hoping she will gradually sort herself out and get on top of it. Maybe some dodgy test results will kick her into action.

@Yoloohno I don't think there's a massive rush with Sheffield but dd has viewed a couple but mainly because there are six of them and I think six bed houses are less common.
I just admit the two she's seen (in broomhill) have been a pleasant surprise!

@Z0rr0 My DD doesn't miss any lectures, but she says 1 lad in her house has only been to 1 lecture! I think most people do go to lectures though.

My DD has started sorting accommodation for next year - she's got herself in a group anyway, but I don't think they've started looking for houses yet. It is ridiculously early though, a lot of them will massively fall out.

My son was at Bristol and was one of the last to sort housing out. It took him and his friends till Jan. It was not for want of trying though. They started in Nov.

Apparently landlords prefer STEM over humanities (out of the property more) and girls/mixed over boys.

My son said his group was one of the few housing groups who hadn’t fallen out by June..

@Z0rr0 DD says that despite lectures being recorded she still attends in person incase something is said before or after. She’s said the lectures aren’t interactive but she’d still prefer to attend. I think the seminars are more interactive.
DDs also found a group she’d like to share with (4 girls, maybe 1 boy) The agents are releasing the bigger houses now so they are getting a bit concerned esp as ALL the houses currently advertised are over budget.
Does STEM include medics @sinutab or have they got bad reputations?

landlords still like medics despite the reputation. ‘Student doctor’ still has some responsible cachet!

Ds has been to all of his lectures but says lots don’t. He says it’s difficult to make friends with people on the course. Lectures are obviously not a place for chatting and seminars are very interactive but from an academic perspective. So he knows the names of people in his seminars but there is little opportunity to get to know people socially. He’s lucky in that his flat mates all get on and socialise in a big group and he also engages well in a society which has a regular weekly social but says he can see how people could feel isolated if they didn’t get on with their flat mates.

Looks like I should be able to visit DS in 10 days, for the weekend. I have work commitments in London and then will jump into a hire car and speed to Exeter to spend some time with him. I am trying to not get too excited, just in case it does not work out.

He shaved his head today for Movember and sent us a pic in the family chat and he looks so cute. It's been so long since I have seen him without a beard, mustache and long hair.

Fingers crossed the logistics work out for you @spamm .

DD headed back this morning after a weekend at home. She admitted that she is still really cut up about the break-up with the boyfriend back in July, and it's making her view everything as a distraction rather than a pleasurable activity in itself. She's trying so hard though.

@spamm I had a dream last night that dd shaved her head. I was furious and woke up shouting! Not really sure why dream me was so cross.

She is home. Well I say home, but I’ve hardly seen her. Her best friend has the same reading week, so he is home too and they’ve been to a gig every night. She went for dinner with my mum earlier and went straight out without coming home. Oh well, I’m sure I’ll hear her at 2am when she falls in the door 🙄

@ZittiEBuoni Oh your poor DD. Hopefully by Xmas she'll be feeling a lot better about the break-up.

My DD seems to be handling her break-up better than I expected (better than I handled my first break-up anyway). She mainly seems to get down about it in the evenings when she's tired.

Ooh do hope you make it to Exeter @spamm

Hugs to DC with recent break ups. It’s so tough for them. None have mine have had a relationship yet. So I have that all to come.

Talking about lecture non-attendance etc DD mentioned that they have to enter a code (on lecture theatre door, I’m guessing) for each lecture. Uni says they don’t ‘monitor’ attendance but I’m wondering if this is so that they can perhaps check on a student who hasn’t been seen for several weeks. Problem is they all share the codes on their what’s app group. The numbers on the courses are too huge for anyone to know anyone and notice ppl constantly missing.

Can’t believe they have to find houses so early. DD has found a great house tonight with her new friends in Cardiff after spending all week looking at some horrors!

Snap! DD is also in Cardiff and signed today! Though she's actually home on reading week so her housemates saw it, but she's seen the details and it looks good. Crazy they need to worry about it already.

Dd is in Cardiff and not even thought about it yet! She’s worried about signing up to live with people she barely knows. I know she needs to crack on, but I understand why she has concerns. She’s actually thinking about private halls because it just seems easier.

@NotDonna at DS' uni they've copped on to the problem of code sharing and now you have to scan in in person (basically I think tap your student card on a card reader being held by a member of staff).

Equally when DS missed a couple of lectures due to COVID and reported the absence as such his reason was rejected. Still haven't got to the bottom of that.

How weird to reject an illness!