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They settle in and we miss them. Uni Starters 2023 - Thread 2

886 replies

spamm · 16/10/2023 02:25

I wanted to get a news thread ready for everyone as you wake up in the Uk.

We are settling into a routine of talking to DS on FaceTime on Sunday mornings after our breakfast, which is early pm his time. It is so nice to see his smile and catch up on how he is doing. I know at some point he will have a bad day, but so far he seems to be doing so well, I am ridiculously proud.

Hope you all have a good week!

OP posts:
MirandaWest · 21/10/2023 21:40

Thank you for the kind thoughts for DS. He’s still in hospital but at least only a few miles from here. Today he had visitors all 6 hours of visiting; his dad and stepmum, his girlfriend, his friends from his band and then me. And he spoke to the consultant for his condition and should be getting a new medicine given by infusion on either Monday or Tuesday hopefully. He was in better spirits today then yesterday when he was rather low.

hadrianswallsycamore · 21/10/2023 23:10

Can I join? My DD started uni at the start of September. She is studying dance 3 hours away and we have FaceTimed and called a lot but she came home for the first time yesterday. I do needed to hug my girl so it was amazing to see her. She has mainly been out with mates since but just having some hugs and hearing she is enjoying it all is great. She has definitely lost weight so I'm looking forward to feeding her up a little this week. She has a great house mate and has made some friends but also has had an awful night where she was spiked in a club and got sexually assaulted.

ZittiEBuoni · 22/10/2023 09:44

Oh no, @hadrianswallsycamore , how awful for your dd and you. Is that perhaps behind some of the weight loss? Or just intensive training?

Good to hear that your son is doing better @MirandaWest , fingers crossed for the new meds.

I'm off to Bristol with the emergency laptop! Cannot wait to give my girl a good long squeeze.

NotDonna · 22/10/2023 11:36

What did the ‘rugby freshers’ actually do?

pleased to hear your DS is on the mend @MirandaWest

So sorry to hear about your DD @hadrianswallsycamore both spiking and assaulted is simply outrageous. Hope she’s ok! That’s very hard for you too especially when you’re a distance away.

lastdayatschool · 22/10/2023 15:11

No mention in any of those 'blue shirts and chinos' reports of the incident being attributable to the rugby club.

From my experiences, albeit it 30 years ago, the mens hockey club were far worse behaved than the rugby club

stilldumdedumming · 22/10/2023 15:49

Also the reports seem to say there was some pushing in the queue. Which could be reckless and dangerous but doesn't sound completely alarming as it's reported. (I am assuming the actual incident has been watered down in the reporting). At our local uni some students were shocked that they were expelled for setting off fireworks in the courtyard areas a few years ago.

ZittiEBuoni · 22/10/2023 18:22

Yes, when I mentioned 'rugby freshers' upthread I was simply quoting what the article said. No judgement of rugby players in general - my brother played for many years and one of dd's favourite new friends is a Welsh lad who plays in the uni rugby team.

Just back from seeing her, it was so good! She looks well and happy (but her bedroom could do with a hoover round...) I'm back again on Friday for a bit longer.

Tabbytabs · 22/10/2023 18:42

I think the trouble is when you get a group of lads together they all try to outlad each other and it all gets out of hand. Even the nicest boys can get carried away. One of dd’s flatmates is a rugby player, doesn’t really know anything about it and wasn’t involved. Probably just a few twats ruining it for the rest of them.

hadrianswallsycamore · 22/10/2023 21:15

@ZittiEBuoni I think the weight loss is a mix of intense training and being lazy about cooking although she told me today she has gone off carrots as she has eaten 3 bags of them in the last few weeks. Carrots and humous seems to be an easy tea!

catrescuelady · 22/10/2023 21:41

I am so annoyed with myself. DS has been home for the weekend. This is his second visit in 6 weeks. He's gone back this afternoon AND I still got upset and feel empty. Please send me kicks up the arse Confused

NotDonna · 23/10/2023 00:07

@catrescuelady awww you’re allowed to miss him!!

RoyKentFanclub · 23/10/2023 06:52

At least you had a visit. We had hoped to pop and see ds next weekend having not seen him since he started but apparently there’s too much fun stuff going on!

troppibambini6 · 23/10/2023 21:05

Just got back from visiting a heartbroken dd. Her boyfriend told her he wants a break last night she's devastated. Things had been difficult as they are different cities and she knows it's probably the right thing but it doesn't stop it really hurting.
I managed to hold it together on the walk back to the car but cried my eyes out when I got in.
It's just so hard to see her so upset.
He was her first boyfriend and they've been together for a year. I remember how horrible that first break up is.

Lyxou · 24/10/2023 07:26

@troppibambini6 Oh, my first break up was horrific,even though it was the right thing. I think my DD will probably split up with her boyfriend, which would also probably be the right thing, but I'm dreading the pain she's got to go through. It made me a much stronger person though.

They have to go through so much at this age, it's so hard.

RoyKentFanclub · 24/10/2023 07:46

It’s really really tough. If it’s any consolation (for you not her) relationships from home will mostly start to fall apart as the first year progresses so in a way it’s better that it’s happened quite early on.

stilldumdedumming · 24/10/2023 07:46

Yes! It's called heartbreak for a reason. Your poor dd.

When my dd went to uni last year, a girl in her flat had moved in quite early, had the flat to herself and her boyfriend there with her. He dumped her the night before everyone else arrived! She was in pieces meeting all these new people.

ZittiEBuoni · 24/10/2023 09:33

Oh, poor dd @troppibambini6 , it's never easy whenever it happens.

Must admit, I'm kind of glad dd's ex-bf split with her back in July. It was awful at the time but she's over it now. Hope having a lot of distractions at university will help your dd too.

troppibambini6 · 24/10/2023 11:36

Thank you so much... I spoke to her first thing as I knew she would be felling bad. She was sobbing, I told when you first wake up is worst and to get up and in the shower. She got to her lecture and is surrounded herself with people.
We are all going tomorrow (arranged ages ago) to spend the day with her and then she coming back home on Friday.

It's so hard Sad

He's told her he wants a break and they shouldn't see each other til Xmas. He's calling her and texting her all the time because he still wants to stay friends!
He's such a coward he's trying to have his cake and eat it. Dd needs to tell him straight nothing will have changed by Xmas and she needs some space. She knows what she needs to do but whether she does it or not time will tell.

This is like death by 1000 cuts she needs to end it properly but that's easy to say when looking in from the outside.

MTistheDB · 24/10/2023 14:43

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 24/10/2023 15:40

Oh that's really poor

It's easy for us to say what she needs to do, much harder for her to actually do it.

I hope she can put her phone on focus for large sections of the day at least Flowers

NotDonna · 24/10/2023 17:18

Many moons ago a boyfriend told me (in the midst of dating) how boys & men are cowardly and they’ll rarely end a relationship but will cheat, treat badly and/or waiver in the hope the girl will end it. He may have been speaking just for himself of course, but I’ve never forgotten this!

Titsywoo · 24/10/2023 20:46

Sorry for your DD @troppibambini6 - break ups are so hard especially when you are far from home. I hope she can distract herself with her new friends.

DD is doing well 5 weeks in. Working hard on her course and she has finally got herself a parttime job at H&M after applying to about 30 places! Thank god for that as although she has quite a bit saved from summer she has been going through money faster than she thought. They have hired quite a few students so are understanding about them going home in the holidays. She has a job here too at McDonalds where they allow her to just work in the uni breaks.

She is getting increasingly fed up at the laziness of half her flatmates when it comes to keeping the kitchen clean and taking out bins. Her and one other girl are the only ones who seem to do anything - another is ok but is doing nursing so isn't around so much. She has had a word but it doesn't seem to make any difference. It could be a lot worse though!

She is coming home for the first time this weekend as it is my birthday and I have paid for her train fare Grin We've got lots planned - fireworks, cinema, meals out etc.

In general though she is doing great - making a few friends, joined societies, doing nights out etc etc. She seems settled and isn't homesick at all. I'm really pleased for her :)

Tabbytabs · 24/10/2023 21:17

I’m very glad dd didn’t go to uni with a boyfriend! It must be so hard to negotiate that transition, so I feel for anyone who is struggling.

Just booking uni open days for ds. He’s only in year 12, but I want him to see all of his options. He’s not even sure if uni is for him. I’m getting quite distressed at the thought of losing him too! I’ll have to get a puppy and more cats!

NotDonna · 24/10/2023 21:27

@Tabbytabs puppies are like toddlers - beware!!

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