They settle in and we miss them. Uni Starters 2023 - Thread 2

[spamm]

I wanted to get a news thread ready for everyone as you wake up in the Uk.

We are settling into a routine of talking to DS on FaceTime on Sunday mornings after our breakfast, which is early pm his time. It is so nice to see his smile and catch up on how he is doing. I know at some point he will have a bad day, but so far he seems to be doing so well, I am ridiculously proud.

Hope you all have a good week!

At some point I need to go up and see his house - now he’s got a car he took himself up there. Which did at least save me the coming and going 😃

Both dd and ds call me every day. Sometimes more than once! I think it's probably because they don't live with me. Ds hasn't since he was 14 and Dd didn't between 11 and 16 and hasn't since she was 18, though she is now in the next town to me. That was because ex dp and I split and he made them choose. I know! I can't believe we are now friends what utter pointless heartbreak for the children. Anyway, I know it's unusual but it will stop one day. It annoys current dp but I do not care. I look forward to my chats with them. And if they don't ring that day I actually worry!

I've seen the house, he did drive but it was my car so I needed it back

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto 😂

@MargaretThursday oh I had a call from DD about scabies last week! Also fine but flatmate infected so…. ugh!!

It seems absolutely rife doesn't it?

Dd was stressing about scabies earlier in the year, but hasn't mentioned it lately. I'm sure that theme will return to conversation though .

DS is about to arrive home! I've had a lovely evening in the kitchen cooking a lasagna with a glass of wine and some tunes.

Younger DD has bought a dress for her Christmas do today whilst in Manchester for work.

I feel like the time that they still rely on me a little bit is accelerating away!

Oh @SiouxsieSiouxStiletto I recognise that feeling. It's the good bit of when they're getting more independent and it's shifting in a good way. It's a feeling to savour.

I've just checked my phone history. Ds rang 5 times today. That includes me ringing him back and he will ring off when he gets an incoming work call.

Dd rang 4 times.

Ex dp rang once.

I know it's way too much for most people. But this the most unified our fractious family has been for a good while so I'm enjoying while it lasts!

Have a fun weekend with your YP @SiouxsieSiouxStiletto and @MirandaWest.

DD is also loving the fact they have a large-ish lounge to hang out in and a decent sized kitchen as last year it was just a small kitchen in halls. Having only a tiny bedroom it's great she has more space to hang out downstairs and it's more social.

DH and I will speak to or text DD every day so we're in v regular contact. Reading week in 2 weeks but loads of work to do so it won't be much of a rest. At least she'll see her boyfriend and have home cooked meals 😀

Did anyone see any northern lights last night? I didn't but DD did in Bognor so I lived vicariously through her experience 😆

Hope baby grandson is back to full health now @stilldumdedumming

DD is doing tours all tomorrow at her uni open day so this will be some welcome money as she's being quite spend happy with her first term's maintenance loan.

@AnneOfCleavage double conjunctivitis this week - but looks like it's cleared and back at nursery. I'm playing catch up at work because I had the baby for awhile so dd can go to uni. She's absolutely loving it - which is such welcome news. She's doing primary Ed and has discovered she loves teaching maths.

That's fab news your DD is loving her course - not sure I knew she was doing Primary Ed which is the same as my DD. Which Uni is yours at? Does her course include a specialism? DD chose PE but I wondered if yours will choose maths if she's doing a specialism.
Let's hope your GS has had his share of illnesses now as bless him he's been through a lot in his short life.

I honestly don't know about specialisms. She is At Northampton. She started in Liverpool which had much higher entry requirements but hated it. And then the baby came along so she went to live with her dad there.

Thank you @AnneOfCleavage abd I hope that DGS is doing better now @stilldumdedumming.

DS came home last weekend. Spoke to him in the Friday. I was off work and noticed he was at home instead of being at Uni. He just seemed really flat when I spoke to him so persuaded him to come home and relax a bit. He seems a bit better this week but didn't seem to have a good day yesterday, says he just spent the day in bed.

I hope he gets a good recharge @SiouxsieSiouxStiletto and can head back with renewed vigour.

Met up with dd for a concert last week and she seems on great form in general but was miffed that she was penalised on an essay for going over the word count. She hadn't read the rules beforehand (because she said she 'couldn't find them'). Yes, this is her mistake, but I do wish they had more in the way of tutorials with physical, actual one-to-one (or small group) advice rather than having to use the uni's often shaky tech for everything.

Anyway, meeting her again for a lunchtime concert by one of her choirs on Wednesday - will be taking a bag of random tins of food/cleaning products/advent calendars with me.

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto
I spoke to dd on Friday night and she was quite low too. I did remember that I found the start of the second year quite difficult. It wasn't new and exciting, and people I'd known had gone, and there were these new people around getting in the way 😋 which I found quite unsettling.

She is finding living out quite hard. Part of it is that I don't think she had really got her head round the thought of having to walk 10 minutes in rather than rolling out of bed at 7:55 for an 8am class, and she is often in all day so has to take everything with her. Part of it is her anxiety though. She's lead tenant in the house, and also is paying the (two) bills and they pay her back. I suspect her anxiety has also meant she's been overthinking things and doing more than she needs, so she's feeling under pressure.
So she's decided she wants to go back into campus next year (she's disabled so should get a place if she wants)
However the house was meeting on Saturday evening and she was going to explain how she felt, and she felt it went well. She's going to speak to the uni accommodation to get confirmation that she can have the room she wants next year, so hopefully if she can get that sorted, then I think she'll relax, because she'll know it's just this year.

This is probably slightly random but @ZittiEBuoni is your DD at Bristol and if so which choir is she singing with in the lunchtime concert on Wednesday? My DD is in first year at Bristol and I think has a lunchtime concert with a choir she’s in (or more a subset of an amount of choirs as she sings with the St Paul's church choir and the choral scholars of there and other church(es) are doing a concert).

DD also sings with St Paul's choir @MirandaWest , although I think her attendance has been very sporadic so far this term. The concert she's doing on Wednesday is with the Schola Cantorum, which is a women's choir and music students only I think.

@ZittiEBuoni yes he seems a bit better. I think coming home last weekend and having some time away has helped.

The shaky tech really isn't good is it, especially when they're paying so much.

@MargaretThursday I'm so glad that she's had a meeting and feels a bit better. DS has decided to share next year with someone he was in the flat either during his first year and another. I think a smaller house may suit him better. There's 5 of them this year and some of them are a little bit entitled, lovely though but don't really understand why DS doesn't have £200-£300 a week to spend on what he likes.

His is a 4 year course so he's planning on going back to his first year Uni accommodation for the first year. This isn't usually a problem but he does have a disability too if he does need to mention it.

@ZittiEBuoni now that is a coincidence!

DD is doing History and Spanish so not in any of the music department only choirs. DH and I are just back from a weekend in Bristol - came by train from York which is fine but does take a while and gets rather full.

DS (suppose I should mention him as he is the one this thread is about!) has been having reading week and is home at the moment although he is actually out. He’s doing a gig tomorrow night here which I must buy a ticket for. He’s much happier in this house than he was in halls which is good. He is applying to spend a year abroad next year - there are some exchange programmes where you can go to various places and study in English and it doesn’t necessarily count towards your degree so is less of a risk. He’s liking the idea of Scandinavian ones at the moment. So if both DC end up doing 4 year courses it feels they will both be at uni for rather a long time..l

So if both DC end up doing 4 year courses it feels they will both be at uni for rather a long time..l

DS is on a four year course and started it at 19 instead of 18 after having a change of plan. It does feel like he's going to be there a while but the first year did seem to fly by.

Dd says she probably won't sing at St Paul's any more as her friend has co-opted her into the acapella group and operatic society instead @MirandaWest . But they are a lovely choir and I have very fond memories of their advent service last year, truly beautiful. We're a bit closer than York, so not so tricky to nip up every now and again. I hope your dd enjoys the choir as much as my dd did.

Dd is much happier so far this year, living at home and commuting in. She's able to focus on her work, has made friends on her course and is enjoying a full social life with her social group. She rolled in at 05:30 on Sunday.

It's so lovely seeing how happy she is compared to last year.

That's really good news @Downsidesupside . I know that DS would be happier if he could/would do that but 145 miles way it's not really an option! He is doing better this year but this whole experience has really made me rethink assumptions about leaving home to go to uni.