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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

They settle in and we miss them. Uni Starters 2023 - Thread 2

886 replies

spamm · 16/10/2023 02:25

I wanted to get a news thread ready for everyone as you wake up in the Uk.

We are settling into a routine of talking to DS on FaceTime on Sunday mornings after our breakfast, which is early pm his time. It is so nice to see his smile and catch up on how he is doing. I know at some point he will have a bad day, but so far he seems to be doing so well, I am ridiculously proud.

Hope you all have a good week!

OP posts:
Lyxou · 02/12/2023 11:03

@NotDonna She's not got anything concrete sorted about moving to engineering, but everyone she spoke to (supervisor, transition officer) before she came home seemed to think it wouldn't be a problem, but yes, her plan is all dependent on whether the university will let her do what she wants.

PettsWoodParadise · 02/12/2023 11:10

@NotDonna returns mid Jan, so six weeks at home 😊

stilldumdedumming · 02/12/2023 13:09

@NotDonna yes 8 days. Maybe less. And he will be at his dad's (though that's only 30 mins away from me). He's studying in London so as long as he has funds he'd prefer to be there than in his home town. I think most of his uni friends plan to return before new years.

Neversaygoodbye · 02/12/2023 13:43

My DD has had a pretty goof first term. She's enjoying her independence and for her has made definite progress with respect to doing new things and she's had excellent results on her course assessments.
She suffers with social anxiety and her big hurdle is friendships and socialising. She is happy in her own company which is great and has meant she doesn't tend to get lonely but it does mean she doesn't push herself out of her comfort zone to make friends as this is what she finds most difficult. Needless to say we've hit a stumbling block for 2nd year accommodation, she's got one close friend from her flat who said they'd find something together but has now joined another group leaving my DD on her own. She was really upset unsurprisingly and it's knocked her confidence but we're trying to encourage her to be brave and put herself out there to find someone looking for an extra in their group - it's so hard though. I wish there wasn't such a rush on 2nd year accommodation.

MargaretThursday · 02/12/2023 18:40

Dd phoned to ask how to operate the oven. She is catered, so she hasn't starved all term, although I would have expected her to have done it at least once before now
They're meeting a landlord on Monday that she seems quite positive about. There doesn't seem to be the property dash that dd1 had.

NotDonna · 02/12/2023 22:09

DD has looked at a couple of properties. They really liked one but someone else got there first. They’ve viewed another today that they all like. I keep saying not to rush but I think they’re keen to get it out of the way. My eldest (who isn’t a student & in a different city) had a dreadful time securing a house/flat with agencies allowing gazumping - she saw dozens, paid a holding fee then the next day the agent would say they’d been offered more, can you up your rent, they would and it’d bounce about before being given to the other renters. Happened so many times! It took a good 3-4 months. DD (at uni) knows all this happened with her sister so maybe keener to get something secured.

Era · 04/12/2023 06:28

DS found out yesterday that he and his group of friends have secured halls spots again for next year so that’s a relief. Loads available at his university thank goodness but it still doesn’t stop the ridiculous week 5 panic. If only they’d all just hold tight it would naturally revert back to being a summer term decision like in the good old days but now landlords deliberately wind them all up and they’re like lemmings..

Lyxou · 04/12/2023 12:15

My DD has been looking for houses with friends, and I get the impression there's availability, but all the cheap houses have gone, so we're going to be looking at £190 per week instead of about £160 that she's paying now. I've told her not to worry about it, I'd rather she lived somewhere nice , even if it costs a bit more.

ZittiEBuoni · 04/12/2023 16:56

Went to see DD for her choir's advent carols yesterday - she says she's looking forward to coming home. She's not exactly unhappy at university but fed up with the life admin and missing her tight friendship group.

Looking at another house tonight and trying not to panic about it...

ZittiEBuoni · 09/12/2023 11:36

It's gone very quiet on here... How many of us have DC back home now and the fatted calf ready for the table?

Another week for DD (seems late to me) and she's a bit disenchanted and fed up with it at the moment. Reading between the lines, some names that came up a lot earlier in the term haven't been mentioned for a while, so I'm wondering if there's been some kind of bust up? But she's getting good marks and making plans for next term, so it can't all be bad.

Neversaygoodbye · 09/12/2023 14:21

Collected my DD yesterday it's so good to have her home. She's loving Uni and her course but still to firm up a group for next year's accommodation. After a slight wobble we've been reassured by multiple people that it'll work out and so we're now pretty relaxed about it. Looking forward to some female company over the next few weeks.

tribpot · 09/12/2023 14:25

DS' term finishes next Friday but in reality he has no lectures after Tuesday, so I'm off to bring him home then. He has 3 weeks for Xmas and then a 2 week assessment period, during which time he has one (1) exam, which can be done online. So we think he's home for 5 and a half weeks this Christmas. It's great but I'm gonna seriously begrudge this when we're paying for a more expensive flat next year! He's gone for a 'studio flat' (bedsit) for next year, because he was very stressed by the prospect of trying to find people to share with. It's also in a great location so we went for it.

I honestly do think a mature student or one better able to cope with moving around could probably spend less on accommodation by just Air BnBing it for the weeks of the year when they are actually at uni.

Lyxou · 09/12/2023 16:35

@tribpot I didn't realise how costly accommodation would be, all the cheaper ones have gone, so we're looking at 10K. It's made me wonder whether to buy something I can rent out to students! Either that or I need to earn more money. The other thing is that she hasn't actually decided what she wants to do next year - I thought she'd decided to swap to electrical engineering, but she's very unsure, terrified she'll make another mistake and not like that either. She's even wondering if it's sitting in lectures that she doesn't like and she be better off doing a degree apprenticeship.

My DD has been a bit better this week - managed to get through 5 days without sobbing about her boyfriend on the phone to me. She did today though, but definitely not as bad as it has been.

Lowther · 09/12/2023 21:04

DD is home this weekend finishing off an assessment for Monday. Said the flat tends to be noisy over the weekend and plus I think she just wants to be fed. End of term next week, then plans for a big get together before they head home for Christmas. She has five weeks holiday but did not have a reading week. She has been home most weekends but is finally finding friends and socialising so I'm not expecting to see her much when she goes back. Finally sorted out SF so less stressful for us.

Original poster
spamm · 09/12/2023 21:16

Nice to hear about your kids coming home. DS's flight home is next Sunday, but he has to be out of accommodation on Friday afternoon (we have so much to learn). He is planning to go home to Hampshire with a friend from rugby, and then travel to Heathrow from there Sunday morning.

I am so excited to see him and catch up, although I think bring at home is going to be a bit of an anticlimax. He seems to have settled in ridiculously well, I am very proud of him. And he is also enjoying his course and various clubs. He is regularly playing in rugby games and getting more confident about that. He is busy with his club activities, including Movember, where he raised one of the highest amounts for the club.

Last week he also met with his old child-minder from the UK at the Christmas market. He had not seen her in 12 years, although we have stayed in touch and her daughter has visited us in the US a couple of times.

The Christmas tree is up, the decorations are ready, but when we pick him up, apparently we are dropping him off at his best friend's house for a party, straight from the airport. It makes my heart happy to know they have stayed in touch despite the ridiculous distance.

They settle in and we miss them. Uni Starters 2023 - Thread 2
OP posts:
MirandaWest · 09/12/2023 22:17

DS is actually here at the moment (well out but at home) but that’s because he had to come home for an infusion for his IBD on Thursday and so came Wednesday night and is going back tomorrow. Term ends next Friday I think.

I have no idea whether he’s thought/planned anything about where he’s living next year. Need to bring it up with him…

MTistheDB · 09/12/2023 22:39

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request.

ZittiEBuoni · 10/12/2023 09:28

Same situation here @MTistheDB , although I don't know about everyone's budgets. It's nerve racking to be sure.

Downsidesupside · 10/12/2023 12:33

Dd is also home this weekend, she was discharged from her consultant on Friday and has physio tomorrow so opted to hang around. We are putting the Christmas decorations up.

She has another couple of weeks then before she finishes for Christmas.

troppibambini6 · 10/12/2023 22:46

Dd is home next Friday. I can't wait!
She came home for a night last we and one of us gave her covid 🙈
She doesn't seem too bad with it thank goodness, the idea of her being ill and not at home is horrible.
She's going to stay in on Friday night and spend it with her brothers and sisters. They've all really missed her especially the younger ones!

RoyKentFanclub · 11/12/2023 07:35

DH is going to collect DS on Saturday. He hasn’t been home at all (although we went to visit for the weekend half way through). I’m so looking forward to lots of cuddles but also remember going home when I was at uni and feeling like I had changed so much and that I didn’t entirely fit anymore. I’m hoping DS doesn’t feel like that.

Bearcub101 · 12/12/2023 07:34

Exdp picked up ds last night as he’s been unwell for the last week. Spoke to the GP yesterday who wants to see him as urgent today. Hopefully just a bad case of the lurgy.

Think he just wanted to be home, in comfort and be unwell (and get waited on hand and foot!). He’s due to finish Friday, so we’ll have to go back for his things, as for some unbeknown reason they didn’t think of bringing it all home last night 🤷‍♀️as no way will he leave his pc there over Christmas and miss gaming.

Thankfully he’s settled in well, made a great group of friends and likes his flat mates and course. He spent 20 minutes last night telling me about random chemistry ‘things’- I was lost after neutron, electron and polymer 🤣and then a good 30 minutes going through photos, it really looks like he’s had an amazing time. Best photo was his flat ‘Christmas dinner’ they went all out on it.

He still has to sort his accommodation for next year, knows who he’s sharing with but appears to be in no rush. He’s an adult so I’m just leaving them to it, as apparently ‘we’ll be fine! Stop worrying!’

MirandaWest · 16/12/2023 06:57

DS came back home last night. Went out to see his girlfriend (lives nearby and also at same university). Came back a couple of hours later and she had broken up with him 😔

I’m glad he was able to tell us but is pretty rubbish. He said that things probably had been a bit different but hadn’t expected this. He had at least not bought her a Christmas present yet and nor had I but that feels like a rather minor thing.

They at least aren’t in accommodation near each other at university but I am a bit concerned DS hasn’t made many if any friends up there. Having been down here in hospital and then reading week for a few weeks can’t have helped with the whole situation.

I’m slightly suspicious of a friendship she has and think she may at least have broken up with DS for that reason but I suppose it would at least be the right way round.

He seemed OK when he told us but I’m sure isn’t. I hope I can manage to support him all right.

MirandaWest · 16/12/2023 07:00

No idea about where he will be living next year (at least it’s not with the ex gf which would have been an added complication). He does seem to enjoy his course which is good. Have him here for a few weeks now as he doesn’t have exams at the beginning of January. And he has good friends living here which is also good.

Am concerned this may have an effect on his Ulcerative Colitis as while it’s not in itself caused by stress it can be triggered by it.

RoyKentFanclub · 16/12/2023 07:16

Christmas is a rubbish time for that to happen but at least it’s a time when he’s at home with your support. Reality is that most school relationships won’t survive the first year of university so really it’s better that it’s happened sooner rather later. The second term is I think very different to the first with all the excitement of freshers so it becomes easier to get into a more normal paced way of life. It’s exciting for him really. He found someone he liked from a sixth form of maybe 150ish kids. Think how many people he likes there will be at a university of 15,000 people.

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