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Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Current Oxford/Cambridge students support/chat continued

1000 replies

Panicmode1 · 02/07/2023 15:36

New thread.....!

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beeswain · 02/07/2023 16:30

Checking in thanks @Panicmode1 .
DS started his internship this week and is very excited to be living in London for the summer. I'm feeling a little lost, I have got used to him being around for long holidays. He's told us he is not coming home for any weekends despite being only 1/2 hour away. Part of the normal independence process but I wish he wouldn't put it so bluntly!

Panicmode1 · 02/07/2023 16:35

I empathise, @beeswain - DS talked about "going home" to Cambridge after he came home for Sunday lunch, early in his second term...was gutted!

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HewasH20 · 02/07/2023 18:23

I sympathise @beeswain but DD is integrating her stuff back into our family home after 3 years of hardly being here, so I'm having to get used to having someone else in the house again.

PermanentTemporary · 02/07/2023 21:54

Thank you for the new thread @Panicmode1. Loving reading about the graduations.

Ds and I settling into the new house. Dp is around a lot but will only move in in October. They still don't really have much of a relationship. A lot of change for ds. I think it means even more that ds is mentally at home in C instead. Still, he's inviting friends around here which is good.

ofteninaspin · 02/07/2023 22:12

@Ironoaks, congratulations to your DS on his prize! I hope he enjoys his summer internship.
DS’s girlfriend has just landed in New York and starts her internship tomorrow too.

DS’s stuff is unpacked, cleaned and stashed away. I am so grateful he tends towards minimalism.

DD’s London flat fell through at the very last minute (moving day was meant to be yesterday) so she is moving back home this week to continue the flat hunt.

Clemenc0 · 02/07/2023 22:19

DS after a year at C has completely outgrown the village and county of his upbringing and formal education. He is preparing for a summer in London in my flat which I use 2 nights a week so only a modest crossing of paths. The charms of the capital (including his gf - also at C on a similarly demanding course - of whom he has not seen much in the last term) just a mile or so up the road are too irresistible to resist. Who could blame him for acting in his own best interests? Money will be an issue so he does need to find a casual job. Easier to find one if he is there I would have thought. I just wonder if we'll see him again before late September.

HewasH20 · 02/07/2023 22:24

That's frustrating @ofteninaspin. We hardly saw DD each summer @Clemenc0

On 3 July 2019 DD went to her open day & decided to apply for PPE at her eventual college. I keep a daily diary and it's very strange seeing our first visit recorded alongside what happened each year on the anniversary since. How far we've all come.

Ironoaks · 02/07/2023 22:35

Yes, it's lovely to see them but less lovely to have to store all their worldly belongings.

DS will be gone for 10 weeks which is not much longer than the length of a term. I'm hoping to go and visit him in August; it's a good excuse for a weekend away!

I have been focused on the (considerable) paperwork and logistics of getting DS there, and didn't pay much attention to what he would actually be doing once he arrived. I had assumed that he would be assisting someone in the group with their research (I know little about physics but imagined inputting data or analysing something). From messages he sent yesterday, I've now realised that he will be carrying out his own research project.

JulesJules · 03/07/2023 08:24

Thanks so much for the new thread @Panicmode1

D1's stuff is all over the house as she's sorting it into keep and recyc piles. Bit of time pressure as she's not going to be here for most of the summer and is then moving back to Oxford in September, before her graduation. (hopefully this will still go ahead)

mutterphore · 03/07/2023 09:55

@Panicmode1 many thanks for setting up this continuing thread.

@Ironoaks congratulations to your DS on getting a third year prize for his exams. He's doing really well and I hope his internship in Switzerland goes very well.

@ofteninaspin how lovely that your DS has now graduated! So many changes and transitions!

@beeswain good luck to your DS with his internship and I expect you'll still see quite a bit of him over the summer if you're fairly close by.

DS1 (C)'s "Graduation" at Cambridge was a brilliant event, despite the lack of actually having a degree or any exams marked and no sign of this changing in the near future, sadly, either. We paid in advance for a buffet lunch, although not that good quality (think tiny dried up and curling sandwiches of indeterminate fillings) but it didn't matter at all and met some of DS1's lovely friends, got photos with the college principal, the choir master, who's also a Praelector of the college and spoke to DS1's first year DoS, who's currently on sabbatical but came to the event.

DS2 and I had an almost 2 hour wait in a long queue for Senate House (I should never have worn the new shoes!) and finally got in to witness DS1 kneeling before the college principal, who then fluffed his lines completely and had to re-read them, not just for DS1 but for several of the other students! This all added to the sense of the event which was a surreal combination of the sublime (wonderful old traditions and fantastic sense of pride in DS1) to the ridiculous (as above), especially because the ceremony was really just an elaborate way for the principal to say well done on getting through 3 years at Cambridge, rather than to confer any kind of degree.

What mattered most was knowing DS1 has made the absolute best of his time at Cambridge and I couldn't be more proud of him. Later that evening, we went out for a nice meal and then the following day, picked DS1 up for the last time, from his college.

It's great having DS1 and DS2 back home and looks like they'll be here for another year or so now, pursuing their career paths and further qualifications.

DS2 (O) is now waiting to hear which 'tier' he's in for his Oxford degree ie whether it'll be provisional or marked etc etc but currently can't access his messages from college, poor thing, as his phone's in for repairs. I think I was optimistic to believe that Oxford had sorted out the marking crisis.

Meanwhile, I've has absolutely no response at all from Prof Munir at Cambridge to my email asking questions about the marking strikes, degrees etc. I'm surprised that there's not even been an out of office response at the very least.

It doesn't yet feel quite real that both DS1 and DS2 have now left university and the three years went past incredibly quickly. They're both really going to miss their undergraduate years but are also ready for the next phase of life.

nearlyemptynes · 03/07/2023 10:17

ooohhh beeswain our buffet lunch was possibly the nicest buffet I have ever had.

Ironoaks · 03/07/2023 11:43

@mutterphore that sounds like a lovely day

Malbecfan · 03/07/2023 15:20

@Panicmode1 thanks for the new thread.

@Ironoaks congratulations to your DS on his prize and internship.

@mutterphore glad to read all went well for the graduation.

@ofteninaspin sorry to read about DD's flat. Hopefully somewhere better and cheaper will come along quickly.

@Clemenc0 I remember DD being a bit like that when she came back for her first summer. A fortuitous internship fell into her lap which helped a lot. I just wish DD2 had the same opportunity but she is coining it in the local beachfront cafe and regales us with tales of the rude oiks round here.

@JulesJules I hope results do come through quickly.

I have really enjoyed being on this journey with such lovely people. However, although DD1 is still at C, I am not sure whether I should still be here. If you want me to stick around, I am happy to do so, but won't take offence if you want this to be undergrads only.

Panicmode1 · 03/07/2023 19:26

Of COURSE you must stay @Malbecfan - past, present, future under/post grad/academics parents all welcome. And those of us relative newbies need the wisdom and experience of the 'oldies'

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HewasH20 · 03/07/2023 20:28

I'm soon to slip out of the side door, but @Malbecfan your insight is invaluable to the NatSci crowd.

Ironoaks · 03/07/2023 21:28

@Malbecfan please don't go, I enjoy hearing updates about your DD and also may be in need of your expertise this autumn when DS is applying for a PhD.

mutterphore · 04/07/2023 08:54

@Malbecfan pleased don't leave this thread! I always enjoy and appreciate your input and news. I hope many of us will remain, both to support those with DCs still at Oxbridge and to share news of our offspring as they progress in life, post-uni.

It's probable that many of us here, including those who gently lurk in the background, have DCs who won't even be getting their finals marked and a proper degree for some time and I'd be interested to hear how things progress.

@HewasH20 - understandable of course if you want to slip out the side door but do drop back in if you ever want to as it'd be lovely to hear how things are going for your DD too.

I finally got a reply to my email to Prof Munir - but from "Students Industrial Action" rather than from him. It was a very standard, copy and paste response just repeating what all of us already know about the marking strikes. I especially chuckled at the non-informative phrase, "We are clear that all examinations will be marked and results published once we are in a position to do so..." Well yes, of course you are but it's no clearer when that might be - this year, next year? At least I did get some sort of a reply but it seems like no progression at all has been made with marking finals.

Catsrcool69 · 05/07/2023 07:06

It's lovely to hear of people enjoying graduation but disappointing to hear so many having to move on to the next stage still with no degree or confidence in when they will get their results. I'm still waiting to see if I hear more from my MP and the Department for Education. I will update if I do hear anything of substance but to be honest I'm not holding my breath.

DD seems to be moving on quite rapidly as it turns out she already has work to do before she starts her graduate scheme in 2 weeks time. She's not getting paid yet of course! And is starting to look at flats in London to rent. She's planning to share with 2 friends so I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that plans don't fall through.

PettsWoodParadise · 05/07/2023 17:54

@Malbecfan do stick around. I have slightly jumped the gun in DD not yet being at Cambridge and her having a conditional offer so no guarantees and no one rejected my queries on the previous thread, in fact I got lots of help. Thank you. We are all on different parts of the journey.

Saying that what would normally happen? Would a different thread for 2023 starters be appropriate or do people join this thread as it is a rolling one?

HoneyMobster · 05/07/2023 18:09

Hop on this thread @PettsWoodParadise - the current parents will share their insight about all the things that pop up for Freshers.

I think for both DS1 and DD the initial thread petered out once the students had got past offers day.

PermanentTemporary · 05/07/2023 18:09

I would think that threads people are enjoying will keep going and if there are a group wanting a separate new starters thread, or a separate postgraduate/ careers thread, that would be fine too. I hope people lurk or stay or post as they wish. I don't always have a lot to say at the moment but it is so reassuring reading about people at different stages. I could understand it though if parents of postgrads reached a point where they don't want to read about freshers again I guess!

HoneyMobster · 05/07/2023 18:16

I have another 5 years to go...

PettsWoodParadise · 05/07/2023 19:14

Thank you! Here's hoping that August brings some good news and I get to spend some more digital time with all of you. I have been hoarding facts about nice restaurants to go and places to sit on the river to watch bumps etc. You are all so lovely and supportive.

ofteninaspin · 06/07/2023 08:21

Everything crossed for August results @PettsWoodParadise.

Don’t slip out of the side door just yet @HewasH20. Would love to know what your DD does next.

Congratulations @mutterphore on your Cambridge DT’s graduation and good luck with both DT’s future plans.

DS has been awarded the tripos dissertation prize. Aside from the academic recognition, it is a welcome boost to his bank account.

It is so lovely having DS home this week. We are going on a family holiday to Italy next week and then DS sets off on his own travel adventures before starting his working life in London.

Panicmode1 · 06/07/2023 10:31

@ofteninaspin Congratulations to your DS! And have a fab holiday 😊

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