DH is limiting Y12 DC to universities in the north due to ££££

[BatteredHonda]

DC is in Y12 and wants to apply to KCL, Bristol and Exeter - alongside other unis. DC will qualify for minimum maintenance loan and we are therefore expected to top up/pay the accommodation. We struggle to make ends meet as it is so DH has said DC canNOT apply to southern unis - let alone London ones. He is recommending Leicester, Newcastle, Swansea, Belfast etc instead. DC is furious but I do get where DH coming from. What are your thoughts?

I don’t think you can or should tell a near adult where they should go

i think you can explain how much money you can give and what that means and show him costs etc. and let him decide. But also look at the course Kings/Bristol/Exeter are all Russell Group not all of DH list are. That needs as well to be considered

does he play a sport that is linked as well such as rugby?

What does he want to do with the History degree?

Humanities are notoriously unpredictable in terms of career/wage outcome. I do know people who have done very well and equally the same amount of people who have done 'OK' - all are happy - which I guess is the main thing.

The question is - is a History degree at Exeter which will cost thousands more than Leicester due to accommodation - worth it? If so, how much is he willing to pay for it? Either by getting a job &/or loans?

Your DC will have to get a part time job to cover expenses. That's what my DC have done and they chose where they wanted to go.

So that's up to your ds then. Mine got max loan and discounted several unis on cost , but it was their decision.
.

I lost what little sympathy I had left at this point. Poor DC will be too tired from his hobbies to get an actual job. Pampered kid problems, eh?🙄

”That training takes up most of his free time - and will realistically continue at uni. He will be too knackered to hold down a job too.”

I’d love to spend all my free time doing yoga but sadly I need to earn some money so I have a job. Your DH is unreasonable to limit based on location but your DS has a choice to get a job if he wants/needs more money to live.

If you're willing to top up to maximum loan then there is no need to limit where your DS goes to at all but you DS will have to make up the difference.

We did suggest to DD that applying to London would makes things very difficult and that we didn't think she needed to go to London for her choice of course (Biology) but then left it to her where she decided to go. As it happens she has gone and booked a more expensive house for 2nd yr in Nottingham so she has made it harder than it needed to be anyway! She can't work at uni (no time) but we have said she will need to work during holidays to cover extra bills that will come in.

Topping up loan to Max seems to be the most popular way of helping so don't feel bad you can't do more than that. They can get by without living off stale bread and soup :-) Just have to do without ensuite or lots of eating out/clubbing.

My friend did History at Oxford - I think he had 3 contact hours per week!!!

Your son will have plenty of time to do a job

@Bunnycat101 @HundredMilesAnHour not pampered no. And many employers value participating in serious competitive sport as more valuable than flipping burgers.

DC canNOT apply to southern unis - let alone London ones. He is recommending Leicester, Newcastle, Swansea, Belfast etc instead

University of Bristol 51.4585° N
Swansea University 51.6092° N

That makes Swansea about 10 miles further north (but you have to travel further west to get there)

@BatteredHonda
I think your husband is being very sensible
I'll be telling my children if they don't want to go locally and stay at home I'm not supporting them we physically couldn't afford to basically run 3 houses when they can live at home for free - I think the whole concept of going away and spending a fortune could be a thing of the past and at the end of the day they'd still get a degree

King's College London 51.5115° N

Sorry, but that's ridiculous. Lots of students do competitive sports while also having PT jobs - county level is great and he is obviously talented, but it isn't really elite athlete territory, is it? If you need the money, that's just what you have to do!

If he is unable/unwilling to do this, then he is going to have to compromise, isn't he? Study in a cheaper city/live on a shoestring or cut back on how much sport he is doing.

The problem is that just because a uni city is in the north, that doesn't mean it is cheaper. Lots of places have really expensive student accommodation becuase of the competition for it. Of course Bristol and London will be expensive but the north isn't always cheaper.

DP and I went to a uni which did not allow part time jobs, and he worked nonstop throughout the holidays in a warehouse to help fund himself. Actually his first proper job after graduating told him that they liked that, the recruiter said he’d had enough of spoiled never had a real job types.

You and DH can tell DS what you can offer, and If he wants his choice of location he’ll have to do similar holiday work and/or do part time work in term time which is easily done at most places. If he doesn’t then he obviously doesn’t want to go there that much.

As an employer, I'd far rather employ the kid who had demonstrated an aptitude for hard graft by flipping burgers than someone who had done a lot of competitive sport. I honestly couldn't care less about people's hobbies tbh!

If you're spending money on a university you should make sure it's money well spent. Going to a university that's not as well regarded as others DC could get into would be effectively a waste of money.

KCL and Exeter would be money well spent.

Your H is being penny wise and pound foolish.

DC needs to get a job and start saving on top of school and studying.

My father said roughly the same. Pick a university within a two hour drive or sort out your own transport. Luckily, the one I wanted and got to was only an hour away. I wasn't angry, just surprised, but we didn't fall out over it.

There's the 3month long summer holiday to work in, most DC can earn enough in that time to top themselves up sufficiently.

My DD also competes in sport and keeps down a job, while doing a STEM degree. And no, work experience is pretty vital. A lot more than being really, really good at cricket.

Work experience all the way.

You’d better get saving then OP. I year beans are nice.

As an employer I, too, would prefer burger flipping over competitive sport!

It shows an ability to graft at an unrewarding job, teamwork, attention to detail (cleaning, cooking the burgers to spec), customer service skills and most importantly an understanding of the workplace.

I've taken on students in their first-ever job before now and have had to sack them for just not showing up to work without saying a thing before or after. Repeatedly. Even after a firm talking to. And then they had the cheek to try and complain to an irrelevant department.

Competitive sport is realistically something they enjoy. I'd sooner know they're willing to do some boring and repetitive hard graft before letting them move onto the interesting stuff.

I wanted to go to London but couldn’t had to go to a Midlands Uni a RG though so not an issue really. But I also had a job every Thursday evening and a Saturday. Wish it could have been different as my friends didn’t need to work.

I knew I’d have to support myself that’s why I didn’t go to London.

I think it is a bit unfair to DS because often those with the max loan get other sources of funding like bursaries. For example Cambridge give a sliding scale bursary up to £3k on top of the loan that students get. As your son will only qualify for minimum maintenance, he will unlikely qualify for these bursaries so it will be hard for him to manage on a full loan, through no fault of his own.