Uni threat to terminate student's studies

[Allshallbewell2021]

My ds has just succeeded in his appeal against a termination of studies based on non attendance. He had no idea that lectures were mandatory. His attendance is lower than the bar they expect but the dept dealing with him have not been explicit about either of these figures.
His work is up to date.
He did not know lectures were mandatory -lecturers said they were 'important'.
He has had a large number of challenges which have effected his attendance.
I can't the brutality of the process. The stasi like language.
The lack of seeing young people (particularly the Covid uni cohort) as uniquely unlucky in uni terms.
The lack of support for someone struggling
The treatment of a student in a way which seems like they've committed real crimes not just misunderstood the rules.
When did the unis become such vicious places? I was so naive. I am horrified by their attitude. It seems like how you'd treat someone guilty of a serious crime.

Really pleased to hear that and I wish your son well re: his continuing studies.

I also respect your resilience on this thread. It can't have been easy for you, but you have responded in good grace.

Thank you Breadin.
This community helped me stay stable many years ago through several tough times so I have unshakable respect and gratitude for it.

Fantastic to read, @Allshallbewell2021 and all the best to him and you.

@Allshallbewell2021 all the very best to your son for his final months at Uni and in his future. Hoping you can now relax a bit as well.

When I was at uni, there were people there who registered as students, got the finance etc and never turned up to lectures. They used to submit a piece of work by the deadline but weren't interested in the results as they worked full time and used the student finance as a cheap loan facility and took advantage. The university got wise to the scam.

OP I'm glad things are sorted now, must have been a bit of a shock for you but hopefully there are learnings all round and your son will go on to make a big success of his degree.

@Mumteedum I have no idea how they'll cope with a 'boss'

in my experience, about the same. I've had the pleasure of two new graduate employees who treated work in the same way you describe your students treating your sessions. One was over a decade ago, so not a new phenomenon. This one interviewed very well, but seemed to have a complete personality transplant between interview and starting work. Totally uninterested in the job and then one day rang in sick. The next day a letter arrived containing their resignation, and we had a closer look at their desk which they had cleared the last time they were on site, including some company property that we had to retrieve via official channels. Another was lovely but had a total disregard for starting times and wafted about creating havoc doing a bad job with others having to clear up their mess. After numerous "coaching sessions" etc, we went down the route of job capability procedure to manage them out.

A friend is currently supervising someone similar and pulling her hair out over it. What they all seem to have in common is a belief that they are the centre of their own bubble, that they can pick and chose which bits of study/work/life they want to engage with and ignore the rest, because someone else will deal with what they don't want to. To be fair to the person we managed out - they appeared to finally get it at the end and admitted that they actually wanted a career in a totally different area unrelated to their degree. I'm hopeful that it was the jolt they needed to go and made a success for themselves.

My ds has just succeeded in his appeal against a termination of studies based on non attendance. He had no idea that lectures were mandatory. His attendance is lower than the bar they expect

Well, if he didn't attend lectures, the Department couldn't very well have told him anything. Because he'd decided he didn't want to hear.

He's been incredibly stupid, frankly. Why would he not attend lectures???

A lot of student "struggles" are because they do not engage. How many times did he attend a lecturer's office hours? How many seminars or personal tutorials did he attend? Dud he read all his

And yet you run a line that the university has been harsh ...

I'm glad for his sake (and that of my colleagues') that it's been sorted out, but really! Can you not see your cognitive dissonance
Oh my son is being harshly treated & the university is like the Stasi (fucking bloody hell, that's an outrageous thing to say)
but oh no he didn't bother to read his course handbook or university regulations, indicating attendance
oh no of course he didn't bother to go to lectures

No wonder university staff register high levels of stress in dealing with disengaged students. How could staff possibly have known if he had been struggling?? We're very clever people, but mind-reading isn't in our skill-set.

I’ve never heard of registers being taken at lectures.

We do it all the time in my Department, and if an absent student hasn't emailed in with a note about why they're going to be absent, the lecturer emails all absent students individually to find out why they weren't there. 3 absences and we do a "fit for study" check with a Welfare Tutor.

But still, universities are blamed by a parent for not caring about her slacking DS ...

without genuine attempts to engage with them. Maybe some academics are better than others at this?

If he doesn't attend, can you explain HOW academics can engage with your DS @Allshallbewell2021 - particularly when we already work over 50 hours a week generally, our admin staff are cut to the bone, and we have 100s of students ALL of whom have been through COVD. As have ALL the staff - don't you remember when it was illegal to be teaching face to face? None of that was down to any staff member or university being "poor" (I do wonder how a non-attending 20 year old knows better than the experts who is "better).

Sounds like a good outcome OP. Wishing your DS well with his studies.

Sorry Blueheelers, I have learned a great deal since I posted - I was upset and worried and all I had seen was a letter terminating his studies unless he appealed successfully.
It was a shock to read that if the appeal was unsuccessful - he would not ever be able to return or redo a year.
I understand all your responses and regret my tone. I am not disrespecting all his lecturers skills, he has issues which mean he doesn't want to always go into big gatherings. It's hard to explain as I don't want to identify him. But his work was all in on time - I didn't realise (having gone to uni in another century) that lectures were mandatory. He thought they were encouraged not mandatory- his
Responsibility but he is not alone in this misapprehension, the student union advisors are dealing with a lot of termination of studies owing to poor engagement. See JenniferBarclay's post.

I understand how frustrating it must be to hear parents defensive of their dc.
But no one is going to go in to bat for my ds except me and him. His struggles are genuine. He found school difficult academically and socially, he has some complex health issues and he has some mental health issues. But he's also one of the most intelligent, compassionate, determined, life loving people I know. But he has always been a bit different. I know many young people may sail through life, confident and competent, but some don't. But I believe the world needs the strugglers too.
He has ups and downs and he has made a great error of judgment over lecture attendance- but he was also handing all his work in.
Now he has met with his academic staff - all is well, the threat is gone and he can now focus on trying to graduate.
I know many people who's young adult children have complex strengths and weaknesses. But my ds has battled hard to succeed all his life and he definitely makes mistakes, but he's not just 'lazy' stupid or a 'slacker'. I think people who have more vulnerable dc will understand that we want our children to succeed too and will advocate for them so they have opportunities too.
I know unis offer much vaunted support (as they should) but honestly sometimes people may be in too much anguish to ask for help, or too embarrassed or too ashamed, or befuddled or frightened. This may not show in their demeanor.
A lot of successful people say things like - I would not be here if my parent/teacher/carer/grandparent hadn't believed in me.
I feel like are very dismissive and actually I can't argue with anyone - all I can say is that I believe this will help him be more independent in the end. He's had a tough time and he has earned the right to try to get a degree imho.

I'm glad you have got a good ration. Best of luck to your DS for the rest of his degree!

Thank you Piedbeauty xx