Oxbridge 2023 support; it's offer month. Good luck all.

[Riverpebble]

New thread for the start of the Oxbridge offers.

Parts of Birmingham are grime, but the university itself is lovely. The clock tower and the red brick semi circular buildings are iconic.

We have similar perception issues between choosing Bath and Birmingham for insurance.

I have heard that the campus and accommodation are nice.

The campus is very green and leafy and the first year accommodation (of which there is loads, both University and privately managed) mostly good. Ditto the local accommodation for subsequent years, although both DS1 and DD have lived in housing which was quite reminiscent of some of the flats I shared in the late 1970s / early 1980s, but with the big advantage of central heating. DD's current house is relatively modern, with a large lounge / kitchen area, but even some of the Victorian/ early 20th century housing stock aimed at the student market has been renovated to give 'all en suite' accommodation (although DS1's partner did share one house where a couple of the rooms were about 50:50 'jenga-fit' shower room / bedspace, size-wise).

Thanks. I think it would suit her. But she will have to make her own mind up. B’ham would be convenient for us as a family. But I know Oxbridge will win.

How are you all?

Any st Andrew's offers?

Feeling disappointed and deflated from our end. 😩

Still no offers for comp sci following Cambridge post interview rejection.

Mock results just back and he achieved the Scottish equivalent of another four A stars (he already has one from year 12) He's remaining motivated for now but must be feeling it.

Hurry up St As, Edinburgh, Glasgow and Durham!!!!! 🤞

Maybe it'll be like buses and all come at once......

Hope you all have had better news and are excited about your DCs' future.

Yes, it's such a long journey waiting on these last offers (DD still waiting on Durham and Edinburgh, which would be her no 1&2 choices. We live in the SW, so sad she may be so far away).

She had some generic course feedback last week after her Oxford rejection - basically her course was more competitive this year than previously, but they also provide interview and written work scores which are irrelevant when you don't know what your own scores are! She seemed ok about it though.

We waiting for St Andrew's and Durham. St Andrew's is his first choice as he loves the course. School have never had an offer from them for his course so he's really down in the dumps about it, especially after being pooped at Cambridge and not picked up. All we can do is cross everything! Although St Andrew's is so far away! I have a feeling he may take a year out if he's not successful.

pooped? That just made me laugh (put glasses on before typing maybe) I meant pooled!

How would the other reject cohort (sorry I find redirection too twee) feel if I started our own thread as in previous years so as to let the well-deserved offer holders rejoice without us being downers? Any enthusiasm? It might help me.

We've had a really rough half term, ds studying for mocks which start on Weds but very demotivated and also a bit ill, which hasn't helped. Some tears yesterday and an outburst how he's stupid - a reminder he was the only one in his cohort not to get an O offer. Waiting on StA and E and now really worried he won't get either. DH beginning to say maybe he shouldn't go to uni at all - which I don't think is the answer. Reassurances from me that we've seen his O scores and they were up there and/or above the offer holders (plus a convo I haven't told him about with his head of subject who told me he was pipped to the post by some not-great students but such is life ...) are not helping - I don't think many teenagers respond well to hearing their mum telling them they're great.

Yes @Rejects - I'd like a 2023 rejects thread. DS was gutted (even more than we thought he might be) not to get C offer, but luckily has a Durham offer which is helping to refocus...

@Rejects with the greatest respect I wonder if your own feelings about your son’s lack of offer is affecting him?

you seem very caught up in it all still on this and other threads and repeatedly reminding him and everyone that he was better than some who got an offer and by implication robbed of something he should have had rightfully. I just can’t see that being a healthy response?

it’s a lottery of course and everyone should be clear going in to the process that nothing is guaranteed but also they might just have softer metrics that aren’t quantifiable that just meant it wasn’t to be.

Placing so much stall by success both before during and after the process whilst equally suggesting the system has failed him and is somehow wrong seems really unhealthy.

It is never going to be a good idea to allow a 17 year to base their sense of self worth so closely to achieving something really hard that isn’t simply a pass mark attainment situation.

continuing a new thread for those who didn’t get in seems like further extending the sense of failure you are feeling for your son rather than helping him shrug it off as one of those things and not letting it define him (or you).

I genuinely wish him all the best in his undoubtedly bright future and hope you can both move forwards from this now.

@Rejects I think a new group would be a great idea. We are in very similar situations and it's good to have the support whilst also allowing this thread to continue for those with offers.

I hear you clearly *askingforafriendly - just to make it clear I don't say any of the stuff about being robbed EVER to ds or ever make out that he will have an anything-but-fantastic time elsewhere, as I genuinely believe he will. I don't believe he is "better" than anyone else, it's just the high scores are harder to compute than scores where you could say ah-hah, so that's what went wrong but there will be reasons he wasn't selected and they will probably be very good ones. It's just hard to boost the confidence of an ill and understandably disappointed and demotivated ds, whose future is up in the air because his other offers haven't come through.

My suggestion for another thread was so people could feel a bit sad together without dampening the jubilation at others' deserved success. I'll start one and I wish all your wonderful dc, whichever side of the fence they fell on, the best of luck

*Rejects - that is a very handsome and noble response from you. I think (apologies if I am wrong ) that those entering for anything science or maths based have had a horrendous time of it, with the most fearful competition in their fields. My own child, fortunate to get an offer for a humanities subject, has witnessed so many incomprehensible non-offers around them as to beggar belief. Not a single other offer has been given and we would be entirely empty-handed if not for this, so can well imagine how agonising this wait is for everyone.

(plus a convo I haven't told him about with his head of subject who told me he was pipped to the post by some not-great students but such is life ...)

I'm just delurking to say I find this really disrespectful. So your DS didn't get in, you're understandably upset but to keep slagging off the other students who were successful is just not on.
(My DS was rejected for Cambridge after his interview, I know it's tough but onwards and upwards).

Sorry for derailing the thread, as you were.

On any Oxbridge hopefuls thread, every year a good number of parents -and it's the parents who are posting here - are disappointed. The rejects/redirected one for DD's year opened up pretty quickly after the offers day, and the chat is still going strong well into their second year. I catch up with it from time to time because I felt I'd got to know those parents a bit, and missed them when they'd moved on. I know some were very upset at the time, but that aspect of the conversation has long since been left behind. Their DC are at great universities, as you'd expect.
That's a longwinded way of saying that a 'rejects' thread isn't all about licking wounds. It's about what actually lies ahead for a bunch of seriously bright kids.

I apologise, you're right - the call from the teacher came out of the blue this morning and shook me up but I shouldn't have posted that.
The new thread is up there if people want it and should be celebratory in tone - I am trying to be quietly celebratory at home but every time get to shut up. That's teenagers for you. I won't post here again.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I assume your DS is at a top private school rejects given the number of offers they seem to expect to get. The subject head and other teachers seem to spend a lot of time telling you how inadequate the other pupils are. If they are gossiping so carelessly to you, presumably they are also gossiping about your DS to other parents. Have you considered making a complaint about their unprofessionalism?

Has anyone managed to get a response from Hertford College Admissions? They don’t seem to be having an Offer Holders Day and I have now emailed them several times about visiting, with no response, so tried ringing today and just got a recorded message. I should like to visit this term to get a better feeling for the college and college life and the teaching of my course.

We've had an invite for an offer holder day at Christ Church, a couple of weeks ago. DD very excited, I'm really excited. It's in mid March.

Mocks at the moment so great to have something to make all the revising, feel worth while.

My child has also had an invite to a college open day, in march, which I am trying very hard not to get too excited about because of the worry of a-level results and not going there in the end (if you see what i mean). I don't want to put too much pressure on my child.
However I am wondering about wearing a red scarf so that other mumsnetters can spot me😂

DS has an offer day in March too, he’s asked me to join him - bit shocked tbh as he hasn’t wanted me at any of the others and has gone out of his way to sort them out for himself, travel and all. So I think he’s serious about it (and is thankful that the college has a parents/carer programme separate from his 🤣)

If they haven’t heard about an offer holder day and the college has nothing on the website (Oxford) do you assume they aren’t having one?