Oxford/Cambridge - current students support/chat thread 2022 - cont

[Panicmode1]

@petitebleu - so sorry to hear about your DS. I hope that some time out over Christmas may help to give him some space and time to think about his next steps.

Not that I’m aware @goodbyestranger - I was so overwhelmed by seeing Mary Beard - in an amazing Roman city - I didn’t actually dare talk to her and she was just leaving

Ds is doing ok and we had a nice chat and a coffee out. Feeling guilty at seeing him looking a bit tired and stressed already. He could be at a less pressured University and still perfectly fine from an employability point of view. I have to try and remember I didn't make this happen, he went for it himself.

If he’s anything like mine, though, he will have been keeping odd hours during his vacation time. My DS is very disciplined about getting 8 hrs a night at Cambridge. He was during the Christmas holidays too, but he was going to bed at 1.30am/2am so getting up very late! So when we dropped him back yesterday he was already feeling tired as he’d not had much sleep as been up early that morning (for him) packing. I’m confident he’ll soon be back in his Cambridge routine.

Much the same with us over the Christmas vac. DS late to bed and late to rise - often tempted out of bed by an espresso - pursuant to an earlier mug of tea while abed. He is British after all. He appears to have a solid routine at C although he does sorely miss the early mug of tea.

Dropped DS off in a very wet Cambridge on Saturday for his penultimate term. With winter ball responsibilities finished, he says his focus will be on tennis and work this term - and 21st birthday parties.

@ofteninaspin DS will turn 21 in the last week of term. We have planned a couple of celebratory activities for the Easter vacation.

He has started applying for summer research placements but they are very competitive. He does have an online interview this week (for one in Germany) - if I hadn't prompted him to check the time zone he would have logged in an hour late.

@Ironoaks, good luck for your DS's interview. Thank goodness you checked the time! Keeping on top of internship/job applications during term time is a challenge. DS is relieved that he doesn't have to factor in any more job applications ahead of finals.

The end of term is a very good time to have a birthday. DS's 21st is mid term. Several of his friends turned 21 last term and hiring the JCR seemed to be a popular option at his college.

Ooh @ofteninaspin my DD went to the aforementioned winter ball and had a great time.

She has been back for over 2 weeks. Last night she messaged to say that she had just delivered her first supervision of the term, so she was right back in the swing of things.

Her 21st birthday was in July 2020 so we were all at home together. I don't think she thinks it was a big deal. Her 18th was on a school choir tour to Italy and it just so happened that we sang a Mass in St Mark's in Venice on the day. DD2 and I were both there and 90+ people sang Happy Birthday in harmony to her, so it was quite special. DD2's 21st was at Easter last year. She had to do a PCR test prior to flying out to Japan for her "year" abroad, which was only a term. We stayed in a nice hotel at Heathrow and DD1 and her bf came to join us for dinner. We don't really do normal in this family!

@goodbyestranger any news about your DDs stolen luggage? I keep hoping that it'll be found and returned to her. Hope she's coping with the stress of losing all her very precious stuff and the start of term as well. It's a lot to cope with.

Thanks mutterphore, you're incredibly thoughtful and kind.

No news. Mary Beard's tweet has had over 90k views which is fab and Caitlin Moran who has a heap of followers retweeted it. I'm super grateful to all retweeters though obviously. I emailed the boss of Cross Country Trains along with the boss of the BTP because Cross Country has no CCTV which is a major omission and the BTP boss because they really do seem to lack energy with gang thefts at the end of the day. Ordinary people on fb and twitter seem to have much more oomph than these guys. To be fair the boss of Cross Country emailed back very courteously very quickly and I did get a call from a detective in the BTP but it was all about managing expectations and priorities (uni work well down the list because no monetary value; the lost summer earnings helped a bit - very shallow). I get the distinct impression that the BTP are simply letting these gangs get on with nicking cases and I suppose that they do have bigger things to deal with but still. DD4 said that the emergency they were dealing with in Oxford on the 11th was of incalculably more moment and recognises only too well the scale of things but she's clearly feeling a bit punched in the stomach and I'm trying not to message too much. Thanks for asking though - greatly appreciated.

@goodbyestranger you've done a lot to try and help your DD. It's so hard when any of our DCs has something stressful going on and there's a limit to what you can do. Great that Mary Beard has had so many views on her tweet and that Caitlin Moran retweeted it too.

Come on BTB! Surely you can do a concerted effort to crack down on these gangs? How on earth can they not have CCTV in this day and age? What we need is a gang of MN amateur Miss Marple type sleuths to travel up and down that line and watch out for these thieves!

Maybe the suitcase and at least some of the contents like the academic notes might just yet turn up. I really hope so. I also hope your DDs friends and her tutor is being extra kind to her and very supportive.

I think Cross Country may be unusual in not having CCTV, or possibly that was just an old train mutterphore. But exactly! The BTP do seem incredibly, incredibly laizzez faire about these gang thefts given that they are clearly very aware that they happen, which lines etc. Surely a couple of plain clothes officers could get on the trains in question and arrest a thief and take them in for questioning or follow them off the train to see where they go and who they meet up with. Am I being naive? It just doesn't seem that it would take a lot to break up the thefts. Perhaps they think property theft is less malicious than other thefts or other crimes.

DD4 is lucky, has lovely friends and a really helpful tutor.

So sorry to hear that your DD still hasn't been reunited with her case @goodbyestranger - I was so hoping the BTP, social media (or St Anthony) would have performed a miracle for her.

I’m another one who keeps checking in hoping for a stream of notifications meaning there has been good news @goodbyestranger . I hope she is being well supported in Oxford.

I'm heading on that route a few times this month. I'm going armed with a large magnifying glass and a twirly moustache to channel my inner Poirot to defeat the thrives.

Thank you all three. H20 I've always had a sense that you are made of strong stuff. I am extremely keen on the idea of you donning a Poirot moustache and cracking the crime :) Reward happily given :) Go for it, please!

I shall use my little grey cells, Madame

I, too, have been hopefully checking for a positive outcome. Shame on the BTP for being so useless. Am very disappointed in St Anthony as well.

😂Love this!

I'm so sorry that nothing has turned up yet @goodbyestranger - I too have been checking back hoping for good news.

D1 has a very heavy term ahead - submitted work , dissertation and a paper to do at the same time, this was the only term she could fit it in. She has made several appointments for counselling, and waited in for them but they have never phoned. After one appointment they missed, she got a letter saying that she had missed it and she had to rebook. She has also just realised that some things have gone missing from her room over the vac, she was told she could leave things in a locked cupboard and in an underbed box. Her little clotheshorse, a blanket and a vacuum pack bag used for pillows and duvet have vanished from the underbed box. Perhaps I could engage Monsieur Poirot, @HewasH20 ?

I'm really sorry to hear about your DD's stolen stuff, @goodbyestranger. I've been refreshing the thread too with hopes of a miracle. She must be made of strong stuff if she's managing to forge on.

My DS (third year) is having a pretty horrible start of term too, @JulesJules: he lost five weeks of effective work to covid last term and has had a series of extensions, so spent the whole vac working (only took off Christmas Day and Boxing Day!). He got his extended essay in, but is going to be up to the wire with assessed work for another course due in on Monday. Then his dissertation - he's going to try to get a couple of week's extension as he was able to do nothing on it over the vac. But then that eats in to time for finals revision over Easter . . . Luckily he only has two exams.

His (joint) course has given them a lot of take-away exams and assessed essays the last couple of years. I think the idea is to compensate for the effects of covid measures but he finds the assessed work much more stressful and time-consuming than final exams would be (one of the main reasons he applied to Oxford in the first place). Everything has to be cut to length, fully referenced, full bibliographies. So the take away exams are really nothing like actual exams. Its all very different than in my day - apart from a dissertation and extended essay I had basically 5 days of exams morning and afternoon. I had to numb my hand with freezing spray to be able to keep writing, but at least it reduced the stress the rest of the time!

I didn't realise there was a new thread and was wondering why you'd all gone so quiet!

goodbyestranger, that is terrible about your DD's suitcase and I ma sorry to hear it.

DD1 is back in Cambridge and studying quite hard as she has some big deadlines looming. She also went to varsity, which was her first ski trip. We knew she'd be either very good or very bad at it. She turned out to be very good and did not find it tiring, so would stay out later to get more practise in. I got lots of texts and even facetimes where she bragged of her skiing ability, including one where she showed me an empty slope, then realised everyone had gone home. I told her to get going. An hour later, we got a tearful phonecall: She was stuck on the mountain alone, it was almost dark and there was a wolf at the bottom. We were unsurprised. She is generally inept at everything non-academic. It took ages for her to get through to the emergency services and someone had to pick her up on a skimobile and bring her back!

She had asked some French people for help, when she realised the chair lift had stopped, but when they saw she was English, they laughed at her, told her to climb up and skiied down to the car park, as they had come in their own vehicles.

It has not put her off France, which is useful, as she has been accepted on a two year fully-funded masters in Paris, which is wonderful news. She has been watching netflix with French dubbing and subtitles for language practise. Unfortunately "Emily in Paris" is crap to have to sit through.

@CinnamonJellyBeans that must have been quite a phone call!!!!
Thank goodness she was rescued in the end and huge congratulations on the masters offers.

@CinnamonJellyBeans What a fantastic offer for her, congratulations! I would suggest your DD watches 'Spiral' which would no doubt enhance her 'street' French but I wouldn't want to put her off Paris (for those who have not seen it , it is rather 'gritty' but fab!)

@CinnamonJellyBeans - congratulations to her on the offer and I'm glad to hear that she coped with her rather dramatic experience on the slopes.