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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Son (18) Distraught Over Results

380 replies

annelovesthebeach1975 · 18/08/2022 16:29

Hello everyone! I have been a longtime lurker of mumsnet for years now but today I have felt the need to finally make an account and post here, as my house has been plunged into chaos by the dreaded A Level results day. As the title says, my son has been absolutely distraught all day over the fact that his a level results were not what he wanted, and he got rejected by his dream uni, Newcastle University, and also his insurance choice, Birmingham. Although he only wanted to go to Newcastle so he doesn't really care about that. He received BCD although his predicted was AAB so obviously everyone was quite disappointed, but my son has taken it absolutely horrifically and it is breaking my heart. For some backstory, from when my son started lower sixth, his teachers helped students start looking for unis and courses during free periods at least once a week. From when my son began researching unis, he's only ever wanted to go to Newcastle University. When we went to the open day last year after he got his conditional offer he was hooked even further. He even knew what accomodation he wanted. He's a smart boy so I wasnt too worried about him getting in. However, after some of his exams he seemed quite unsure of himself, saying he didn't feel like he did a good job. I assumed this was just him overthinking it but now I believe the fact he didn't actually sit his GCSEs because of covid has had a negative effect on him since these were his first 'real exams.' He has been on the phone to clearing all day basically pleading for a biomed place at Newcastle and he has emailed them directly as well, although biomed and many other science courses are not clearing and his grades are much lower than the entry requirements so it has made things very difficult. I am putting on a brave face for him but on the inside I am heartbroken. This summer all he has talked about is what he's going to do when he goes to Newcastle, how excited he is, and how he's so excited for freshers week in newcastle. His eyes are red raw from crying in his room between contacting Newcastle over and over. He is not usually an emotional lad so this is very upsetting for me. I have contacted his sixth form for advice and they basically told me there is basically no chance he will find a biomed place at Newcastle with his grades, which were a shock to his teachers as they all thought he would breeze through his exams. It is looking like he will have to resit his a levels which while it is not the end of the world, it feels like it for my son when all his mates got into their unis, some Newcastle, and will be starting there next month. I am just looking for any advice on how to comfort him because I want him to know that I am there for him, and if there's any way I can get him a place at Newcastle on a science course that is biomed or similar.

OP posts:
GlueyMooey · 18/08/2022 16:47

What about biomedical engineering at Reading Uni CCD clearing offer. Good Uni!

vjg13 · 18/08/2022 16:48

I think you can do that at Hull, so essentially a 4 year degree.

GiltEdges · 18/08/2022 16:48

Unfortunately OP, he isn’t getting into Newcastle with those grades. Resit is his best option, but as a PP pointed out, he needs to check that Newcastle will actually accept resits before pinning all his hopes on that.

Sorry for your son, it’s very difficult at that age to realise that this won’t be the be all and end all of his life, but once he’s accepted it/the initial shock has subsided he will be fine.

LIZS · 18/08/2022 16:49

Are there any Biomed courses with foundation years in Clearing? Or other Bioscience courses with an option to change year 2? I doubt Newcastle will accept him as they have had time to discuss offering him alternatives before turning him down. His other option is to resit and/or reapply for 2023.

Minty78 · 18/08/2022 16:49

Oh, I've been there (son 24 now), he did an HND and applied to Uni from there but I really feel for your son, and for you. It's a big disappointment to get over. You are doing an amazing job, and I know that you are using all your energy to put on a brave face, but I think it can be okay just to say "This is really rotten, I feel your disappointment" or something like that. It sounds like it will be okay in the long term, but it doesn't feel like it. This sort of thing is the hardest side of parenting I think.

Jaxhog · 18/08/2022 16:49

Can he appeal his grades?

GlueyMooey · 18/08/2022 16:49

You have an option to do a placement year too

GlueyMooey · 18/08/2022 16:50

GlueyMooey · 18/08/2022 16:49

You have an option to do a placement year too

Sorry meant to say the BoiMed engineering course at Reading allows you to do a placement year

annelovesthebeach1975 · 18/08/2022 16:50

AgathaMystery · 18/08/2022 16:47

OP this was my DB. A few short yrs ago. He had his heart set on Kings for biomed and didn’t get the grades. He resat a year later and got in. That year was the best thing that could have happened to him. Results day was AWFUL. I mean, my mother called me to come home (I live 300 miles away) it was that bad. But we (me and my brother) made a plan for re-sit and it was doable.

One A level he couldn’t resit due to funding issues so he did an entire A level in a year. He managed it. He simply had not worked hard enough. GCSE we’re easy for him and he didn’t want to hear us all when we said A levels were very very difficult.

his teachers told him to forget Kings but he refused. In fact, it was the only place he applied to the following year. He graduated 2 years ago.

Today and this weekend will be very hard but your son will get through it. If he wants to go to Newcastle he should resit. It’s doable.

Thank you for sharing your story. It is nice to know I am not the only one dealing with a lot of emotions on results day. It is looking like he is going to end up having to resit. I am thinking this could be quite good as he will have an extra year to gather up money at his part time job, but I have a feeling he doesnt want to hear about gap years yet so I will share my thoughts later lol.

OP posts:
thesandwich · 18/08/2022 16:50

Poor lad. He must be gutted. But it isn’t the end of the world even if it feels like it. My dd missed her dream course at uni, despite remarks. She ended up having a really useful gap year, learnt a lot, built a lot of new skills
, earn t a lot of money, and got a place on the same course with help from tutors the following year.
now graduated in an excellent job she loves, she thinks it was a v positive thing.
Hang on in there.

Wheresthebeach · 18/08/2022 16:51

Just sending a hug. DD, who's always done well in exams, grades were 2-3 grades down on predicted. One subject we expected but the other two an awful shock. I don't know why, she thought everything was okay. The school is shocked. God knows what happened.

mumonthehill · 18/08/2022 16:53

The thing is even if he resits there is no guarantee that he would get an offer from Newcastle next year. I would have a look at clearing and see what is available and then talk to him when he is calm and able to think clearly. It is really hard for them.

SoupDragon · 18/08/2022 16:54

DS1 missed out on his first choice Uni by 1 single mark (yes, we had all the relevant papers re-marked). After the stress and upset he ended up at his second choice and had a fabulous time, making great friends, despite his first choice being where he had his heart set on going.

It won't seem like it today but things will work out one way or another, be that re-sits, a different Uni or a slightly different route.

it's a horrible time!

Wavingnotdrown1ng · 18/08/2022 16:56

Inthecathouseagain · 18/08/2022 16:46

Hi OP. I'm so sorry to hear this. Please tell him that, although understandably disappointing, this is just a point in time. He can retake his A-levels in the Oct / Nov series. Then he can reapply, with (hopefully improved) grades in hand and could be sitting in a bunch of unconditional offers early next year. It's only a few months when you think about it. Also, a gap year can be absolutely brilliant for them. Maybe he could work and travel / work abroad. Nothing is fixed in stone and if he wants this enough, this is just a bend in the road. Good luck!!!

Just to say there won’t be an Oct/ Nov series this year. The 2020 and 2021 opportunities were a special Covid-related provision - the next retake opportunity is May/ June 2023.

Sorry to hear that your son has had such a disappointment. Remember, today will be the rawest, most upsetting day and he will get past this bump - time will heal and there are some good suggestions on here.

ludocris · 18/08/2022 16:57

Have you tried the search function on the UCAS website?

dribblewibble · 18/08/2022 16:57

If he has his heart set on Newcastle he's going to have to resit.

Check they take resits first.

Can you afford a tutor for him?

Is it exam technique that's let him down or was it that he didn't revise the content effectively?

AgathaMystery · 18/08/2022 16:58

Good point re: Newcastle accepting resits.

A friends daughter did the course mentioned here with the year in industry. she now works for a household name (food company) and in the past 3yrs have been all over the world on projects with them. I am absolutely amazed at the contacts she made during that year in industry.

happy to discuss via DM.

your poor lad. Tonight will be very hard but once he has a focus things will get easier. Expect wobbles at Xmas when friends come home for the 1st time etc.

Hopeandlove · 18/08/2022 16:59

Resit and work his arse off - that’s the only way.

he needs to commit - and that means a certain number of hours per night, also epq and other qualification to get his ucas e points up

newstart1234 · 18/08/2022 17:00

Poor lad. My DH failed his A levels and now he's a senior academic. Tell your boy it's not how you fall that's important but how you stand up again. He can find a way to get to Newcastle uni if wants it enough. Hopefully given a bit of time he'll find his way. This is not an insurmountable task. Personally I'd recommend some time to decompress (a year or 2 out) before committing tens of thousands to a course or uni he is not 100% sure about.

TheCutter · 18/08/2022 17:01

I feel for him, op. For him, it's the end of the world and it's absolutely soul destroying to see grades you weren't expecting. Similar happened to my friend in high school and she didn't get the grades for uni. She took a year out, went to college, resat the highers and got into uni the year after. I don't know what you can do/say to make him feel better now but just emphasising that Newcastle is still an option, just for 2023 instead.

Lockupyourbiscuits · 18/08/2022 17:02

Aww I feel for you
I think he should definitely resit, it will be much easier the second time and he will feel he’s done himself justice
Lots of people are one year older at university and they do very well socially and gives another year to build confidence and mature

I also think it might be good to really explore a bigger range of universities
I believe Cardiff and Liverpool are excellent comparable cities / universities and then it won’t be an all or nothing

Also making your insurance place a lower grade gives you a great safety net in case things don’t go so well

good luck to you and your son

You can’t take away the disappointment only be there to offer support and understanding . Once a few days have passed and a plan is formed he will definitely feel better but he’s allowed to be gutted today .
It’s a really valuable life skill to deal with life’s challenges. Moving forward he can look back and be really proud of his resilience and achievements

IsItShining · 18/08/2022 17:02

The other thing to remember is that he will need a certain level of A level knowledge to keep up at university. At the moment, his results suggest that he’s missed out or misunderstood quite a bit of the courses. Resitting will give him a chance to really get to grips with the subjects so he can thrive when he does go to uni.

Midge75 · 18/08/2022 17:03

Ugh, it's horrible! When I did my A-levels, one of my best friends, my boyfriend and I all wanted to go to Birmingham University. Only I made it in, despite me having stuffed up my History - they still took points in those days and General Studies, which I had always considered a waste of time, got me in. My friend was distraught, I also cried buckets at the dream falling down the drain. But my boyfriend got in at Manchester and did really well, my friend stayed at home and re-sat and is now very successful, though she never did go to Birmingham in the end. It really does feel like the end of the world at the time, so I have every sympathy with him, but it will work itself out in some way. Lots of love to him and you.

Volterra · 18/08/2022 17:05

HerRoyalNotness · 18/08/2022 16:41

Someone I know got BCD and was accepted to Kent for biomed a couple years back. Seem very happy there and going in to final year

I was going to suggest Kent but couldn’t work out the tariff points. Someone I know did Biomed there after not getting first choice. Placement year with GSK, got a first then straight into a Ph.D.

frozenorangejuice · 18/08/2022 17:06

It will be ok. I didn’t get into my first choice and had no other uni offers. I was devastated. I went to a university in a city I’d never been to through clearing. I went on to get a degree and two masters. It seemed unthinkable at the time! If his absolutely first and only choice is Newcastle then he could resit his a-levels, no sweat.